Search found 53 matches

by tomatopotato
Wed Sep 09, 2020 5:17 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I don't really know why I had the feeling I had to do things - maybe because he was so unavailable emotionally so he kinda set the standards of the whole encounter. Saying "no" would have been "uncool", i would have been seen as "complicated" if i insisted on a boundary...
by tomatopotato
Mon Sep 07, 2020 8:14 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

hey, the guy I have been talking about in this thread actually texted me a month ago after i cut off contact. He apologized for disrespecting my boundaries, that he did not take enough care of my feelings and that he was intrusive in the way he communicated with me. Don't really know what i should t...
by tomatopotato
Tue Aug 11, 2020 6:31 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Activism during Covid
Replies: 3
Views: 275

Re: Activism during Covid

Hi Sam, thank you for your kind response! I am currently with a group digitally, and yes, it does not feel the same, but it is still good to support my group with background work etc. All my friends live in different cities and meeting them would require taking the train and sleeping at their place,...
by tomatopotato
Mon Aug 10, 2020 5:33 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Activism during Covid
Replies: 3
Views: 275

Activism during Covid

So I'm currently in Germany where the pandemic didn't hit so hard compared to other countries. There are a lot of environmental protests now and in the upcoming two months, and while they are very important to me, I am pretty afraid to engage in them - due to The Covid mainly. Those protests involve...
by tomatopotato
Fri Jun 12, 2020 12:11 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Boundaries
Replies: 3
Views: 639

Re: Boundaries

I've chosen to basically tell him what you have written out for me (thank you!), that I've learned a lot talking to him so far but do not want to have intense contact beyond politicak organizing for now. He was pretty surprised that I've felt like he is interested in me romantially/sexually, and hon...
by tomatopotato
Fri Jun 12, 2020 3:12 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Boundaries
Replies: 3
Views: 639

Boundaries

Hey there, just wanted to get something off my chest quickly: I've met some guy on instagram due to organizing a demonstration, and we've talked quite a bit on the phone and a couple of days later again. While he had an interesting perspective as a Black man in europe and was generally friendly, he ...
by tomatopotato
Thu Apr 16, 2020 2:36 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 646

Re: Slurs

So maybe I've overreacted quite a bit, he does not use those terms constantly, but rather has done it like 5 times in the last 2 weeks. Its bad enough, but not like he is threatening me. I am also not queer myself, so I do not feel hurt on a personal level, I am just really angry that he might be wa...
by tomatopotato
Wed Apr 15, 2020 10:49 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 646

Re: Slurs

First of all, thank you for your kind responses! @Raffles I'm really sorry to hear that! I hope that you do have other folks in your family, chosen family or friendgroup who support you. Don't pressure yourself to have The Talk with your Dad, especially if he is threatening you. Have you talked anyb...
by tomatopotato
Wed Apr 15, 2020 6:41 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 646

Slurs

My brother has used queerphobic slurs a couple of times, only to say "I know that you're upset, you're so upset right know" afterwards - even though I am trying to keep as calm as possible to avoid giving him the feeling that he is right. I have tried to play it cool, I've tried to explain...
by tomatopotato
Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:08 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: deciding where to live
Replies: 3
Views: 647

Re: deciding where to live

dear horriblegoose, thank your for your kind response! I would not need much stuff, I am living very minimalistically. The critical point is the money I get from the government, I might not get it when I move states without going to school/University. And without that, moving is impossible. Addition...
by tomatopotato
Mon Mar 02, 2020 6:41 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: deciding where to live
Replies: 3
Views: 647

deciding where to live

dear people on the message boards, currently I have to deal with a big lump of indecisiveness regarding where to live. At the moment I am living in an aquaintances room in a shared flat for free since they are traveling for a long time in city B. However, I dislike their flatmates a lot. I simply do...
by tomatopotato
Thu Jan 30, 2020 3:39 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

Dear scarleteen People, I'm simply writing this for reassurance. I have talked to the guy about the sex we had and realized I do not want to see him anymore. First, I feel judged by him saying that he doesn't want to "accuse me of being inexperienced sexually" since I seemed not very enthu...
by tomatopotato
Mon Jan 27, 2020 4:32 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I've tried cuddling with a friend of mine, that helps, but I he's not living near me. All of my other friends do not like cuddling. I'm really feeling lonely and tried almost everything to meet people. And I've met a lot, liked a lot, but they are living far away and are not as available as I'd like...
by tomatopotato
Sun Jan 26, 2020 2:33 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

