You're very welcome!

I'm a big fan of the five senses one Michaela mentioned! I've also found that working with animals (either my pets or at a shelter) tends to be really grounding, because I have to be so focused on them instead of being up in my head (I used to joke that one of the shelter dogs was my mindfulness coa...

Hi Raffles, Ugh, I'm sorry that people's responses to you stating a boundary is to immediately make the sound. That really isn't a you problem, none of the boundaries you've listed are. An annoying fact of life is that lots of people see boundaries as something to push, or as things they can disrega...

Hi Theansweris42, On the practical side, I do want to say that if the interaction between your mood issues and your cycle persist, or hit a point where they just do not feel manageable for you, there are things you can try, or work with a healthcare provider on trying, that can help mitigate the int...

You're welcome! If you're noticing the usual way of masturbating isn't doing as much for you, you may find so of the advice in these two pieces helpful: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition , Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation . Too, because out brains are our biggest sexual organ, finding some ne...

Got it. So, what feels good during masturbation is actually pretty variable, so while your friends may find doing things with their fingers feels good to them, there are plenty of people out there with experiences similar to yours. In a similar vein, how people give and receive pleasure from a partn...

Hi confused_af, So, you're already doing one of the main things we recommend, which is continuing to experiment with different ways of masturbating to figure out which ones feel good to your body. Since every body is different, that's really the best way to go about it. Can I ask why you want to fin...

Heather's statement on Scarleteen's work in the wake of the Dobbs decision: https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather ... fter_dobbs

Hi intjtechno, Gender feelings, trauma, and desire can certainly create a bit of a tangle sometimes, and it's not all that strange to have conflicting feelings about wanting a partner. To start with, can I ask what being hypersexual means in this instance? And are you on T as part of your transition...

Hi Lovergirl95, Part of what may be going on is that, past about the first third, the vaginal canal isn't all that sensitive. That's why a lot of people find clitoral stimulation does way more for them in terms of pleasure than inserting things into the vaginal canal does. If you're curious, you can...

You know, I wonder if introducing nonsexual touch that you enjoy into the times when you're fantasizing might be a way to bring a physical component into the mix that actually feels nice. Does that seem like something you could experiment with?

Okay! I would start by checking out this list of resources for the L.A area to see which ones might be the most accessible to you or offer services that you need: https://laccw.lacounty.gov/publications ... ing-hands/.

Have you been able to take the test yet?

Hi Mcjupiter,

Thank you for the update, and I'm so glad that you've found an identity that feels right to you!

Hi Wan, No, semen will not be able to get into the vagina. For starters, any semen that possibly made it to his mouth would likely be wiped away or washed away by things like eating, drinking, or just swallowing saliva. But more than that, even if did make it's way from the mouth to the vagina or vu...

I'm glad my response made you feel at least a little better! Since it sounds like you don't have a ton of supports, do you want to talk about reaching out to local organizations that might offer supports for survivors? That way you'd have people in addition to us who could be there for you. I'm sorr...

I get that in a big way. Do you want to use this space here to brainstorm how to ask in a way that works for you?

I think reminding him that this is about needing a step back instead of not having wanted sex at the time was a sound way to present it. I totally understand not wanting to add more stress to your parents lives, especially if it's been a rough year for your family. But it may help to remember that j...

Hi LanaChelya, This sounds like an incredibly stressful and alarming situation, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it (though I'm glad to hear you've stayed away from the place since this incident; that's a great step in terms of protecting yourself). In terms of moving past this incident, can you...

Hi Raffles, Yep, the screening guidelines for Pap smears were changed up last year, so that may have been what she was referring to (I don't love the gendered language but the ACOG has a good overview of those new guidelines if you're every curious: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/cervical-c...

Hi Nonnie, Thank you for those details, they're really helpful! It sounds like overstimulation may be playing a role here, which makes sense given how you're describing your experiences with touch overall. When you think about non-sexual touches or physical sensations (like taking a bath, brushing y...

Hi coppersof, I'm glad you're finding this space helpful! You know, something that's really helpful when we're learning how to be sexual (however that looks for us) is learning to let go of "should." Because, barring really basic things like consent, there's not one, specific way that sex ...

Hi waterhyacinth, I would push to stay in therapy a bit longer if you can; it's not an instantaneous process, and as you've probably noticed it can take a session or two to even start digging into stuff. Too, progress in therapy often looks like small changes from the outside, so if your mom is expe...

Hi Umbreon, So, part of this may be about expectations; while masturbation can feel super intense for some people, for others it can feel pretty mild, and for most people how it feels will actually vary from instance to instance, because a lot of things can influence are experience of pleasure. When...

Hi Leastyto,

If you haven't seen it yet, this article offers a bunch of suggestions for how to safely D.I.Y sex toys from things you might have around the house or might be able to get a hold of yourself: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

Hi bingus!!!, Part of what might be causing the confusion is that female ejaculation and squirting are actually synonyms, not different things. So what you're noticing when you orgasm may in fact be ejaculation. If you haven't seen it yet, this article does a good job breaking down what squirting is...