Search found 7175 matches

by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:59 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Seeking out information/where to go from here
Replies: 3
Views: 55

Re: Seeking out information/where to go from here

Hi Lucy4, Since it sounds like asexuality doesn't feel like the right term for you, do you feel like a term like "celibate" fits better? And for you, is it that you experience sexual desire but have no interest in ever acting on it or on ever pursuing dates? Or is it more that there's no d...
by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:21 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can you know someone had oral sex by their smell?
Replies: 1
Views: 31

Re: Can you know someone had oral sex by their smell?

Hi YellowPamonha, Nope, there is not a specific smell that oral sex leaves in the mouth that another person could use to "prove" that's what they'd been doing (too, if you use a condom, there's no fluids passing into your mouth to leave a smell, period). Not to mention that if you brush yo...
by Sam W
Tue May 24, 2022 7:15 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Am I really a lesbian?
Replies: 1
Views: 46

Re: Am I really a lesbian?

Hi anonymous13234, Nice to see you again! And I'm glad to hear you're in a better place, mental health-wise. Since you've been doing a lot of reading and soul searching, you might already know that our fantasies don't always represent the desires we have for our actual selves; there's just something...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Crush
Replies: 4
Views: 85

Re: Crush

You're very welcome! And I think that's a totally sound reason not to want to act on a crush right now. In terms of conversation, do you think it would help to think of some topics you have in common ahead of time that you could talk about? It can also help to focus on asking genuine follow-up quest...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?
Replies: 3
Views: 123

Re: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?

Hi brungerbulb, So, while it certainly sounds like consuming this content influenced you, being influenced by something isn't the same as being harmed by it. And from the sound of it, you still think really positively of this content and some of the ideas it introduced you to. There's nothing wrong ...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 8:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Crush
Replies: 4
Views: 85

Re: Crush

Hi hiImcrocheting, If this is someone you knew in person, have a lot in common with, and who seems really supportive of you, it makes a lot of sense that you'd develop a crush on them! While some people tend to only get crushes on people they see in person, plenty of people end up with crushes in lo...
by Sam W
Sat May 21, 2022 7:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can changing routine cause a late period
Replies: 1
Views: 53

Re: Can changing routine cause a late period

Hi Lovelly_Kayyy, Periods can be late for a lot of reasons, including things like stress (which it sounds like you've been dealing with quite a bit of). If you take a look at this article, you can see if there are other reasons that might apply to your situation: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period? .
by Sam W
Fri May 20, 2022 7:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Urination With Erection Often Hurts After Masturbation
Replies: 4
Views: 117

Re: Urination With Erection Often Hurts After Masturbation

Hi Thoughtful1, While some people with penises experience some discomfort peeing after masturbation or sex due to rubbing and friction, pain can also be a sign of infection or other issues. Since we can't say for certain what's causing it, I recommend checking in with a healthcare provider to see if...
by Sam W
Fri May 20, 2022 7:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Difficult in using vaginal capsule
Replies: 1
Views: 68

Re: Difficult in using vaginal capsule

Hi Linda, So, to start out with, being a virgin isn't the main cause of this issue; virginity is an idea, not a physical state, and someone who's had vaginal sex lots of times could have the same issues inserting this that you are. If you want to learn more about virginity, this is a great starting ...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 46
Views: 3420

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

Hi MusicNerd, I'm sorry to hear this ended in a break-up since you were feeling so positive about it. That can be such a rough feeling, even when you know it may be the best option given where your ex is in terms of their own emotional journey. I think it's really sound of you to recognize that you'...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:11 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: how does one apply lube?
Replies: 1
Views: 55

Re: how does one apply lube?