In general, I felt pressured. While the first person activly pressured me and didn't even seem to know about consent, the second was "my boyfriend". He assumed that we were in a relationship without asking me, after I was unsure about him in genereal since he said nasty things about queer ...
by tomatopotato
Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:15 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I've called him today and got a positive response. He's totally fine with being friends and did not expect an ongoing romantic or sexual relationship. However, even though I am not interested in those kinds of relationships with him, it hurts. To me it does not feel like he did want to have sex with...
by tomatopotato
Sat Jan 25, 2020 1:09 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

One thing that doesn't make sense to me, I'm not ashamed of wanting casual sex, I'm simple ashamed of not experiencing a lot of attraction (which ist a similar with the belief that a lot of attraction ist linked to empowerment), but If I had the chance to have some kind of casual sex with somebody I...
by tomatopotato
Sat Jan 25, 2020 10:00 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I do have fantasies which are tied to persons I make up on my own or are lossly based on somebody I crushed on. I have the ability to experience desire and arousal in general and it's rather tied to certain people and personal connection or plain porn. I'm going to call him tomorrow and ask, and I'm...
by tomatopotato
Sat Jan 25, 2020 9:14 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

Dear Sam, the only time where I felt sexually connected to somebody else was when I hold hands with a guy I was absolutely crushing on. When I got to know him better my crush disappeared but I still engaged in making out before cutting him off. Last year where I danced with a stranger at a party I f...
by tomatopotato
Sat Jan 25, 2020 8:24 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

Thank you for your kind response! It's what I needed to hear right now. I do know that not being interested in somebody is valid and I cannot force myself to feel anything. However, I do not want to be that way (but I can't change and that's something I have to learn.) I have been wondering a couple...
by tomatopotato
Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:07 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I definitely can relate to a lot you both have written above! My anxiety regarding crushes has faded I guess, however, I haven't had a big crush again in the last couple of months, so I can't know for sure. I'm still into the same kind of people roughly, calm and slightly shy boys with a witty humor...
by tomatopotato
Wed Jan 22, 2020 8:52 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

Re: How does being in love change?

I am already noticing that I'm protective of my boundaries and connecting with people feels more natural. My mental health is in a really good state right now, I was simply worrying if I'm somehow overprotective of myself and don't fall for people anymore which I could have fallen for maybe a year a...
by tomatopotato
Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:29 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 25
Views: 2157

How does being in love change?

Might be a question that isn't even nessecary, but it's occupying my mind a little and I haven't had the chance to talk to my friends about it yet. How does being in love or crushing on somebody feel when you gained confidence? I only can remember being super super anxious when I crushed on somebody...
by tomatopotato
Thu Dec 19, 2019 10:31 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Racism, Ableism and Dating Apps
Replies: 5
Views: 987

Re: Racism, Ableism and Dating Apps

while I am not an a new journey to learn about these things, I just have been paying extra attention in real life to my privileges. I want to thank you for pointing out that I am not responsible for saving the world alone and that "saving somebody" from x situation just by being somebody w...
by tomatopotato
Wed Dec 18, 2019 3:42 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: The Virginity Scam
Replies: 7
Views: 1050

Re: The Virginity Scam

I'm thinking of virginity (or rather sexual debut) as a cluster of different sexual experiences. Some I have made, some I haven't yet and some I don't want to make ever. I for myself would not consider myself a virgin, since I dislike the word and have made my sexual experiences - it doesn't need a ...
by tomatopotato
Wed Dec 18, 2019 3:11 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Racism, Ableism and Dating Apps
Replies: 5
Views: 987

Re: Racism, Ableism and Dating Apps

Thank you for your kind response! I've thought about it and I guess dating apps make me feel slightly bad about myself in general - it's so contradictory, i wanna be open to all Kinds of People but in the end I'm somehow always ending up liking white guys the most. I think it's more about their soci...

Can't find what you're looking for? Try searching our old board archive or our main site.

Go to advanced search