Search found 7184 matches

by Sam W
Sat May 28, 2022 8:27 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: What happend?
Replies: 5
Views: 69

Re: What happend?

Would it help to talk here about how the two of you came to the decision to move in together? You're right that it's a process where there's going to be some baseline stress, but we can also talk about those misgivings and what it might make sense to do with them.
by Sam W
Sat May 28, 2022 8:12 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Is vasectomy an advisable solution?
Replies: 1
Views: 12

Re: Is vasectomy an advisable solution?

Hi Gio, I think it's great that you're proactively thinking about ways that you can manage not only the risks, but your own anxieties when it comes to pregnancy and sex! If someone doesn't want children, then a vasectomy is certainly a possible solution, and one you could look into. The tricky thing...
by Sam W
Sat May 28, 2022 8:03 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker AND ANGRY
Replies: 1
Views: 20

Re: Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker AND ANGRY

Madasheck, Before I say anything else, I want to say that anger you're feeling is absolutely justified given how the adults in this situation are behaving. It already sounds like you're taking what steps you can to try and get legal recourse and maybe some sense of justice, which takes a tremendous ...
by Sam W
Sat May 28, 2022 7:54 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Virgin
Replies: 7
Views: 65

Re: Virgin

As both Mo and I mentioned, it's a really, really common part of sexual arousal to have the clitoris get noticeably larger and harder. It's just not something that's talked about as much, so a lot of people don't realize that's the case; does feel like what's going on in your situation? Or do you ha...
by Sam W
Fri May 27, 2022 10:33 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Virgin
Replies: 7
Views: 65

Re: Virgin

Hi Qwerty__123, I agree with your gynecologist that this is a normal way for a clitoris to look. I hear you saying you don't think other clitorises do the same thing, but in fact they do! The clitoris getting a little bigger and harder when aroused is normal part of the sexual response cycle. Do you...
by Sam W
Fri May 27, 2022 7:08 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can't Stay Hard During PIV Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 96

Re: Can't Stay Hard During PIV Sex

Hi ackser85, Honestly, having a certain kind of sex because you feel like you "should" in order to be normal is a great way to torpedo positive sexual interactions with your girlfriend. After all, you and she get to decide what goes on in your sex life based on what things you both enjoy a...
by Sam W
Fri May 27, 2022 6:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 6
Views: 100

Re: Masturbation

You're very welcome! As for what kind of brain space you're in, this article has some really good suggestions for how to create a space where you're very aroused and into what's going on, which can really increase how much you enjoy masturbation: How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own...
by Sam W
Fri May 27, 2022 6:54 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: What happend?
Replies: 5
Views: 69

Re: What happend?

Hi pianolover, You mention this only happened once, but are there other things about his behavior as a partner that signal he's not respectful of your boundaries? Or is he good about them? I ask because sometimes during sex it can take a second to process what a partner is saying or doing, even if i...
by Sam W
Thu May 26, 2022 10:15 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 6
Views: 100

Re: Masturbation

Hi Masu, Since masturbation is fairly new to you, I think you'll get a lot of use out of these two articles, both in terms of the ways people masturbate and how the different parts of our bodies can be involved in pleasure: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation , With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexu...
by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:59 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Seeking out information/where to go from here
Replies: 5
Views: 101

Re: Seeking out information/where to go from here

Hi Lucy4, Since it sounds like asexuality doesn't feel like the right term for you, do you feel like a term like "celibate" fits better? And for you, is it that you experience sexual desire but have no interest in ever acting on it or on ever pursuing dates? Or is it more that there's no d...
by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:21 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can you know someone had oral sex by their smell?
Replies: 1
Views: 59

Re: Can you know someone had oral sex by their smell?

Hi YellowPamonha, Nope, there is not a specific smell that oral sex leaves in the mouth that another person could use to "prove" that's what they'd been doing (too, if you use a condom, there's no fluids passing into your mouth to leave a smell, period). Not to mention that if you brush yo...
by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:15 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Am I really a lesbian?
Replies: 1
Views: 68

Re: Am I really a lesbian?

