Search found 6737 matches

by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 12:50 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Teen sexually attracted to predatory adults
Replies: 3
Views: 109

Re: Teen sexually attracted to predatory adults

Hi mondilebel, I'm glad the resources Urna provided are proving helpful! I hope you continue exploring them and, if you haven't already done so, look into working with a counselor or support group that specializes in working survivors of sexual abuse. I also want to pass on this resource, which is a...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 12:40 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Caught Masturbating
Replies: 3
Views: 42

Re: Caught Masturbating

You're welcome! And it really depends on your mom; if you think she'll at worst be embarrassed or awkward, then telling the truth might be the less stressful way to go. But you could also say something fairly non-specific, like you were adjusting your swimsuit and she walked in at a weird moment.
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 12:24 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
Replies: 19
Views: 695

Re: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness

Those are definitely fears I've heard people have, and sometimes had myself, around taking time for self care or for simply enjoying myself. There are a few different approaches to those thoughts, and you might find some or all of them helpful. One is to remind yourself that we're all deserving of c...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 12:10 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: GF is ace, unsure of what to do
Replies: 17
Views: 283

Re: GF is ace, unsure of what to do

Hi Spider_Queen, Everything you're describing makes a lot of sense. I will say that, even for folks who do stay friends with their exes, there's usually a break period between ending the romantic relationship and re-starting the friendship; as you're discovering, when the break-up is still fresh and...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 11:51 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Clitoral stimulation feels overwhelming
Replies: 1
Views: 22

Re: Clitoral stimulation feels overwhelming

Hi foottaps, It sounds like you and your boyfriend are doing a great job communicating about all this when you're together, which is awesome! While some folks find they really enjoy clitoral stimulation, others find it's too intense or painful, or that they can only enjoy it for short stretches befo...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 8:36 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Caught Masturbating
Replies: 3
Views: 42

Re: Caught Masturbating

Hi kokoPeg, Oof, that can be such an embarrassing feeling although, as you point out, there's a chance she didn't even notice what was going on. I think, in this instance, it's okay to pretend like nothing happened for now, especially since she isn't bringing it up, and figure that you've learned th...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 8:18 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
Replies: 19
Views: 695

Re: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness

Hi kokopeg, Thanks for those details, that's all really helpful! I'm so sorry you ran across such a hateful thread; if it helps to hear, every word of that description of trans women was utter trash and can go straight in the garbage. I know there are folks out there who like to claim trans women's ...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 29, 2021 8:03 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: What am I?
Replies: 1
Views: 17

Re: What am I?

Hi CryptidLoser24 , Feeling unsure about your sexual orientation and gender identity can be stressful, so let's see if we can untangle some of what you're feeling so that it's less so! With your sexual orientation, it may help to know that lot's of bi folks experience attraction to different genders...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:02 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Books on reproduction
Replies: 7
Views: 157

Re: Books on reproduction

I hope you find the book helpful and informative! Since you're prioritizing your mental health, I do want to point you towards some of the resources here: Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources . The helpline would give you a place to find interim support while you look for more formal mental hea...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 23, 2021 1:13 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: boyfriend issue?
Replies: 13
Views: 293

Re: boyfriend issue?

You're right that shock could certainly be playing a role; when people find out someone the like or trust is capable of abuse, it can be really jarring. But at a certain point, her feelings about it need to be something she manages on her own, rather than making you deal with. Just in the same way h...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 23, 2021 12:52 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: reliving old problems
Replies: 7
Views: 149

Re: reliving old problems

You're very welcome! And I would definitely talk to your dad to see if the two of you can use the fact you're in not just an unwanted, but unsafe, living space to expedite the process. Custody agreements can be tricky, but in most cases their are ways to get young people out of unsafe situations soo...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 22, 2021 11:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: reliving old problems
Replies: 7
Views: 149

Re: reliving old problems

Those are some serious safety protocols, and I'm glad they're in place. Do you have a sense of how soon you'll be able to get out of the house permanently? All those emotions you're describing make total sense; feeling unsafe or limited in your home, and having those intense fear reactions to someon...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 22, 2021 9:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: reliving old problems
Replies: 7
Views: 149

Re: reliving old problems

I'm glad your dad is taking this seriously and taking the steps to get you out of there as soon as possible. You and he may also want to look into the laws about what age a child starts having the ability to choose which parent to stay with; it may be that you're old enough to have a say in this, an...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly
Replies: 9
Views: 188

Re: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly

I hope the other links are helpful!

