I'm glad that framing helped! And I think it's really sound on your part to realize that some of the anxiety you're feeling is your brain processing what happened. Would it be helpful to talk about when and how to break-up with him here? You could also talk through your options with your therapist, ...

Hi flores2231, Those are all completely understandable ways to be feeling right now. I want to reiterate what Mo said, which is that someone who has good qualities or someone we love can make a choice that hurts us. That can be incredibly hard to accept, and it's okay if you need to take time to pro...

You're welcome!

That's correct; unless you ejaculated or had pre-ejaculate recently, semen can't be on the outside of your penis.

I think that's a really useful insight! While lots of people enjoy masturbating, there are plenty of folks who find it's not really for them, or that they only enjoy it under very certain circumstances. So, there's nothing wrong with taking a break from it, or not doing it at all if that's what feel...

So, sperm needs either ejaculate or pre-ejaculate to come out of the penis, so if you woke up and didn't notice other signs of a wet dream, then that's unlikely to be what happened. Too, if this has only happened once and it isn't causing discomfort, then it's unlikely to be cause for concern.

If you've recently ejaculated and it wasn't in your underwear then yes, it's possible for dried ejaculate to be on the penis.

Hi Magdalena, It sounds like you've been trying a lot of different things, which is a great way of approaching this! To make sure I'm understanding correctly, is it that you're not feeling any sensation at all, or more that you're not feeling anything pleasurable? Since you mention you might be inte...

Hi Ennie8972, It sounds like you've been following a lot of the recommendations we give folks around finding a way of masturbating that feels good to them, which I imagine makes it more frustrating to feel like you aren't getting anywhere. Can you give me a sense of whether you're able to feel prett...

I'm glad you're exploring Queer Grace, even if there's some discomfort; that's a big step, both in terms of feeling comfortable with your identity and in figuring out how you want your faith to influence your relationship with sex and sexuality. It's great that you've been doing so much reading and ...

Hi coolkid8289, We can't say for certain what these are, since we can't diagnose people over the internet. If you take a look at this article (which covers things beyond bumps), do any of the things described in it match what you're noticing:https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/what_are_these_b...

Hi themoonandstars, Being raised with really conservative views around sex can for sure make sex less pleasurable, or make it hard to enjoy being with a partner. Our brains are our biggest sexual organs, so if some part of yours is repeating those negative messages about sex, that can kill any pleas...

You're welcome! If you decide you want to put something in place to act as a block, the safe thing to use would be a butt-plug, since they're designed specifically to be safe for anal use. If you end up going that route, I'd test it out ahead of time so you can make sure it's something that's comfor...

Hi Emilia, Thanks so much for those kind words! And ouch, I can see why this experience would leave you a little nervous. There are a few different things you could try that might help keep it from happening again and help you feel more relaxed. One would be to experiment with going slower during se...

Hi Dreamlore,

For safety reasons, we don't allow private messages between users, so that isn't an authorization we can give you.

That's totally okay! And I'm glad you feel like you can take your time (especially since the pandemic means that casual sex or dating can be extra tricky). If you're interested, these articles can also be really helpful when it comes to navigating partnered sex and figuring what you (and are not) re...

Hi Kt15, This article is a really good starting point, as it goes over how to navigate casual: Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex . It can also help to think about what you're hoping will happen as a result of casual sex; is it that you feel ready and excited to start exploring your sexu...

Hi kaisedinuma,

We've already answered that to the best of our abilities in this thread, since there's no way for us to guarantee how someone will feel in a given sexual situation. Is there anything else we can help you with or that you want to talk about?

Being at home can certainly limit your options for activities, but I think there may still be some ways that you can direct your energy that will help you feel better. For starters, before you were dating your ex, how did you fill those gaps in time? And, if you could snap your fingers, what kinds o...

Some resources for trans folks who might need them right now and for cis people who want to be allies against the wave of anti-trans legislation sweeping the U.S: https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/sam_w/s ... ybody_else.

I think it might help to treat his interest in you as genuine, just to avoid psyching yourself out. Is it possible he's just killing time with you? Technically, yes. But if he's acting excited to talk with you and is excited at the prospect of seeing you, I'm inclined to treat that as genuine unless...

Hi Susan, That sounds like a tough situation to be in, both around mental health access and being able to talk with your parents about what's going on. In terms of mental health resources you might be able to access, we have a good starter list of them here: Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources...

Hi MusicNerd, Doing about as well as I can over in the desert! And I'm glad to hear you're in a relationship that's making you happy. In terms of talking about exclusivity, would you feel more comfortable telling him in person? And what if you came at it from a very direct, open angle? So, saying yo...

Hi Hel, This is one of those situations where the more direct you are, the easier it'll be to actually have the conversation. You could even start out with something really basic, like "hey, are you in headspace where you're up for talking about a sex thing?" That way, you're giving a chan...

You're very welcome!