Hi anonymous13234, Nice to see you again! And I'm glad to hear you're in a better place, mental health-wise. Since you've been doing a lot of reading and soul searching, you might already know that our fantasies don't always represent the desires we have for our actual selves; there's just something...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Crush
Replies: 4
Views: 114

Re: Crush

You're very welcome! And I think that's a totally sound reason not to want to act on a crush right now. In terms of conversation, do you think it would help to think of some topics you have in common ahead of time that you could talk about? It can also help to focus on asking genuine follow-up quest...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?
Replies: 3
Views: 172

Re: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?

Hi brungerbulb, So, while it certainly sounds like consuming this content influenced you, being influenced by something isn't the same as being harmed by it. And from the sound of it, you still think really positively of this content and some of the ideas it introduced you to. There's nothing wrong ...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Crush
Replies: 4
Views: 114

Re: Crush

Hi hiImcrocheting, If this is someone you knew in person, have a lot in common with, and who seems really supportive of you, it makes a lot of sense that you'd develop a crush on them! While some people tend to only get crushes on people they see in person, plenty of people end up with crushes in lo...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 7:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can changing routine cause a late period
Replies: 1
Views: 71

Re: Can changing routine cause a late period

Hi Lovelly_Kayyy, Periods can be late for a lot of reasons, including things like stress (which it sounds like you've been dealing with quite a bit of). If you take a look at this article, you can see if there are other reasons that might apply to your situation: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period? .
by Sam W
Fri May 20, 2022 7:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Urination With Erection Often Hurts After Masturbation
Replies: 4
Views: 148

Re: Urination With Erection Often Hurts After Masturbation

Hi Thoughtful1, While some people with penises experience some discomfort peeing after masturbation or sex due to rubbing and friction, pain can also be a sign of infection or other issues. Since we can't say for certain what's causing it, I recommend checking in with a healthcare provider to see if...
by Sam W
Fri May 20, 2022 7:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Difficult in using vaginal capsule
Replies: 1
Views: 85

Re: Difficult in using vaginal capsule

Hi Linda, So, to start out with, being a virgin isn't the main cause of this issue; virginity is an idea, not a physical state, and someone who's had vaginal sex lots of times could have the same issues inserting this that you are. If you want to learn more about virginity, this is a great starting ...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 46
Views: 3449

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

Hi MusicNerd, I'm sorry to hear this ended in a break-up since you were feeling so positive about it. That can be such a rough feeling, even when you know it may be the best option given where your ex is in terms of their own emotional journey. I think it's really sound of you to recognize that you'...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:11 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: how does one apply lube?
Replies: 1
Views: 60

Re: how does one apply lube?

Hi electricswitch, This is an instance where I would say the fanfiction you're reading is pretty accurate! Lube needs to be applied whenever something--be that fingers, a sex toy, a penis, etc-- is inserted into the anus. So applying it to both the fingers and the penis in those scenes is an accurat...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:04 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is there something wrong with me
Replies: 7
Views: 281

Re: Is there something wrong with me

Okay, so that's likely why masturbation isn't feeling like much for you. A helpful next step would be to explore different ways of connecting with your arousal and fantasies. How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms. Do you see some things in that article you could try?
by Sam W
Mon May 16, 2022 7:34 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 73
Views: 980

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

I think you're already doing a big part of it, which is acknowledging that this just isn't something she's likely to take responsibility for, and that you don't need her to completely agree with your version of the break-up for it to have been the right choice. It may be that part of you is hoping f...
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 10:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: tw sexual assault
Replies: 5
Views: 127

Re: tw sexual assault

You're so welcome, and I'm glad we're able to help you out with that language! In addition to getting support here, if it would help we could also talk about how to broaden your support network so you feel like you're not alone in navigating all this.
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 9:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: tw sexual assault
Replies: 5
Views: 127

Re: tw sexual assault

Talking about this kind of stuff is hard, so it's absolutely okay if you're not sure how to articulate things or if there are things you aren't ready to discuss. We're here to support you, and that means letting you take things at the pace that's comfortable for you. What you're describing absolutel...

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