Search found 8748 matches

by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 10:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't ignore social stigma
Replies: 7
Views: 152

Re: Can't ignore social stigma

Okay! So, here are a few starting places on unlearning or combating shame-based messages: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone (I think the sections towards the end are good for getting positive messages about sexual orientation) https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics_sexual_identit...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 10:03 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'd like to try a sex toy
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: I'd like to try a sex toy

You're welcome!
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 9:14 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Saddened (disproportionately) by portrayal of my favourite characters in fanfic
Replies: 1
Views: 44

Re: Saddened (disproportionately) by portrayal of my favourite characters in fanfic

Hi Laayiv, I'm going to address the more creative concerns first. As someone who's been involved in fandom spaces to greater and lesser degrees throughout my life, I can think of zero instances in which there was only one dynamic of a given ship that people wanted to read (or write). Even in relativ...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'd like to try a sex toy
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: I'd like to try a sex toy

Hi FullOfQuestions, The tricky thing is that, without being in a store with you, talking you through your options is tricky because there's so much available. Too, what sex toys feel good depends a lot on an individuals preferences and body, and sometimes there will be a bit of trial and error to fi...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:42 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't ignore social stigma
Replies: 7
Views: 152

Re: Can't ignore social stigma

Hi Mika, We'd be happy to point you towards some more pieces that might be helpful for you! To make sure I'm looking for the right things, are you specifically looking for help unlearning or counteracting the shame directed at queer people? And if so, are there particular framings of that shame that...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:38 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: received nudes from an older guy
Replies: 1
Views: 38

Re: received nudes from an older guy

Hi Lyle Lanley, If the photo is just of his upper body, then it'd be hard for anyone to make the argument that he's sending pornographic material. Too, revenge porn tends to refer to someone sharing an explicit, sexual image that was given to them in confidence, so it'd be something that was actuall...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:31 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?
Replies: 12
Views: 240

Re: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?

Hi Ayn, I think those two desires make an incredible amount of sense given what you've shared with us. And I think it speaks a lot to your own determination to take care of yourself and your own strength that you've decided nothing is going to make you go back to living with your mom. I do think it'...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:00 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Resources to learn about effects of AFAB people doing testosterone?
Replies: 1
Views: 39

Re: Resources to learn about effects of AFAB people doing testosterone?

Hi bluespreadsheet, If you haven't seen it yet, this section of our Trans Summer School might be a helpful starting place: Testosterone . A lot of the effects of testosterone are consistent regardless of age, although if you start it when you're older, if it was in your genes for you to go bald that...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 20, 2024 1:02 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?
Replies: 12
Views: 240

Re: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?

Given everything you're saying, it does sounds right now like figuring out what the safe, sustainable (even if only in the short term) housing options you have is probably the thing to prioritize. Is your current situation safe for you? And have you been able to talk with whoever is providing it abo...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 20, 2024 11:48 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: can't finger myself. vaginismus?
Replies: 3
Views: 208

Re: can't finger myself. vaginismus?

Got it. So, someone can have a visit with an OB-GYN even if they're not sexually active. There's nothing in the exam they can't do unless someone has done a certain sexual activity; and I did check, I'm not finding any indication that your age would prevent you from having that care in your country....
by Sam W
Tue Feb 20, 2024 10:42 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?
Replies: 12
Views: 240

Re: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?

Hi Ayn 534, In some ways, the question in the title of this post has the most straightforward answer. If this abuse occurred before the age of five, it would be something that would be difficult for you to remember, period, because our ability to remember things from early childhood is extremely lim...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 20, 2024 7:34 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Overshare?
Replies: 2
Views: 151

Re: Overshare?

Hi FullOfQuestions, It's actually super common for folks to get excited to find a space where they can talk and ask questions openly about sex, so you're certainly not alone in that. And as long as posts follow the guidelines everyone agrees to when they make an account, folks are allowed to share a...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 19, 2024 2:11 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Coming out
Replies: 15
Views: 1170

Re: Coming out

You're very welcome, and I'm so glad we were able to talk with you and offer some help!
by Sam W
Mon Feb 19, 2024 2:09 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Am I masturbating correctly?
Replies: 1
Views: 114

Re: Am I masturbating correctly?

