Search found 6898 matches

by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 9:20 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Healing wrong
Replies: 11
Views: 415

Re: Healing wrong

It is! This looks to be the main survivors resource in the area: https://actabuse.com/services/rape-crisis-shelter/. The hotline is going to be free, and if having privacy on the phone is tricky for you we can brainstorm ways to get you some. It looks like their services, including one on one counse...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 9:08 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Think I have hot guy amnesia
Replies: 23
Views: 1015

Re: Think I have hot guy amnesia

I think you're right that the simpler you can make that request and explanation, the better! And I think using places that feel safe, like school, to get yourself comfortable with trying things a little outside your comfort zone is an excellent plan. To your question about sex, I think a big part of...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:49 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: do i have reasonable expectations for my parents’ response to my abuse?
Replies: 3
Views: 112

Re: do i have reasonable expectations for my parents’ response to my abuse?

Ooof, they are really pulling out some of the greatest hits of "yes what he did was bad but we can't make him face consequences." They're not wrong that you don't get to dictate the relationship they have with him (since none of us can dictate other people's relationships), but his actions...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fear of Having Vaginismus
Replies: 5
Views: 206

Re: Fear of Having Vaginismus

Hi Rocko, I'm sorry your body is stressing you out in that way. Before we try to troubleshoot, can I ask if you've had a check-up with a sexual healthcare provider where you've talked about that feeling that there's a blockage? And if it helps to know, being ace in and of itself isn't a barrier to l...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I Aromantic?
Replies: 3
Views: 145

Re: Am I Aromantic?

Hi Rocko, The tricky thing is, you're ultimately the expert on your own feelings an identity. So while we can certainly offer some thoughts, in the end you're the one who gets to decide what labels feel right to you right now. What you're describing about crushes actually sounds like a really common...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it
Replies: 6
Views: 247

Re: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it

That's totally understandable; I've definitely been catcalled and then, the next time I went to wear the thing I was wearing when it happened, had the dueling thoughts of "oh no, will this make it happen again" and "ugh I wish this didn't effect me at all." There are a couple of ...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 25, 2022 7:55 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: do i have reasonable expectations for my parents’ response to my abuse?
Replies: 3
Views: 112

Re: do i have reasonable expectations for my parents’ response to my abuse?

Hi Futurefaeking, No, you are not being unreasonable or overreacting; someone groped you, you have reason to think he would again, and you think he might do it to your sister as well. Those are all very valid reasons to not want to see him again and to want him to be kept as far away from your famil...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 12:18 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it
Replies: 6
Views: 247

Re: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it

Got it. One thing that can help is to remember that we can't control what other people think about us, especially people who only get a fleeting look at us when we're out and about. That can be disconcerting (especially if you're prone to worrying what other people think about you anyway), but ultim...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 11:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I feel nothing when I touch myself
Replies: 9
Views: 349

Re: I feel nothing when I touch myself

I think it's helpful to have spotted that you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make masturbation feel good rather than just focusing on what feels enjoyable in the moment. Pressure is one of those things that can really kill our ability to feel pleasure. So, the more you can focus on what...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 10:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 23
Views: 853

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

I just want to say I am over here in my chair giving you massive applause for making that call! I honestly think hanging up was the right thing to do; you were effectively asserting the boundary you needed to set, and showing him you are not just going to hang around and let him try to talk you out ...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 10:36 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Healing wrong
Replies: 11
Views: 415

Re: Healing wrong

Hi Acacia_04, Would you say that when you're seeking out those situations, you're seeking out something that either feels exciting or validating to you in some way? And are there other things in your day to day life that bring you intense, positive emotions? Since you mentioned therapy, are you curr...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 10:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I feel nothing when I touch myself
Replies: 9
Views: 349

Re: I feel nothing when I touch myself

Got it. If it helps to know, this isn't a sign that you'll never be able to experience pleasure the way other people do. In fact, if you poke around the boards, you'll notice you're far from the only person dealing with this or getting frustrated with the fact masturbation doesn't feel like much to ...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I feel nothing when I touch myself
Replies: 9
Views: 349

