Search found 6141 matches

by Sam W
Fri Jan 15, 2021 10:29 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I think I'm ready
Replies: 25
Views: 833

Re: I think I'm ready

Hi Amthyst, The reason you see people recommend urinating before or after sex or masturbation is to flush out bacteria that may have been introduced. It's still recommended by reliable sources like the Mayo Clinic as a preventative measure, so while people don't need to leap out of bed right after s...
by Sam W
Thu Jan 14, 2021 8:42 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Birth Control Fear
Replies: 1
Views: 45

Re: Birth Control Fear

Hi ah7, If it helps to know, even if the late start on the September pack had caused a decrease in effectiveness, that decrease would only have lasted through the month at most, and not almost four months on. For some starter advice, this article goes over what to do if you're having trouble trustin...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:06 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Taking Care of Ourselves and Others Post-Jan 6th (and almost a year into a pandemic)
Replies: 1
Views: 82

Taking Care of Ourselves and Others Post-Jan 6th (and almost a year into a pandemic)

Hi everyone, I don't know about y'all, but the first week and a half of the new year already feels overwhelming, given the violence in D.C and the threat of it in many other places and that fact the pandemic is still going on. So, I thought I'd start this thread as a space to talk about ways we've b...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:11 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself
Replies: 10
Views: 301

Re: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself

The way to help vaginal sex, or any other kind of sex, pleasurable is to communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn't, and exploring your body ahead of time can help you know how to do that. Too, as I said, nothing you've said indicates that feeling pleasure during vaginal se...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:59 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Toxic ex still haunts me
Replies: 10
Views: 216

Re: Toxic ex still haunts me

It might help to start out by writing out the gist of what you want to say to him; that way, you feel a little more prepared for the conversation and you have a sense of what way of starting it off feels right to you. More generally, do you feel like you want to give him a heads-up that you want to ...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 11, 2021 11:03 am
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: How do I define my sexual orientation if I like a trans man?
Replies: 0
Views: 90

How do I define my sexual orientation if I like a trans man?

New today! Advice for a user who's wondering how her crush on a trans guy fits into her sexual orientation: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... _trans_man
by Sam W
Mon Jan 11, 2021 8:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself
Replies: 10
Views: 301

Re: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself

Hi kaisedinuma, The tricky thing is, we can't predict how vaginal sex will feel for you, because there are lots of different factors that go into whether an instance of sex feels good to someone. You can read more about why that is here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body ....
by Sam W
Mon Jan 11, 2021 8:16 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Toxic ex still haunts me
Replies: 10
Views: 216

Re: Toxic ex still haunts me

Hi Hel, It can really suck when a toxic ex is taking up space in your mind and energy you'd rather be directing at other things. Have you spoken to your boyfriend, or other supportive people in your life, about how you're feeling? Sometimes just processing or sharing a frustration or fear out loud c...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 11, 2021 8:04 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: an older crush of mine kissed me and im thrilled but also kinda weirded out
Replies: 1
Views: 71

Re: an older crush of mine kissed me and im thrilled but also kinda weirded out

Hi badgyal, It can definitely be jarring and frustrating when someone you thought you had a platonic relationship with starts taking things in a romantic direction. Add in the age difference and the fact that you're coworkers and I can see why this is stressing you out. You're also right that a guy ...
by Sam W
Sat Jan 09, 2021 9:13 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Tips for Orgasming without peeing?!?
Replies: 3
Views: 245

Re: Tips for Orgasming without peeing?!?

Hi Bubbles, I do want to check; is this something that only happens during sex and masturbation? Or do you find you have trouble controlling your bladder at other times to? You're already doing one of the major pieces of advice, which is urinating before you have sex. I do want to mention that becau...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 08, 2021 10:48 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Anxiety about potential relationship manifesting into a series of nightmares
Replies: 5
Views: 158

Re: Anxiety about potential relationship manifesting into a series of nightmares

Okay! I would take those feelings as your cue for now, and focus on getting to know this person more as a friend. That might take some of the pressure to read the future of things from every interaction and let you just enjoy getting to know him. As an aside, if you ever want resources or have quest...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:24 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Anxiety about potential relationship manifesting into a series of nightmares
Replies: 5
Views: 158

