Scarleteen Boards

Hi Rin_Bin_Fin, In addition to everything Hypatia said, which I absolutely agree with, something else we can help you with right now is safety planning, since it sounds like this is an on-going threat. For instance, do you have any other places you can stay--with friends, trusted family--for at leas...

Hi _.jaasp._, You're already doing the main thing I'd suggest, which is letting yourself be curious and experiment with different ways of using the vibe! With a smaller, bullet-shaped vibe, your options are mainly going to be internal and external genital stimulation, although some people find that ...

Hi thebluestboy, There are a few different things that could be going on here, so let's see if we can narrow it down. When you tried this, were you using a lot of lube (if you're on T, this may be extra relevant since vaginal dryness is a side effect)? And how would you rate your overall arousal and...

Hi Dyoll, I think an important place to start with all this is that, while plenty of people realize their gender may be different or more complex than assumed in their teens or twenties (or even younger), there are also plenty of people who realize it much later on in life. So, feeling this way now ...

Hi staplesj_, It's great that you're going out of your way to educate yourself on how to be a good partner ahead of time! Here are a few resources from us that might help you out in different ways: 10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age) [/url] Hello, Sailor! How to Build,...

Hi SillyMcGoof_, In a addition to the great advice Hypatia gave, I want to toss this article your way that's all about how to feel more relaxed and navigate masturbation while at home: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality_etc/deep_cover_tips_for_managing_anxiety_or_privacy_worries_when_mastu...

Hi Crow,

I don't want to interrupt the conversation you and Nicole are having, but did want to let you know she's out for today and I've pinged her that you've responded!

Hi Anatole, This is an incredibly thoughtful question, and the fact you're already thinking about how to make sure partners (or, honestly, women who are friends or acquaintances) feel safe around you is a great place to start this conversation. The good news is that there are a growing number of con...

Hi burner234, So, you cannot be pregnant because you didn't do anything that posed a risk of pregnancy in the first place. If you want to read more about why that is, this is a good starting place: https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/clairep/2012/10/25/dry_humping_freakout. Since a pregnancy test doesn'...

Hi Crow, I think it's sound to realize that getting frustrated with a component of sex--including your own sexual responses--is likely to impede the pleasure you're already getting. I also think that wanting to know if partnered intercourse can feel even better for you, or going into a new instance ...

Hi liana421, As a quick point of clarification, a fetish is actually something, generally an object, that is required for someone to experience sexual arousal. I don't know if what you are talking about falls under that rubric, but I always try to share with people that "fetish" often mean...

Hi SillyMcGoof_, In terms of the HRT itself, you may be in a place where you still have a few years to decide; in a lot of places, if someone is under the age of 18 their only hormonal option will be to go on blockers, rather than start T. When the question of starting T does become more of an actua...

Hi hannn03, Nothing you're describing poses a risk of pregnancy. A big reason for that are that sperm are fragile and need specific conditions to have any chance of creating a pregnancy, conditions that just aren't present if they've been stuck in someone's clothes and then moved around on someone's...

I'm so glad you're finding that cutting him off is helping you out in those ways. I know you've done so much work to heal, and I'm so glad that you're continuing with that process, even through the tough patches.

Hi SadGuy123x, So, there are a few different things going on here, but I want to start by addressing what seems to be one of the biggest ones: the assumptions about gender. Here's the thing: human sexuality is so, incredibly diverse that saying things like "all women experience it this way"...

In terms of keeping them clean, if you can find something--a box, a bag, a large pencil case, etc--to keep them in, that can really cut down on how much gunk gets on them while they're being stored. Other than that, making sure to wash them before you use them is also just a good habit to get into i...

Hi SillyMcGoof_, In terms of the practical stuff, a lot of people will choose to use something like a pillow, blanket, or even just the bed itself. Really, you're looking for something that isn't going to bruise or otherwise cause pain or discomfort in your body, which why people opt for things that...

So, if you're not using condoms on the toys, or you're not using latex condoms, oil based lubes are often the easiest to D.I.Y, because they include things like Vaseline, olive oil, and baby oil, and other oils you can find around the house (you can read more about them here: Lube 101: A Slick Littl...

That's one of those things where you'll likely just have to search around a bit to see if you can find one (being mindful that you're not asking to join 18+ ones, and that you're joining spaces you're genuinely interested in). You could also try something like Meet Up, since the posts there tend to ...

Hi Ryan7755, In terms of latex-safe lube, you'll want to use either silicone or water-based lube and avoid anything oil-based, since oil-based lube can breakdown latex (this is more of a concern if you're having partnered sex with one, since there are far fewer risks if a condom breaks during mastur...

Hi staplesj_, So, there's nothing inherently wrong with having casual sex with a friend, or something like a friends with benefits relationship. Some people find those work really well for them, and if they're something you're interested in them we can certainly talk about how to pursue them. But be...

Hi Crow, You know, it sounds like you and your partner are on the right track when it comes to helping sex be enjoyable. That communication you're describing is key, and it's great that you two are learning to be more open with it! If you ever need extra tools for that, that's absolutely something w...

I do want to add that I think it's important to keep in mind that you're only thirteen. I don't say that to be dismissive, but more to point out that you, and your peers, are still at an age where you're just starting to think about or notice the things you might be sexually interested in. Exploring...

Hi staplesj_ , Since oral sex as a whole category does come with STI risks, you'll want to use either a condom or a dental dam for it, depending on the genitals involved. You can read all about those here: All the Barriers! All the Time! . When it comes to performing oral sex, the best thing you can...

Going off of what you've told us, it sounds like that's a really good step in terms of protecting your boundaries and well being. How are you feeling about cutting him off?