Scarleteen Boards

You're very welcome, and I'm glad it went okay! Is there anything else we can offer you support around right now?

This is a really good guide to how to go through a break-up, even if you're the one doing the breaking up: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking . With that fear of being alone, can you give me a sense of why you feel like ending this relationship would result in your being alone? Do y...

Hi CrazyDiamond156, When we're not feeling into or excited about a relationship and it's only been a month, that in and of itself is big indicator that that isn't the relationship for us and it would be a good idea to end it, regardless of the crush you have on someone else. If you're not feeling in...

Hi TodorokiLuv,

When you masturbate, would you say your brain is particularly engaged in what's going on and you feel pretty aroused? And do you generally masturbate because of a desire to, or because you feel like you "should" be masturbating?

Hi Jay27,

There are indeed non-latex dental dams. If you do some internet searching, it looks like there are a number of brands that would fit your needs.

Hi 55, It may help to think of it like this: when you first start a hormonal birth control method, it takes some time for the method to have the desired effect(s) on your body. Once the effects are in place, as long as you take the method according to the appropriate schedule, the effects stay in pl...

So, there are a few things to keep in mind with that idea that I think might help you frame all this in a way that doesn't put you in the path of people who might hurt you in some way. The first is that you're still young. I don't say that to be dismissive of how you feel or what you're experiencing...

One thing that could be at play here is that you're reacting to the increase in sex hormones that comes with arousal. We're not endocrinologists, so we can't speak too much to that option, but it's possible there's an underlying hormonal imbalance that becomes more noticeable when you're aroused. Wo...

Got it. Does this happen after orgasm only, or does it happen after masturbation regardless of whether you orgasm?

You're welcome!

That is good! Are there things that feel like they're missing from that kind of care that you're only able to get from these riskier interactions? Is it just the element of desire or are there other things as well?

You're welcome! You know, it can be tricky to try and over come disgust or repulsion to sensations; in some cases it's one of those things where we don't know why we can't stand a texture, we just can't. So while sometimes we can get over those feelings by, say, unpacking weird or shaming messages w...

Hi artistkitty,

Oof, that sounds uncomfortable! To make sure I'm understanding right, this is purely a physical sensation, and not tied to emotions you're having (like shame, guilt, etc)?

Hi lb07, That's I very understandable way to feel. But as you seem to know, it's also a dynamic that can, and often is, used by people who don't actually care about your well-being and just see you as a means of getting some kind of sexual gratification for themselves. So finding other ways to feel ...

Hi suomi, Do you have any ability to get latex gloves? Those would provide a barrier but also be safer to use than something like toilet paper, which could leave little pieces behind. Too, do you have any sense of where that feeling of disgust is coming from? Is it purely just about the texture or f...

You're so very welcome.

The first part in a three part series from Caitlyn Tivy: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abus ... ual_trauma

I speaking with your therapist about this is a sound next step in terms of taking care of yourself! If you want some help working out how to bring this all up, that's certainly something we can talk about. Too, do you feel like you have a lot of information on how to take risks, of any kind, safely ...

Hi suomi, I'm so sorry that person chose to do that to you. I want to start by saying that you are ultimately the one in control of how you choose to describe what happened; we can certainly give you our take on it, but you're the expert on your experiences and feelings. With all that in mind, this ...

Hi amyk, So, the important thing to focus on is that you've done one of the big things we recommend when people are having a pregnancy scare: you've taken pregnancy tests, and they've all come back negative. Which means you're not pregnant, regardless of all the other things you're noticing in your ...

Hi Pebblefeathers, Homecoming dates, or any date to high school dance, can for sure be a one time thing! In fact, I can think of several people I know personally who went to homecoming with a date who was a friend, and stayed a friend after they went. Now, all that being said, if you think or know t...

Hi lb07, I'm sorry that this person saw you opening up about the same thing you told us to and reacted by trying to pressure you into something sexual; that's such a gross thing to do, and I'm glad you were able to hold your boundaries and not send anything you weren't comfortable with. If nothing e...

Hi eliziaenlope, You know, our feelings aren't really "good" or "normal" in the way people tend to use those words; they just are. And more to the point, people can and do feel all kinds of ways about different sexual activities, and you're far from the first person to want to li...

If you've been feeling frustrated with how masturbation has been going, then taking a break--whether that's just for a few days or for a bit longer--might help just in terms of offering a reset. In terms of things to introduce into masturbation in the moment, I think this is a place where giving you...

I'm glad to hear you talked with your best friend! Even if it didn't result in what you were hoping for, you got practice asking for the kind of touch you're seeking and got important information about that friend's boundaries. I would for sure try asking other close friends; if nothing else, you no...