Re: Anxiety about potential relationship manifesting into a series of nightmares

Hi Amthyst, Yep, you're in the right spot; we definitely consider friendships relationships! I'm glad you're getting a chance to speak with your therapist about the dreams. Even if they can't help you identify the exact cause (though I suspect you're right that anxiety is playing a role), they might...
by Sam W
Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:19 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed
Replies: 8
Views: 260

Re: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed

Chiming in to add a few things to Siân's excellent recommendations. If you can find a local, or even semi-local, LGBT center, a lot of them have a mix of in-person AND remote opportunities to connect as part of adapting to the pandemic. That can give you multiple ways to dip your toe into the local ...
by Sam W
Thu Jan 07, 2021 8:51 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed
Replies: 8
Views: 260

Re: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed

I'm so glad that talking here and doing some extra research has been helpful! It sounds like you're already dipping your toe into LGBT spaces (including our boards) and there are definitely ways to explore that more. And, given that some of the LGBT folks in your circle may not be the most supportiv...
by Sam W
Thu Jan 07, 2021 8:36 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Who is responsible for calling out abusers? Is this safe to do?
Replies: 1
Views: 136

Re: Who is responsible for calling out abusers? Is this safe to do?

Hi ams5694, This is one of those situations that can feel so tricky and emotionally charged, even more so when it involves someone you consider a friend, so this is actually a really good question to ask. I would say a good, general rule is to center the needs of the person who is the target of the ...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:30 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Counselling options
Replies: 7
Views: 136

Re: Counselling options

Thank you so much for the kind words, and you're so welcome for the help!
by Sam W
Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:26 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Question About Conctrecption
Replies: 9
Views: 479

Re: Question About Conctrecption

I do want to clarify that Withdrawal is 73-82% effective in one year of typical use, which isn't the same as effectively pointless. We generally don't recommend that younger folks rely solely on withdrawal because it's lack of experience and control over their bodies increases the likelihood that it...
by Sam W
Tue Jan 05, 2021 8:07 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed
Replies: 8
Views: 260

Re: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed

Thank you for all that context, that's really helpful. And I'm glad to hear you're in the process of getting referrals to talk with people about possible treatments. One of the more insidious things about growing up in very sex negative spaces is that those messages can get under our skin even if we...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 1:38 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Counselling options
Replies: 7
Views: 136

Re: Counselling options

Of course! It might be simplest to be direct about it. So, saying something like, "you've suggested increasing my sessions, and I'm open to that and think it'd be helpful. But, I know that the schedule we have now is what my family can afford. Do you have some thoughts on how we address that?&q...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 1:06 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Counselling options
Replies: 7
Views: 136

Re: Counselling options

You're welcome! Okay, my first recommendation would be to raise the financial issue at the beginning of the next session, so you don't run out of time. As far as supplemental resources go, a lot of workbooks now have online options, and there are apps that some therapists will recommend to their cli...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 12:43 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Counselling options
Replies: 7
Views: 136

Re: Counselling options

Hi Susan, Since your therapist thinks more regular sessions would be beneficial, have they offered any thoughts on how to address the financial issue? Or is that not something you've spoken with them about yet? In terms of things to fill the gaps between appointments (if that ends up being the only ...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 11:08 am
Forum: Pregnancy and Parenting
Topic: Anal Pregnancy?
Replies: 3
Views: 267

Re: Anal Pregnancy?

Hi idk anymore, Technically, anal intercourse poses a low risk of pregnancy (especially compared to vaginal intercourse). The reason for this, to quote Heather in this article (https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/what_anal_sex_is_and_is_not), is, "During sex, when we're all aroused, thing...
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:25 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: General Questions
Replies: 3
Views: 143

Re: General Questions

You're welcome!
by Sam W
Mon Jan 04, 2021 8:33 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: General Questions
Replies: 3
Views: 143

Re: General Questions

Hi idk anymore, In terms of how to navigate a friends with benefits or other casual relationship, this article is a great place to start: Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex . If you want a general overview of what to expect from first-time intercourse, this can help you out: First Interc...

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