Re: I feel nothing when I touch myself

Hi Calimint,

It can definitely feel frustrating to feel like you're missing out on something when you try to masturbate. Can I ask how much experimentation you've done when trying to masturbate, both in terms of how you're doing it and in terms of things like the fantasies you're using?
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:47 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
Replies: 25
Views: 1392

Re: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness

Hi Kokopeg, There's no need to apologize; we're here to talk about the stuff that can feel weird to bring up other places, and talking with users is never a waste of our time. It's kind of why we do this <3 I think it's sound to take a break from masturbation if you're realizing it's bringing up tho...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:39 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it
Replies: 6
Views: 247

Re: I like my body but I feel so uncomfortable in it

Hi sydneytoad, You're far from the only person who has negative or otherwise unpleasant feelings when you notice other people turning their attention to you. So, there's nothing wrong or bad about feeling that way (other than it's a crummy way to feel). Can you say a little more about those feelings...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:21 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: abuse questions
Replies: 3
Views: 161

Re: abuse questions

Hi TheBoyNextDoor, I believe you and I spoke about this in chat a few weeks back, and I'm glad you called another clinic to get a second opinion like we talked about! While I can see asking for a semen sample on a case by case basis, I have to be honest when I say that even in appointments where the...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:00 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Queer affirming therapist
Replies: 5
Views: 239

Re: Queer affirming therapist

Hi Raffles, I'm glad my answers and Kimberly's interview were helpful! With the intake forms, it should be fine to answer with some variation of "this is a loaded topic for me and I need time to be able to talk about it." That shouldn't disqualify you from treatment, and honestly it's stil...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 24, 2022 7:48 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: what color
Replies: 1
Views: 97

Re: what color

Hi TheBoyNextDoor,

So, you're probably thinking of semen rather than sperm, since semen is what you can see when you ejaculate. Semen is actually white-ish from the start; what you might be seeing that's clear is pre-ejaculate. Does that help at all?
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 179
Views: 4942

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hi Sky, I'm not letting the other post through since it's that negative self-talk we've set boundaries around before. While I don't think it's always true that the time we want to quit therapy is the time we need it most (sometimes an approach just isn't meeting our needs), I think your therapist is...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:12 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Masterbating
Replies: 114
Views: 2859

Re: Masterbating

Pre-ejaculate is a fluid that the penis usually emits with or around erection and before ejaculation, sometimes more than once.
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:49 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friend
Replies: 31
Views: 1053

Re: Friend

I want to kind of zero in on two things that jumped out at me when I was reading your responses. One is that habit of over apologizing. I think it's something a lot of us do, especially if we're prone to being anxious to feeling down on ourselves. A tool that I've found helpful for that is actually ...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help.. I can’t feel anything.
Replies: 5
Views: 248

Re: Help.. I can’t feel anything.

It's not wrong to say that women deal with oppression and certain kinds of day to day crap in ways that men don't. And it's not wrong to say that having a uterus presents a unique set of challenges. But I think, in the long run, thinking of it as a curse is mostly just going to make you feel crummy ...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 23
Views: 853

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

I'm going to be a little blunt okay? I think this is not a healthy relationship, and I think you start making plans to leave as soon as you can. Part of why I say that is because it's clear that this guy doesn't want a partner; he wants someone he can boss around and control (which, quite frankly, i...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:47 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Good sex-positive books for teens
Replies: 5
Views: 227

Re: Good sex-positive books for teens

You're so very welcome! And hopefully a few other folks will have some they can add here so you can make this section even more awesome.
by Sam W
Fri Jan 21, 2022 1:03 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 23
Views: 853

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

So, if you want to leave a relationship, that's a unilateral decision. It only takes on person to break up. He can think it's a bad reason as much as he wants, but he can't just keep you in a relationship you want to leave. If you tried to leave, or even asked for a break to think things over, do yo...

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