Search found 7452 matches

by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 11:18 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.
Replies: 3
Views: 42

Re: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.

Hi gizmoX, I just wanted to chime in with a few additional points! When it comes to the actual conversations, I think a good first step would be to have a check-in where you both have space to say how you're feeling about this whole thing. That could include what parts of it you're comfortable with ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 13
Views: 441

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, That's helpful information, thank you! One thing to consider is that it's very unlikely that a therapist, including a sex therapist, is going to approach this issue through the lens of "ridding" you of that particular sexual interest. However, from what you said up-thread, it may b...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:14 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse
Replies: 1
Views: 26

Re: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse

Hi Cal, I'm so glad the site has been helpful for you over the years! Realizing that something from your past was abusive or traumatic can be so incredibly rough, and I'm so sorry that your friend chose to hurt you in those ways. Since both the past abuse and these new thought patterns are causing y...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 259

Re: help with masturbation?

I'm glad you're seeing a mental health professional for some extra support! I've been looking around to see if there's any research into panic attacks happening during masturbation, and I did find this article that suggests this isn't something only you are dealing with. Does anything in it feel lik...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:09 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 259

Re: help with masturbation?

Are there any relaxation techniques that tend to help you during panic attacks at other times? I ask because I wonder if incorporating those into masturbation, or using them when you start to notice the tension switching into the shut down mode might head off those feelings of panic.
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 9:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 259

Re: help with masturbation?

Got it, those details are all really helpful! One thing that could possibly be at play is that some people can find the tension build-up that tends to happen very, very close to orgasm is so overwhelming that they pull back from it. Do you think that could be happening here? Too, do you ever experie...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:30 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 147

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

We're always ready to read what folks post here, even if it feels jumbled on your end! I'm wondering if one possible way to approach this is by making this a series of conversations you two have together, rather than you trying to figure this all out on your own and then communicate it to her in one...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 259

Re: help with masturbation?

Hi arrivederci, That sounds like a really frustrating thing to experience! Is there any pattern to what tends to cause that tension and panic? For instance, do you notice it happening if your thoughts drift a certain way, or if your body registers a certain sensation? Too, does it feel like the shut...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 147

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

Hi Lee1234, So, it sounds like there might be a few things happening here that are getting tangled up and making this even harder for you to sort out. I think there are a few starting places that might help us untangle it. Let's start with that feeling scared to say what you want. When you think abo...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:16 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: porn sucks
Replies: 2
Views: 113

Re: porn sucks

Hi dreaminglucid, So, there are plenty of people out there who don't like porn, period, so you're not alone in that. There are also plenty of people out there who do enjoy it, but have found that what they enjoy is porn that's not made by mainstream companies and is instead made by women or queer fo...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:06 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Are women who sexual pictures of themselves on social media perpetuate the idea that is okay for men to enjoy the view
Replies: 4
Views: 144

Re: Are women who sexual pictures of themselves on social media perpetuate the idea that is okay for men to enjoy the v

Hi Rave, So, as Mo said, I think a helpful thing to bring to your grandfather is the fact that feminists are not a single group with one set of opinions. There's a huge variety in terms of the ways people interpret feminism for themselves, and some of those ways do include telling individual women n...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 18, 2022 9:12 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 4254

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Hi Mixxes, From the sound of it, your relationship with Lake may also be heading towards an end. Them saying things like they have no energy left for you and that they're "not built for serious conversations" seems to be them telling you where their priorities lie in terms of their relatio...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 18, 2022 8:36 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Coping with what happened
Replies: 1
Views: 112

Re: Coping with what happened

Hi Marvel1999, I want to start by echoing what Emily said in chat (we can see the history on our end because that helps us provide better support, and I wanted to make sure I was caught up on what you needed), that relying on substances to cope with things like trauma isn't ideal, especially because...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 17, 2022 9:07 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbation doesn't feel good, but in the future I am very interested in having sex and I'm worried I won't like it
Replies: 3
Views: 140

Re: Masturbation doesn't feel good, but in the future I am very interested in having sex and I'm worried I won't like it

Hi Kuriosity, It sounds like you've been doing a lot of experimentation and exploration around all this, which is a great step! Too, it sounds like you're getting some pleasure out of this, even if it's happening purely on the brain end of things, so you do get some positive sensations out of those ...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 17, 2022 8:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: masturbation questions
Replies: 5
Views: 1714

Re: masturbation questions

Hi Latte, I'm glad that was helpful! If you want to branch out and experiment with other fantasies or media to incorporate into masturbation, that's certainly something you can try! But if you've found things that feel good to your brain and body, then I think it's also okay to use those; I don't th...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 15, 2022 8:07 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that
Replies: 11
Views: 260

Re: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that

Hi Anne-26368, It can be so frustrating to feel like your body will only do what you want it to under super specific circumstances! Since it sounds like you've done quite a bit of experimenting, can I ask what happens if you only use an external vibrator, sleeve, or something else that focuses on ex...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 13
Views: 441

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, I'm sorry to hear that your therapist hasn't been super helpful around this. Can you say a little more about why you feel like those conversations haven't gone anywhere? Too, have you and your therapist ever worked on approaches or tools for addressing non-sexual thoughts or feelings that le...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:19 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Me and my girlfriend cant finish when we r with eachother
Replies: 1
Views: 104

Re: Me and my girlfriend cant finish when we r with eachother

Hi buggy3, It can certainly be frustrating to reach orgasm from something that you think should get you there. But an important thing to remember is there's single form of sexual stimulation that's going to lead to someone having an orgasm; what bodies enjoy is highly variable, not only from person ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 12, 2022 11:20 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Unpleasant bodily reaction to first ever anal penetration
Replies: 4
Views: 2076

Re: Unpleasant bodily reaction to first ever anal penetration

No worries! It's very possible that this was a one-off, weirdly intense reaction to being sensitive or really excited. If you try anal stimulation again and the same thing happens, or you notice some or all of the symptoms cropping up at different times, then that could be a sign of an underlying is...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 11, 2022 7:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: What to do if condom breaks
Replies: 1
Views: 121

Re: What to do if condom breaks

Hi 55, Unless the condom literally ripped in half (which isn't the usual way condoms break), you wouldn't need to worry about getting pieces of it out of the vaginal canal. And even if it did, you would be able to remove the piece yourself without needing to go to a doctor for help. The concerns wit...
by Sam W
Fri Nov 11, 2022 7:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Penetration problem
Replies: 3
Views: 178

Re: Penetration problem

Hi Trance, Ouch, that sounds really unpleasant! Lube and arousal are big parts of making it easier to insert things into the vaginal canal, but they're not the only things that can contribute to painful intercourse. If you read through this article, do any of the other reasons listed feel like they ...
by Sam W
Thu Nov 10, 2022 8:48 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Unpleasant bodily reaction to first ever anal penetration
Replies: 4
Views: 2076

Re: Unpleasant bodily reaction to first ever anal penetration

Hi Jolly Bad Show, Ooof, that does sound like really intense and stressful bodily reaction. It's quite possible that this really is just your body having a weirdly out of proportion reaction to something, but I do have a few questions. You mention that at least some of the symptoms happen when you g...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 07, 2022 7:52 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Questions about IUD safety and BDSM
Replies: 1
Views: 2918

Re: Questions about IUD safety and BDSM

Hi skittyusesing, So, from what I'm finding in my searches and what we know about how IUDs interact with sex, I'm comfortable saying that fisting isn't going to disrupt or damage the IUD, especially if the strings have been cut short. IUDs are able to stay in place during things like rough sex or se...

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