Search found 7459 matches

by Sam W
Sat Dec 03, 2022 8:58 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Coping with sexual shame re: family and upbringing
Replies: 1
Views: 35

Re: Coping with sexual shame re: family and upbringing

Hi jellybeanqueen, This sounds like a really stressful situation, in part because it sounds like they are already being judgmental about this to the point of being rude not only to you, but to your partner. Do you think it would be helpful to start by trying to set boundaries with them, rather than ...
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Condom question
Replies: 5
Views: 95

Re: Condom question

Yes, that's something that can happen sometimes. Too, if you're worried, it may help to make sure that whoever is wearing the condom is wearing one that isn't too loose.
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:16 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Body Image(??)
Replies: 3
Views: 56

Re: Body Image(??)

Hi awhiskandalamp, So, there are two smaller things I want to address before we get to the heart of this question. The first is that, given your age, it's important to remember that you're still on the early end of puberty, which is in and of itself going to cause some changes to your body shape and...
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:03 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Condom question
Replies: 5
Views: 95

Re: Condom question

Hi 55,

It's possible for some pre-ejaculate or ejaculate to end up in the sides of the condom. But as long as it's not coming out of the base, it's not cause for concern (since it's still trapped inside the condom).
by Sam W
Tue Nov 29, 2022 8:27 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: i feel like i'll never have a relationship
Replies: 1
Views: 71

Re: i feel like i'll never have a relationship

Hi MissBeehive, It sounds like there are a few different things going on here that are all crashing together to make you feel super stressed! Let's start with those worries around romance and possibly being aromantic. While it's entirely possible for some folks to realize they're aromantic at a youn...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 28, 2022 7:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 705

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, In that case, I would raise that topic the next time you speak with them. If you're not sure how to do that or how to approach the topic with them, that's certainly something we can help you brainstorm. Too, with those feelings of shame or that this is somehow too "out there" as a ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 11:18 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.
Replies: 5
Views: 206

Re: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.

Hi gizmoX, I just wanted to chime in with a few additional points! When it comes to the actual conversations, I think a good first step would be to have a check-in where you both have space to say how you're feeling about this whole thing. That could include what parts of it you're comfortable with ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 705

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, That's helpful information, thank you! One thing to consider is that it's very unlikely that a therapist, including a sex therapist, is going to approach this issue through the lens of "ridding" you of that particular sexual interest. However, from what you said up-thread, it may b...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:14 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse
Replies: 3
Views: 146

Re: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse

Hi Cal, I'm so glad the site has been helpful for you over the years! Realizing that something from your past was abusive or traumatic can be so incredibly rough, and I'm so sorry that your friend chose to hurt you in those ways. Since both the past abuse and these new thought patterns are causing y...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 349

Re: help with masturbation?

I'm glad you're seeing a mental health professional for some extra support! I've been looking around to see if there's any research into panic attacks happening during masturbation, and I did find this article that suggests this isn't something only you are dealing with. Does anything in it feel lik...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:09 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 349

Re: help with masturbation?

Are there any relaxation techniques that tend to help you during panic attacks at other times? I ask because I wonder if incorporating those into masturbation, or using them when you start to notice the tension switching into the shut down mode might head off those feelings of panic.
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 9:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 349

Re: help with masturbation?

Got it, those details are all really helpful! One thing that could possibly be at play is that some people can find the tension build-up that tends to happen very, very close to orgasm is so overwhelming that they pull back from it. Do you think that could be happening here? Too, do you ever experie...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:30 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 219

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

We're always ready to read what folks post here, even if it feels jumbled on your end! I'm wondering if one possible way to approach this is by making this a series of conversations you two have together, rather than you trying to figure this all out on your own and then communicate it to her in one...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 349

Re: help with masturbation?

Hi arrivederci, That sounds like a really frustrating thing to experience! Is there any pattern to what tends to cause that tension and panic? For instance, do you notice it happening if your thoughts drift a certain way, or if your body registers a certain sensation? Too, does it feel like the shut...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 219

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

Hi Lee1234, So, it sounds like there might be a few things happening here that are getting tangled up and making this even harder for you to sort out. I think there are a few starting places that might help us untangle it. Let's start with that feeling scared to say what you want. When you think abo...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:16 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: porn sucks
Replies: 2
Views: 149

Re: porn sucks

Hi dreaminglucid, So, there are plenty of people out there who don't like porn, period, so you're not alone in that. There are also plenty of people out there who do enjoy it, but have found that what they enjoy is porn that's not made by mainstream companies and is instead made by women or queer fo...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:06 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Are women who sexual pictures of themselves on social media perpetuate the idea that is okay for men to enjoy the view
Replies: 4
Views: 190

Re: Are women who sexual pictures of themselves on social media perpetuate the idea that is okay for men to enjoy the v

Hi Rave, So, as Mo said, I think a helpful thing to bring to your grandfather is the fact that feminists are not a single group with one set of opinions. There's a huge variety in terms of the ways people interpret feminism for themselves, and some of those ways do include telling individual women n...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 18, 2022 9:12 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 5821

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Hi Mixxes, From the sound of it, your relationship with Lake may also be heading towards an end. Them saying things like they have no energy left for you and that they're "not built for serious conversations" seems to be them telling you where their priorities lie in terms of their relatio...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 18, 2022 8:36 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Coping with what happened
Replies: 1
Views: 137

Re: Coping with what happened

Hi Marvel1999, I want to start by echoing what Emily said in chat (we can see the history on our end because that helps us provide better support, and I wanted to make sure I was caught up on what you needed), that relying on substances to cope with things like trauma isn't ideal, especially because...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 17, 2022 9:07 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbation doesn't feel good, but in the future I am very interested in having sex and I'm worried I won't like it
Replies: 3
Views: 175

Re: Masturbation doesn't feel good, but in the future I am very interested in having sex and I'm worried I won't like it

Hi Kuriosity, It sounds like you've been doing a lot of experimentation and exploration around all this, which is a great step! Too, it sounds like you're getting some pleasure out of this, even if it's happening purely on the brain end of things, so you do get some positive sensations out of those ...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 17, 2022 8:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: masturbation questions
Replies: 5
Views: 2448

Re: masturbation questions

Hi Latte, I'm glad that was helpful! If you want to branch out and experiment with other fantasies or media to incorporate into masturbation, that's certainly something you can try! But if you've found things that feel good to your brain and body, then I think it's also okay to use those; I don't th...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 15, 2022 8:07 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that
Replies: 15
Views: 434

Re: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that

Hi Anne-26368, It can be so frustrating to feel like your body will only do what you want it to under super specific circumstances! Since it sounds like you've done quite a bit of experimenting, can I ask what happens if you only use an external vibrator, sleeve, or something else that focuses on ex...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 705

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, I'm sorry to hear that your therapist hasn't been super helpful around this. Can you say a little more about why you feel like those conversations haven't gone anywhere? Too, have you and your therapist ever worked on approaches or tools for addressing non-sexual thoughts or feelings that le...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:19 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Me and my girlfriend cant finish when we r with eachother
Replies: 1
Views: 138

Re: Me and my girlfriend cant finish when we r with eachother

Hi buggy3, It can certainly be frustrating to reach orgasm from something that you think should get you there. But an important thing to remember is there's single form of sexual stimulation that's going to lead to someone having an orgasm; what bodies enjoy is highly variable, not only from person ...

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