Search found 8330 matches

by Sam W
Tue Sep 26, 2023 7:13 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female
Replies: 21
Views: 347

Re: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female

If you've been feeling frustrated with how masturbation has been going, then taking a break--whether that's just for a few days or for a bit longer--might help just in terms of offering a reset. In terms of things to introduce into masturbation in the moment, I think this is a place where giving you...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 26, 2023 6:52 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I deal with being touch starved?
Replies: 11
Views: 231

Re: How do I deal with being touch starved?

I'm glad to hear you talked with your best friend! Even if it didn't result in what you were hoping for, you got practice asking for the kind of touch you're seeking and got important information about that friend's boundaries. I would for sure try asking other close friends; if nothing else, you no...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 26, 2023 6:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: struggle masterbating.. [ftm]
Replies: 3
Views: 73

Re: struggle masterbating.. [ftm]

Hi thatguyfr, With masturbation, there isn't really one, specific way that people are supposed to masturbate; it's one of those things where the way(s) people do it depend on the likes and dislikes of their bodies. If you're looking for some common ways people do masturbate, this article is a great ...
by Sam W
Mon Sep 25, 2023 7:20 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female
Replies: 21
Views: 347

Re: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female

Thanks for those details! You know, I think there may be a chance that what you're experiencing might be orgasm, particularly if it includes those involuntary contractions in and around the vagina. That would also explain the abruptness of the change from it feeling good to it feeling numb. You ment...
by Sam W
Mon Sep 25, 2023 6:59 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masterbation doesn't feel wonderful to me.
Replies: 12
Views: 337

Re: Masterbation doesn't feel wonderful to me.

Hi Rachel 1, So, with the advice both Heather and Jacob gave, they're not saying you should go your whole life without masturbating; they're saying that for right now, the way you're approaching this is causing you so much stress and also isn't producing the result you're hoping for, and so it's a g...
by Sam W
Sat Sep 23, 2023 10:07 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: male friend crushes on me
Replies: 5
Views: 163

Re: male friend crushes on me

Hi Lyle Lanley, You know, whether or not to block him is a call that's entirely up to you. If you feel like that's the way to remove the stress of this situation, then you get to set that boundary; you're not obligated to give him a final warning or anything like that. Too, if you're already noticin...
by Sam W
Sat Sep 23, 2023 7:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female
Replies: 21
Views: 347

Re: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female

Ah, okay, thank you for clarifying. My previous answer was based on you mentioning that you barely feel ant pleasure but that it feels better than nothing. With that "possessed" feeling, does there seem to be any pattern to what sets it off, or any signs that it's about to happen? For inst...
by Sam W
Fri Sep 22, 2023 7:38 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: My only fetish is being a burden - is there a way to condition yourself to like something else?
Replies: 3
Views: 89

Re: My only fetish is being a burden - is there a way to condition yourself to like something else?

Hi catsaregreat, It does sound like the overall dynamic with sex between you two isn't a great one; you feel like things are uneven and like you're not enjoying yourself, and they don't want to engage in the sexual things you actually do like. So I agree with you that ending the sexual element of th...
by Sam W
Thu Sep 21, 2023 7:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How much control do I have over who or what I find sexually attractive?
Replies: 1
Views: 72

Re: How much control do I have over who or what I find sexually attractive?

Hi CrazyBonobo, The tricky thing when we're talking about desire and attraction is that it's one of those things where there are a bunch of factors that likely contribute to it; our experiences, the messages we get from culture and media, the people we're exposed to, etc. And there's also the fact t...
by Sam W
Thu Sep 21, 2023 7:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i can’t touch myself and nothing feels good
Replies: 11
Views: 2147

Re: i can’t touch myself and nothing feels good

Hi florence23, You know, one period product isn't necessarily easier to use than another; that's one of those things where the ease of using it depends entirely on the individual person and their body. So, in your case, if nothing you're doing --not lube or position or tampon size--is making the pro...
by Sam W
Thu Sep 21, 2023 7:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Walking and creepy man
Replies: 1
Views: 64

Re: Walking and creepy man

Hi MindfulGoldfish, This sounds like a really scary moment, and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. And I hear you on that fear that if you tell people or ask for help, you'll be dismissed because they don't perceive the situation as anything to be worried about. It's very considerate of you to be th...
by Sam W
Thu Sep 21, 2023 6:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Hard to move on from him
Replies: 11
Views: 244

