Search found 7467 matches

by Sam W
Tue Dec 06, 2022 8:02 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?
Replies: 8
Views: 122

Re: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?

You're very welcome!
by Sam W
Mon Dec 05, 2022 11:21 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?
Replies: 8
Views: 122

Re: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?

Hi Bethanie, I think in that case, it can help to remember that there's nothing bad or dirty about being turned on by your partner, even when there's nothing sexual going on. It's just a part of experiencing attraction to someone, and it doesn't somehow invalidate the choices you two are making abou...
by Sam W
Mon Dec 05, 2022 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Possible HiV exposure
Replies: 12
Views: 327

Re: Possible HiV exposure

Hi Sam, I'm sorry to hear this is causing you so much stress. We can't really say what's causing those things because, as you pointed out, things like weather could easily be a factor here. But if you notice pain or swelling that just isn't going away, that would something to check with a healthcare...
by Sam W
Mon Dec 05, 2022 7:55 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: i hate it when boys fancy me
Replies: 1
Views: 42

Re: i hate it when boys fancy me

Hi Lyle Lanley, I think the most likely answer to why you're feeling this way is that, so far, boys being interested in you results in you being harassed or otherwise made to feel crummy in some way. Too, as you've pointed out, their interest in you seems to be directed at a version of that you don'...
by Sam W
Sun Dec 04, 2022 9:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation questions
Replies: 3
Views: 114

Re: Masturbation questions

Hi Nessa709, You know, I don't think it's all that strange for you to have thought about masturbation mainly in terms of pleasure rather than as being specifically a sexual thing. As you mentioned, when little kids masturbate, the fact that it feels good is what's driving it (and why parents have to...
by Sam W
Sun Dec 04, 2022 9:04 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm 13 and struggling with kink/BDSM
Replies: 7
Views: 222

Re: I'm 13 and struggling with kink/BDSM

Hi awhiskandalamp, If you want a little help having those conversations with them, our Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist can be really helpful! As for safer sex supplies, if you don't have the money to buy condoms, you could do a little digging to see if somewhere like the school nurse...
by Sam W
Sun Dec 04, 2022 8:50 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?
Replies: 8
Views: 122

Re: How can I stop cumming when I think about my bf?

Hi Bethanie, Is this happening without any kind of stimulation at all, or does it tend to happen if you're doing something riding your bike or driving back from where you were seeing him? Too, it is possible to get very turned on by someone you're attracted to even if you're not doing anything sexua...
by Sam W
Sat Dec 03, 2022 8:58 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Coping with sexual shame re: family and upbringing
Replies: 1
Views: 49

Re: Coping with sexual shame re: family and upbringing

Hi jellybeanqueen, This sounds like a really stressful situation, in part because it sounds like they are already being judgmental about this to the point of being rude not only to you, but to your partner. Do you think it would be helpful to start by trying to set boundaries with them, rather than ...
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Condom question
Replies: 5
Views: 136

Re: Condom question

Yes, that's something that can happen sometimes. Too, if you're worried, it may help to make sure that whoever is wearing the condom is wearing one that isn't too loose.
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:16 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Body Image(??)
Replies: 3
Views: 90

Re: Body Image(??)

Hi awhiskandalamp, So, there are two smaller things I want to address before we get to the heart of this question. The first is that, given your age, it's important to remember that you're still on the early end of puberty, which is in and of itself going to cause some changes to your body shape and...
by Sam W
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:03 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Condom question
Replies: 5
Views: 136

Re: Condom question

Hi 55,

It's possible for some pre-ejaculate or ejaculate to end up in the sides of the condom. But as long as it's not coming out of the base, it's not cause for concern (since it's still trapped inside the condom).
by Sam W
Tue Nov 29, 2022 8:27 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: i feel like i'll never have a relationship
Replies: 1
Views: 97

Re: i feel like i'll never have a relationship

Hi MissBeehive, It sounds like there are a few different things going on here that are all crashing together to make you feel super stressed! Let's start with those worries around romance and possibly being aromantic. While it's entirely possible for some folks to realize they're aromantic at a youn...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 28, 2022 7:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 785

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, In that case, I would raise that topic the next time you speak with them. If you're not sure how to do that or how to approach the topic with them, that's certainly something we can help you brainstorm. Too, with those feelings of shame or that this is somehow too "out there" as a ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 11:18 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.
Replies: 6
Views: 312

Re: a gay friend who likes me. Confused.

Hi gizmoX, I just wanted to chime in with a few additional points! When it comes to the actual conversations, I think a good first step would be to have a check-in where you both have space to say how you're feeling about this whole thing. That could include what parts of it you're comfortable with ...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 785

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop, That's helpful information, thank you! One thing to consider is that it's very unlikely that a therapist, including a sex therapist, is going to approach this issue through the lens of "ridding" you of that particular sexual interest. However, from what you said up-thread, it may b...
by Sam W
Sat Nov 26, 2022 9:14 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse
Replies: 3
Views: 167

Re: Obsessions After Sexual Abuse

Hi Cal, I'm so glad the site has been helpful for you over the years! Realizing that something from your past was abusive or traumatic can be so incredibly rough, and I'm so sorry that your friend chose to hurt you in those ways. Since both the past abuse and these new thought patterns are causing y...
by Sam W
Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 367

Re: help with masturbation?

I'm glad you're seeing a mental health professional for some extra support! I've been looking around to see if there's any research into panic attacks happening during masturbation, and I did find this article that suggests this isn't something only you are dealing with. Does anything in it feel lik...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:09 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 367

Re: help with masturbation?

Are there any relaxation techniques that tend to help you during panic attacks at other times? I ask because I wonder if incorporating those into masturbation, or using them when you start to notice the tension switching into the shut down mode might head off those feelings of panic.
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 9:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 367

Re: help with masturbation?

Got it, those details are all really helpful! One thing that could possibly be at play is that some people can find the tension build-up that tends to happen very, very close to orgasm is so overwhelming that they pull back from it. Do you think that could be happening here? Too, do you ever experie...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:30 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 222

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

We're always ready to read what folks post here, even if it feels jumbled on your end! I'm wondering if one possible way to approach this is by making this a series of conversations you two have together, rather than you trying to figure this all out on your own and then communicate it to her in one...
by Sam W
Mon Nov 21, 2022 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: help with masturbation?
Replies: 13
Views: 367

Re: help with masturbation?

Hi arrivederci, That sounds like a really frustrating thing to experience! Is there any pattern to what tends to cause that tension and panic? For instance, do you notice it happening if your thoughts drift a certain way, or if your body registers a certain sensation? Too, does it feel like the shut...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I’m pressuring myself into having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 222

Re: I’m pressuring myself into having sex

Hi Lee1234, So, it sounds like there might be a few things happening here that are getting tangled up and making this even harder for you to sort out. I think there are a few starting places that might help us untangle it. Let's start with that feeling scared to say what you want. When you think abo...
by Sam W
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:16 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: porn sucks
Replies: 2
Views: 155

Re: porn sucks

Hi dreaminglucid, So, there are plenty of people out there who don't like porn, period, so you're not alone in that. There are also plenty of people out there who do enjoy it, but have found that what they enjoy is porn that's not made by mainstream companies and is instead made by women or queer fo...

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