Hi Cookiemonster, The good news is there isn't really a "wrong" way to masturbate; there's just the way (or ways) that feel best to each person. It sounds like how you're doing it currently feels good to you, so there's no need to switch to inserting your fingers, especially if inserting t...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 19, 2024 8:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: clothing as a barrier
Replies: 1
Views: 96

Re: clothing as a barrier

Hi naurmi008, Yep, clothing acts as a barrier against pregnancy during manual sex as well, for the same reasons it acts as one during dry humping. Too, manual sex the way it usually happens doesn't pose a risk of pregnancy; theoretically, rubbing the vulva with a hand that recently touched semen--an...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 19, 2024 8:14 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]
Replies: 12
Views: 1562

Re: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]

Hi PotatoTheCatfox, So, we can certainly continue offering support here, but there are some things that I think we need to get clear before we do. The first is that I'm going to set a limit on you saying things that frame you and your existence as a thing that's inherently a problem, doubly so if yo...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 17, 2024 11:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't seem to finish
Replies: 5
Views: 158

Re: Can't seem to finish

Got it. I thought it might be the case that you actually were experiencing orgasm somewhere in there and that's why it was switching to painful, but it doesn't sound like that's likely the case. When you hit that point of the vibrator being too intense, have you tried switching to another form of st...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 17, 2024 11:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Condom knowledge
Replies: 1
Views: 74

Re: Condom knowledge

Hi John, Are you and your girlfriend up to date on your STI testing? Because that will help you determine what your STI risk is more generally. And yes, from what you're describing, this sounds like it would be indirect contact pre-ejaculate, which does not pose a risk of pregnancy. However, in the ...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 17, 2024 10:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: STI and sexual stuff in porn actors
Replies: 1
Views: 81

Re: STI and sexual stuff in porn actors

Hi mika.m The basic answer is that porn performers use a few different approaches to decrease the chances of STI transmission, and they're basically the same things anybody else does. Some performers decide they only want to do shoots where barriers like condoms and dental dams are used. But there i...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 17, 2024 10:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't seem to finish
Replies: 5
Views: 158

Re: Can't seem to finish

Hi riblark,

When you hit that point where it goes from pleasurable to painful, does it feel like there's been any kind of release at all, or like you notice your arousal going down after you hit that point?
by Sam W
Sat Feb 17, 2024 9:14 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]
Replies: 12
Views: 1562

Re: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]

In addition to what Latha said, I want to hone in on this sentence: "No matter how careful I am about consent there's always something I'm doing to make people uncomfortable". If you are trying to learn from what's happened and find ways to not repeat the pattern in the future, figuring ou...
by Sam W
Fri Feb 16, 2024 2:04 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: is it still SA with no penetration or nudity?
Replies: 9
Views: 9191

Re: is it still SA with no penetration or nudity?

I'm glad to hear that this sounds like a workable plan to you, and that your family has your back (and it sounds like at least some of them are willing to warn you ahead of time so you can avoid this person).
by Sam W
Fri Feb 16, 2024 8:38 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: can't finger myself. vaginismus?
Replies: 3
Views: 208

Re: can't finger myself. vaginismus?

Hi Lyle Lanley,

Have you been able to talk with a healthcare provider about this and have an exam done? They'd be able to help you work put if there's an underlying cause, like Vaginismus, and give you some context for what you're feeling when you do insert a finger.
by Sam W
Fri Feb 16, 2024 7:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Coming out
Replies: 15
Views: 1170

Re: Coming out

I'm glad you've been able to start therapy to get some support in dealing with any underlying shame, that's a great step in terms of taking care of yourself! If you have a chance, I think talking with your therapist about what to do if your parents react with disgust is a good plan, just so you have...
by Sam W
Fri Feb 16, 2024 7:40 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]
Replies: 12
Views: 1562

Re: I need someone to either embrace this flesh or [edited]

Can you say a little more about what acting lustfully means in this instance? Because depending on what that means, there may actually be ways to address it or adjust your behavior, including ways that don't require therapy if that's inaccessible to you. Too, if therapy is something you want to purs...

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