Re: Hard to move on from him

Got it. What if, as a first step, you sent him a pretty basic message saying that you miss spending time with him and would like to hang out. If you've already moved, that hangout might have to take the form of a call or something like that, but it would still give you two the chance to reconnect an...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 11:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: 18 and never orgasmed
Replies: 3
Views: 137

Re: 18 and never orgasmed

You know, it's totally okay to not have masturbated much (or at all, for that matter)! We each get to know and be comfortable with our bodies at our own pace. When it comes to that anxiety you feel, when you try to masturbate does it latch onto a particular topic, like feelings about your body or th...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 9:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Hard to move on from him
Replies: 11
Views: 244

Re: Hard to move on from him

Ah, okay, thank you for clarifying that. In your initial post, you mention missing him. If he's still in your life and you feel like the crush is in the past, is there something in particular that's getting in the way of connecting with him?
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 9:04 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: idk what to title this
Replies: 3
Views: 88

Re: idk what to title this

Okay! This series is a great starting place:
The Answers (for Now)
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 8:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Hard to move on from him
Replies: 11
Views: 244

Re: Hard to move on from him

Got it. There are a few different ways you could approach this, and they depend on what you feel would be the way to help those feelings subside. Do you think time is enough on it's own to let the crush fade? Or are you getting the sense that in order for it to go away, you might need to interact wi...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 8:08 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: having issues with swollen clitoris and loss of sensitivity
Replies: 7
Views: 168

Re: having issues with swollen clitoris and loss of sensitivity

Glad to hear you're seeking out support for the compulsive behavior, that's a great step in taking care of yourself! And yes, saying you notice dryness or other discomfort could be a good way of explaining what's going on to your mom. If you felt comfortable doing so, you could also just say you've ...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 7:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: More anxiety/mood swings during ovulation week?
Replies: 4
Views: 112

Re: More anxiety/mood swings during ovulation week?

You're welcome! And yes, I'd say being patient with yourself and with your emotions is the way to go. Although, if you notice the anxiety is linked to a particular thing, or like it's staying with you no matter what else is going on in your life, that might signal that there's something else that ne...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 7:06 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: 18 and never orgasmed
Replies: 3
Views: 137

Re: 18 and never orgasmed

Hi strawberry-pie, This kind of situation can be so frustrating! Although, as our boards demonstrate, it's a lot more common than people might think. In your case, it doe sound like anxiety may be playing a role; stress is one of the big barriers to arousal and pleasure, so if we're feeling a lot of...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 6:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: More anxiety/mood swings during ovulation week?
Replies: 4
Views: 112

Re: More anxiety/mood swings during ovulation week?

Hi sparklingstar, Some people can and do experience mood swings around the time of ovulation because of the hormonal fluctuation involved. But how we emotionally and psychologically experience ovulation, or any phase in our menstrual cycle varies not only from person to person but for a given person...
by Sam W
Tue Sep 19, 2023 6:37 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Hard to move on from him
Replies: 11
Views: 244

Re: Hard to move on from him

Hi carrotcake122,

Is this someone who's still in your life to some degree but you can't, or don't want to, pursue your crush on? Or did this friend leave your life entirely sometime in the recent past?
by Sam W
Mon Sep 18, 2023 1:14 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: having issues with swollen clitoris and loss of sensitivity
Replies: 7
Views: 168

Re: having issues with swollen clitoris and loss of sensitivity

Got it. If you notice it's not improving or is in fact getting worse, or there start to be other symptoms like pain, that would be a time to prioritize getting care. If you want to ask your mom about getting it looked at now or in the next few days, we can certainly talk about how to have that conve...
by Sam W
Mon Sep 18, 2023 11:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female
Replies: 21
Views: 347

Re: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female

Okay, with that in mind, one of my recommendations is to take some time to figure out what things bring you pleasure more generally. Those could be things that are mainly sensory, like smells, tastes, touches, etc, or they could be things that help you feel relaxed and happy mentally. I suggest that...
by Sam W
Mon Sep 18, 2023 8:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female
Replies: 21
Views: 347

Re: I can't masturbate, I'm a 19 year old female

Ah, I see. That could still be an instance where a sex toy could be helpful, if only because it can introduce some new or more intense stimulation into the mix. Up until the point when the numbness kicks in, would you say you're getting a lot of pleasure out of it? I ask because it may also help to ...

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