Search found 6880 matches

by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 165
Views: 4279

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hi Sky, I'm not letting the other post through since it's that negative self-talk we've set boundaries around before. While I don't think it's always true that the time we want to quit therapy is the time we need it most (sometimes an approach just isn't meeting our needs), I think your therapist is...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:12 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Masterbating
Replies: 114
Views: 2769

Re: Masterbating

Pre-ejaculate is a fluid that the penis usually emits with or around erection and before ejaculation, sometimes more than once.
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:49 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friend
Replies: 16
Views: 496

Re: Friend

I want to kind of zero in on two things that jumped out at me when I was reading your responses. One is that habit of over apologizing. I think it's something a lot of us do, especially if we're prone to being anxious to feeling down on ourselves. A tool that I've found helpful for that is actually ...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help.. I can’t feel anything.
Replies: 5
Views: 198

Re: Help.. I can’t feel anything.

It's not wrong to say that women deal with oppression and certain kinds of day to day crap in ways that men don't. And it's not wrong to say that having a uterus presents a unique set of challenges. But I think, in the long run, thinking of it as a curse is mostly just going to make you feel crummy ...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 19
Views: 661

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

I'm going to be a little blunt okay? I think this is not a healthy relationship, and I think you start making plans to leave as soon as you can. Part of why I say that is because it's clear that this guy doesn't want a partner; he wants someone he can boss around and control (which, quite frankly, i...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:47 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Good sex-positive books for teens
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: Good sex-positive books for teens

You're so very welcome! And hopefully a few other folks will have some they can add here so you can make this section even more awesome.
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 1:03 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 19
Views: 661

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

So, if you want to leave a relationship, that's a unilateral decision. It only takes on person to break up. He can think it's a bad reason as much as he wants, but he can't just keep you in a relationship you want to leave. If you tried to leave, or even asked for a break to think things over, do yo...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 12:28 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 19
Views: 661

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

What if I said that being with someone who you cannot be out to is reason enough to break up? You deserve not only the chance to be out and live in the gender that feels right to you, but the chance to find a partner who you can be open with those things about. You can't find that with him, you know...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 12:21 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Good sex-positive books for teens
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: Good sex-positive books for teens

Got it! I have a few recommendations, and other staff and volunteers might have ones to add. I'd recommend ordering "Wait, What?" along with S.E.X; it's aimed at middle school readers, but can also be good to have on hand for teens with learning disabilities, who have English as a second l...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 12:06 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friend
Replies: 16
Views: 496

Re: Friend

All that detail is really helpful! I actually want to touch on those signs of physical affection. Did the two of you ever talk about them, including your specific comfort or feelings with being touched? And I have to say, while some people are extremely physically affectionate with friends, the kiss...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 11:51 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 19
Views: 661

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

It's okay! This is a really tricky topic to think about, especially when it's someone you care about it, so it's absolutely fine to say you don't know or ask us lots of questions. Can I ask how you and he started dating? The more context we have for this whole relationship, the better we can tailor ...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 11:42 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Good sex-positive books for teens
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: Good sex-positive books for teens

Hi Gigi976,

What a cool idea! Are you looking for non-fiction, fiction, or a mix of both? And what would you say the age range in the group is?
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:39 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 165
Views: 4279

Re: Just need some reassurance

Can I ask why? It sounds like your therapist was really supportive in that conversation you had and was advising you to not do things that would make you feel crummy just because you felt you had to.
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:15 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friend
Replies: 16
Views: 496

Re: Friend

Hi Theansweris42, nice to see you again! It's not all that surprising that this has been such a hard relationship transition to grieve; it sounds like it was very emotionally intense and like you formed a really strong connection with her. I think there are a few questions that might be helpful star...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help.. I can’t feel anything.
Replies: 5
Views: 198

Re: Help.. I can’t feel anything.

Hi Mosept, So, I think it might help to reframe how you're thinking about bodies: having a penis, anus, and testicles doesn't make someone more likely or more able to feel pleasure than a person with a clitoris, vagina, and labia (and an anus, since we all have those). All those places can experienc...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 9:51 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: BDSM at 14
Replies: 1
Views: 73

Re: BDSM at 14

Hi Hazel1111.Angel, If it helps to know, you're far from the only young person who's interested in BDSM; if you poke around the boards, you'll see quite a few people who are also wondering how to safely explore it as minors. Do you find getting really into a fantasy helps with that frustration you f...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 9:44 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: can I fix my low libido or is it just not possible?
Replies: 1
Views: 81

Re: can I fix my low libido or is it just not possible?

Hi strawberrysyrup, It's not that unusual for our libido to have periods where it's higher and lower, in part because so many things can influence it. It may be that the hormonal things you're seeing the doctor for are playing a role, or that could be one factor of several. Have there been any big c...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 9:37 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 19
Views: 661

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

Hi Waterhyacinth, So, while he may not be abusive in big ways, some of the things you're describing to us are big red flags; the discouraging you from seeing your friends, the jealousy, the stopping you from telling your family about your relationship. The jealousy and trying to isolate you from fri...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 18, 2022 10:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 165
Views: 4279

Re: Just need some reassurance

Do you have a sense of why those scenes made you uncomfortable? If you're thinking about being sexual, have you gone back to the post Heather made up-thread about the considerations you need to make about your physical and emotional health when being sexual? Do you feel ready to take those things in...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 1:12 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1572

Re: Unwanted crush

I'm glad I'm helping you feel that way! I know it can be tough to talk about the rougher parts of ourselves! I'm actually curious about that pattern you've noticed where you feel worse when you find someone to complain to about things. Do you feel that way because you feel like you're somehow doing ...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 1:06 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Queer affirming therapist
Replies: 4
Views: 164

Re: Queer affirming therapist

That does sound like a promising lead! That's a good question about trauma informed care! So, yes, in theory all therapy should come from a trauma informed approach. But for a long time, a lot of therapeutic practices on both an individual and institutional level didn't really structure themselves t...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 8:55 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1572

Re: Unwanted crush

Hi Theansweris42, It's totally okay to process or vent all those feelings here; sometimes it can be really helpful to just get everything out, even if it's jumbled. And honestly, you've been really responsive to our advice here, so even if we're not finding solutions right away, or you're still stru...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 8:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I doing this right?
Replies: 1
Views: 80

Re: Am I doing this right?

Hi Tessa707 To start out with, if what you're doing during masturbation feels good, then I'd say it's right in the sense it's the right thing for you! Something we often encourage users to do is to focus less on the "goal" of orgasm and more on just what feels good, since that tends to tak...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 17, 2022 8:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Feeling Uncomfortable Post-Orgasm
Replies: 7
Views: 249

Re: Feeling Uncomfortable Post-Orgasm

You're so very welcome!

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