Hi electricswitch, This is an instance where I would say the fanfiction you're reading is pretty accurate! Lube needs to be applied whenever something--be that fingers, a sex toy, a penis, etc-- is inserted into the anus. So applying it to both the fingers and the penis in those scenes is an accurat...
by Sam W
Tue May 17, 2022 7:04 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is there something wrong with me
Replies: 7
Views: 258

Re: Is there something wrong with me

Okay, so that's likely why masturbation isn't feeling like much for you. A helpful next step would be to explore different ways of connecting with your arousal and fantasies. How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms. Do you see some things in that article you could try?
by Sam W
Mon May 16, 2022 7:34 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 73
Views: 960

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

I think you're already doing a big part of it, which is acknowledging that this just isn't something she's likely to take responsibility for, and that you don't need her to completely agree with your version of the break-up for it to have been the right choice. It may be that part of you is hoping f...
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 10:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: tw sexual assault
Replies: 5
Views: 119

Re: tw sexual assault

You're so welcome, and I'm glad we're able to help you out with that language! In addition to getting support here, if it would help we could also talk about how to broaden your support network so you feel like you're not alone in navigating all this.
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 9:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: tw sexual assault
Replies: 5
Views: 119

Re: tw sexual assault

Talking about this kind of stuff is hard, so it's absolutely okay if you're not sure how to articulate things or if there are things you aren't ready to discuss. We're here to support you, and that means letting you take things at the pace that's comfortable for you. What you're describing absolutel...
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 9:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: tw sexual assault
Replies: 5
Views: 119

Re: tw sexual assault

Hi Sawyer, Words like abuse or assault can feel intimidating to use, and unfortunately we live in a culture that still very much minimizes the experiences of survivors and encourages them to see what happened as "not counting" as assault. Do you want to talk a little bit about what you wen...
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 8:15 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 73
Views: 960

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

I think those are all incredibly wise things to know about yourself about the control you do, or don't, have over the future. If there are ever kinds of support or information we can provide to help you navigate those future relationships, we're happy to help you out.
by Sam W
Sun May 15, 2022 8:07 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: My gf never masterbated and watching porn didn't arouse her
Replies: 2
Views: 97

Re: My gf never masterbated and watching porn didn't arouse her

Hi wolf009, I wouldn't take this is a sign she's asexual; it sounds like she's both interested in sex in general and with you, specifically. It's pretty common for people to find they're more turned on by their own fantasies than by porn. After all, we can generate our fantasies to fit our exact des...
by Sam W
Sat May 14, 2022 9:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: broke up with my bf
Replies: 5
Views: 215

Re: broke up with my bf

It can definitely take some time to adjust to being single after you've been with a partner for awhile. I think there are a few different things you can do with that emotion. One is to really focus on being there for yourself and even "dating" yourself: How To Actually Date Yourself . Afte...
by Sam W
Sat May 14, 2022 8:48 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 73
Views: 960

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

It sounds like you're doing a lot of self-reflection right now, and I'm glad you're able to talk through a lot of it in therapy. I agree with your therapist that it's sound to recognize that your ex had a lot going on, and a lot of unaddressed things, that were going to rear their heads at some poin...
by Sam W
Sat May 14, 2022 8:11 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Weightgain kink
Replies: 5
Views: 210

Re: Weightgain kink

Hi amysands176, Since you're finding the idea of weight gain--or changes in your weight more generally--something that you're really fixating on, can I ask if you're seeing a therapist, or if you've ever accessed mental healthcare in the past? I ask because that level of fixation--not the fantasies ...
by Sam W
Fri May 13, 2022 10:32 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: broke up with my bf
Replies: 5
Views: 215

Re: broke up with my bf

I'm glad you have family support right now! And I think it's sound on your part to recognize this might take some time to recover from. Are there some kind or distracting things you can do for yourself this weekend?
by Sam W
Fri May 13, 2022 7:07 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: I don't know how to be a girl/woman?
Replies: 3
Views: 136

Re: I don't know how to be a girl/woman?

Hi ndisg,

Out of curiosity, what feminine traits do you think are cool and would like to have? And when you think about the ways in which you might be different from your peers, what about that makes you sad?
by Sam W
Fri May 13, 2022 6:57 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: broke up with my bf
Replies: 5
Views: 215

Re: broke up with my bf

Hi lycheefan, Break-ups can be so rough, even if they're ones that we know were ultimately for the best. I really like the recommendations this article makes for how to get through those periods where a break-up is doing a number on you: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking . Do you h...

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