You mentioned the hotline calling in the police previously; did they ever tell you why that happened or what policy was behind it?
by Sam W
Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:19 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Plan B while on the pill
Replies: 3
Views: 100

Re: Plan B while on the pill

Hi JuliaGallo,

That depends on the specific test you buy and its directions for when and how to test. You can read more about that here: Peeing on a Stick: All About Pregnancy Tests
by Sam W
Mon Nov 22, 2021 8:13 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: reliving old problems
Replies: 7
Views: 149

Re: reliving old problems

Hi ceciliaxe, I'm glad you feel safe and supported posting here! Those feelings you're describing make a lot of sense, and I'm so sorry that your step brother made that choice to hurt you. One thing that can happen is, if one abusive person tries to groom us into seeing certain behaviors as normal o...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 10:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I am mentally deteriorating
Replies: 5
Views: 109

Re: I am mentally deteriorating

You're very welcome! And I hope the visit to the GP goes well!
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 10:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I am mentally deteriorating
Replies: 5
Views: 109

Re: I am mentally deteriorating

I'm glad that's helpful to hear! I'm a firm believer in keeping going, even when things are awful, and I genuinely believe things do get better. But I also think it helps to acknowledge just how much suckiness we sometimes have to deal with on the way to being okay, and to admit than when you're in ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 9:51 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I not sure what happened
Replies: 9
Views: 188

Re: I not sure what happened

I can absolutely understand why that approach to therapy didn't do much, especially if it wasn't coupled with more concrete tools for addressing feelings of depression or treated the fact your were groomed as something about you that needed fixing. I mentioned in my other post some resources that mi...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 9:22 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I am mentally deteriorating
Replies: 5
Views: 109

Re: I am mentally deteriorating

miskosou, It sounds like you're dealing with some pretty serious depression, which is only being compounded by the fact your parents either don't take your struggles seriously or dismiss and blame you when you try to get help. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that on top of everything else. So, what...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 9:03 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I not sure what happened
Replies: 9
Views: 188

Re: I not sure what happened

You're not being dramatic; as far as I can see, you're having a completely understandable reaction to someone violating your boundaries in a big way and people who should have your best interests in mind telling you it was no big deal. Can you tell me what kind of help you've gotten in the past and ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:49 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly
Replies: 9
Views: 188

Re: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly

Can I ask what about the previous therapist was unhelpful? And if you want, we can talk about ways for you to access a therapist or other mental health resources who might be more helpful for you, and that you might be able to access without your mom acting as gatekeeper. I'm going to echo everyone ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I not sure what happened
Replies: 9
Views: 188

Re: I not sure what happened

If it helps to know, we (and most other places, including the law) define sexual assault as "doing something sexual to someone who does not want that done to them." So, by that definition, what he did can be considered sexual assault (and the fact he was drunk matters not one bit; lots of ...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 19, 2021 9:23 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Celebrating Small Victories
Replies: 3
Views: 103

Celebrating Small Victories

Success of any kind is feeling pretty hard-won for a lot of us these last two years. But even without pandemic conditions, sometimes it's the little things in life that can feel like big victories. So, this is a thread for sharing accomplishments that might look small from the outside (cleaned your ...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 18, 2021 11:05 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Concerned about my friend
Replies: 4
Views: 106

Re: Concerned about my friend

You're welcome! And I'm glad both she and you are in better places.

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