Scarleteen Boards

You're so very welcome.

The first part in a three part series from Caitlyn Tivy: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abus ... ual_trauma

I speaking with your therapist about this is a sound next step in terms of taking care of yourself! If you want some help working out how to bring this all up, that's certainly something we can talk about. Too, do you feel like you have a lot of information on how to take risks, of any kind, safely ...

Hi suomi, I'm so sorry that person chose to do that to you. I want to start by saying that you are ultimately the one in control of how you choose to describe what happened; we can certainly give you our take on it, but you're the expert on your experiences and feelings. With all that in mind, this ...

Hi amyk, So, the important thing to focus on is that you've done one of the big things we recommend when people are having a pregnancy scare: you've taken pregnancy tests, and they've all come back negative. Which means you're not pregnant, regardless of all the other things you're noticing in your ...

Hi Pebblefeathers, Homecoming dates, or any date to high school dance, can for sure be a one time thing! In fact, I can think of several people I know personally who went to homecoming with a date who was a friend, and stayed a friend after they went. Now, all that being said, if you think or know t...

Hi lb07, I'm sorry that this person saw you opening up about the same thing you told us to and reacted by trying to pressure you into something sexual; that's such a gross thing to do, and I'm glad you were able to hold your boundaries and not send anything you weren't comfortable with. If nothing e...

Hi eliziaenlope, You know, our feelings aren't really "good" or "normal" in the way people tend to use those words; they just are. And more to the point, people can and do feel all kinds of ways about different sexual activities, and you're far from the first person to want to li...

If you've been feeling frustrated with how masturbation has been going, then taking a break--whether that's just for a few days or for a bit longer--might help just in terms of offering a reset. In terms of things to introduce into masturbation in the moment, I think this is a place where giving you...

I'm glad to hear you talked with your best friend! Even if it didn't result in what you were hoping for, you got practice asking for the kind of touch you're seeking and got important information about that friend's boundaries. I would for sure try asking other close friends; if nothing else, you no...

Hi thatguyfr, With masturbation, there isn't really one, specific way that people are supposed to masturbate; it's one of those things where the way(s) people do it depend on the likes and dislikes of their bodies. If you're looking for some common ways people do masturbate, this article is a great ...

Thanks for those details! You know, I think there may be a chance that what you're experiencing might be orgasm, particularly if it includes those involuntary contractions in and around the vagina. That would also explain the abruptness of the change from it feeling good to it feeling numb. You ment...

Hi Rachel 1, So, with the advice both Heather and Jacob gave, they're not saying you should go your whole life without masturbating; they're saying that for right now, the way you're approaching this is causing you so much stress and also isn't producing the result you're hoping for, and so it's a g...

Hi Lyle Lanley, You know, whether or not to block him is a call that's entirely up to you. If you feel like that's the way to remove the stress of this situation, then you get to set that boundary; you're not obligated to give him a final warning or anything like that. Too, if you're already noticin...

Ah, okay, thank you for clarifying. My previous answer was based on you mentioning that you barely feel ant pleasure but that it feels better than nothing. With that "possessed" feeling, does there seem to be any pattern to what sets it off, or any signs that it's about to happen? For inst...

Hi catsaregreat, It does sound like the overall dynamic with sex between you two isn't a great one; you feel like things are uneven and like you're not enjoying yourself, and they don't want to engage in the sexual things you actually do like. So I agree with you that ending the sexual element of th...

Hi CrazyBonobo, The tricky thing when we're talking about desire and attraction is that it's one of those things where there are a bunch of factors that likely contribute to it; our experiences, the messages we get from culture and media, the people we're exposed to, etc. And there's also the fact t...

Hi florence23, You know, one period product isn't necessarily easier to use than another; that's one of those things where the ease of using it depends entirely on the individual person and their body. So, in your case, if nothing you're doing --not lube or position or tampon size--is making the pro...

Hi MindfulGoldfish, This sounds like a really scary moment, and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. And I hear you on that fear that if you tell people or ask for help, you'll be dismissed because they don't perceive the situation as anything to be worried about. It's very considerate of you to be th...

Got it. What if, as a first step, you sent him a pretty basic message saying that you miss spending time with him and would like to hang out. If you've already moved, that hangout might have to take the form of a call or something like that, but it would still give you two the chance to reconnect an...

You're very welcome!

You know, it's totally okay to not have masturbated much (or at all, for that matter)! We each get to know and be comfortable with our bodies at our own pace. When it comes to that anxiety you feel, when you try to masturbate does it latch onto a particular topic, like feelings about your body or th...

Ah, okay, thank you for clarifying that. In your initial post, you mention missing him. If he's still in your life and you feel like the crush is in the past, is there something in particular that's getting in the way of connecting with him?

Okay! This series is a great starting place:
The Answers (for Now)

Got it. There are a few different ways you could approach this, and they depend on what you feel would be the way to help those feelings subside. Do you think time is enough on it's own to let the crush fade? Or are you getting the sense that in order for it to go away, you might need to interact wi...