Since I cut him off, I recognize everything surrounding the way he spoke and treated me. It was the best I did for myself. It helped me to focus on my mental health and prioritize myself in terms of knowing myself. I lost certain aspects of myself. This helped to regain some aspects of me. This seas...

I talked to him for a bit, but I ended all contact. I told him to not contact me again as that would be best in terms of preceding forward.

My therapist wants me to write a paper about all the traumas I already have addressed. As much as I want to say I did this, I haven't it done fully. I thought this guy was a friend for the longest time. I recognized this was wrong of me. Past messages and the way he conveyed himself for the decision...

I know situationally this is considered rape, but I froze again. Some people may not view it as a sexual assault or rape. Although I went through this in the past, I still froze and I went through with it. The guy took off my pants after I conveyed I wanted nothing sexual or advance to it. He disre...

I know situationally this is considered rape, but I froze again. Some people may not view it as a special assault or rape. Although I went through this in the past, I still froze and I went through with it. The guy took off my pants after I conveyed I wanted nothing sexual or advance to it. He disre...

I still remember these events. It came back when I have been healing from it. I was sexually harassed when I was 13 years old. This all started because I said no to this guy who wanted to date me and wanted sex. He started sexually harassing me in my Civics class. He would say disgusting things. He ...

Thank you for sending these links, I greatly appreciate it! I'm proud I didn't allow the shame to get to me when I told my midwife. I immediately told her briefly what happened. It hurts seeing my partner by my other side seeing this as he holds my hand. He was comforting me and he told me he was pr...

Yes please! I'd my appointment today and my flashback couldn't be held back anymore. My partner was holding my left hand and he recognized my blackout. I was trying my best not to allow the flashback to affect me during the examination, but I finally let it out. The first thing I did was breaking do...

I didn't tell them about my flashbacks, but I'll let them know for my next appointment. I'd the intuition not to have one after the examination; I get a bit crampy and this was three days before my due date. This's one of my reasons why I declined. For my PTSD, I cope through it as best as I can. If...

My appointment went well yesterday, but I declined the cervical exam. I wanted to do it, but I found it best to decline as I've been coping through the flashbacks. I've been working through the PTSD that comes with this as it has been surfacing more than usual lately. In my next examination, I'll di...

My appointment will be later today, so I'll be talking about ways to help me through my examination. During my flashbacks, I breathe and relax my body. Over time, I acknowledged it was my fault I was sexually assaulted. I understand he used power and control to hurt me. I was sexually coerced into d...

Next time I do get this examination, I'll inform them about this. I know it's for my baby's and my health, and I get this to see if I've dilated or not. The shame I feel's not because I'm ashamed of myself and the events that occured three years ago. I'm ashamed after these years, it still hits me. ...

Yesterday I'd my prenatal appointment, and I'm a week away to having my baby soon. Yesterday and last Wednesday, I'd my cervix examined for dilation. It was during this process, I'd a flashback to Dalton deep fisting me. I tried getting it out of my head, but I couldn't. My partner asked if it was t...

Thank you, Marisha for sharing these resources! I'm looking forward to reading these resources.

Yes please and thank you.

I've been thinking about other options. After a year of my sexual assault, I started to see counseling was starting to become less ideal. I was grateful for her and her time, but counseling wasn't working out for me. Instead I was starting to cope through it fully as counseling did open that door fo...

When I’ve these thoughts also, I process and cope through it as much as possible. If I need someone to talk, I talk to my fiance and one of my trusted confidants (close friends); I consider them my support group.

The next chapter I read was about sexual assault effects. Honestly, I know this’s a struggle for anyone who went through sexual assault. I learned to recognize my effects and I tried my absolute best to cope through this fully at that moment. It took me a while to know I was safe from Dalton as I st...

Thank you, Sam! When I found out what my relationship was for three months, I wanted to receive any help I could get. Thankfully, I reached out to loveisrespect , RAINN, other sexual assault resource websites, and this website included. Two years ago, I wanted to get this out as I acknowledged the t...

Also, I remember Dalton started dry humping me before he fingered which led to deep fisting. I was scared since he wasn't wearing a condom. I tried my best not to show my fears and tears to him, so it wouldn't be used to his advantage. Unfortunately, there are certain things that I don't remember as...

I'm proud of myself for the long way haul recovery over the past couple of years. It wasn't easy, but I was determined to find ways to cope through this in time. So much has happened since this. Thankfully, I've not dealt with any flashbacks as I used to a year ago. When flashbacks did come, I remin...

Thank you so much, Sam! I was blamed for causing all of this. They undermined my circumstances with Dalton, because I wasn’t forced into anything. I explained I was coerced into things, yet they victim blamed me. It made my healing worse as I felt like I was going crazy. This’s where I did my resear...

Thank you! Also, this thought was racing throughout my mind yesterday. I was undermined by the same people who told me I chose to be sexually assaulted. They said this because my circumstances wasn’t rape (force) related. I blocked this out, it didn’t feel right to me. I explained to them that I was...

My fiance reassured me during a flashback while he comforts me. My friends, I talk to them if my fiance can’t talk. They remind me, I’m no longer with Dalton. They validate my circumstance with Dalton, and they help me to talk through my flashback. If it’s comments regarding the ignorance around my ...

The people I do trust, I do talk to them if it’s needed. However, I’m trying to break out of the survival tactics I’d to do with Dalton. Even though I try, I get hyper vigilant because Dalton was very controlling with me when it comes to pleasing. Although I’m with my fiance, I get reminded of Dalto...