Okay, well the good news is that you can have all sorts of sex and intimacy based on the things that you do enjoy - all that external stimulation that you've been enjoying for a while now. You don't have to do penetration if it doesn't feel good for you. Maybe fingering feels weird because you're no...

Hi Onyx, This sounds pretty off to me. When you add in your parents past behaviour, this could be more manipulation or attempts to control you. What did it feel like to you? I don't think that there is anything specific that you can do about this specifically - either to convince them that you are s...

Hi Theansweris42, It's okay to turn to other people when we're working things out sometimes - especially when it's people like us who are here for exactly that. The links Elise sent were our article called "on the rag", an external site called cyclesavvy.com, and a book by Chella Quint cal...

Hi ballerina99! Exciting! You know, there are lots of different things people might say before and after kissing someone. What feels right to me might not feel right for you, but I generally think trying to just be genuine, and connected is a good place to start! That could be as simple as smiling a...

Hi Hummingbird16, Welcome to the boards :) So this is actually a pretty common experience! A lot of folks come here feeling pleasure from some kinds of sex or masturbation and not others, and feeling a bit weird about it because most of the movies and things give us the idea that there is one "...

Hi discoveringme! I'm glad that the articles Elise shared have helped you feel a little more at ease. I hear your frustration, and that feeling of being "broken" but I honestly thing that with a bit of care and taking the pressure off yourself that you'll be able to have insertive sex that...

Glad we could help!

I'm so glad you found this useful! We are absolutely here whenever you want to revisit this thread - or talk about anything else

Hi Theansweris42, I think there are two separate things going on here. The first is that your parents are incredibly controlling, are preventing you from doing things that you want to do, and making you feel ashamed for who you are and how you feel. That's big, stuff, and looking back over the conve...

Hi Raffles, That's great! Honestly, when someone offers something I try to believe that they've done it in good faith and genuinely *want* to help you in that way. It's not rude to decline exactly, but I think that both giving and receiving help are acts of trust and trusting someone enough to accep...

Hi roxxie.008 Welcome to the boards! This is a pretty common experience when you start masturbating - it can take a while to tune into what feels good and build up how intense those good feelings are. That feeling of being pleased, and then feeling done is probably your orgasm. It's common after you...

Of course!

Here are two good starting points:
Genderpalooza! A Sex & Gender Primer
Trans Summer School: What's the Deal With Gender?

What do you think?

Hi Edhelran,

A little ovulation bleeding, or bloody mucous around the time of ovulation is fairly common. If you're not experiencing any pain, changes in your discharge or unexplained heavy bleeding I wouldn't be too concerned

Hi seiii Welcome to the boards! There's a lot on here and I have thoughts on a bunch of areas but don't want to make this too overwhelming so am going to pick out a few points and we can keep talking and come back to the rest, okay? First, I'm sorry your mum has been so cruel and controlling. The co...

Hi ladygirl So it sounds like you have a lot of reasons to be nervous a out this! You haven't spoken about your feelings with this girl so that idea had built up in your head - and you're pressuring yourself to have all the answers when you do. Plus general crush nerves and a homophones family. No w...

Hi electricswitch,

What a great idea! I also hadn't personally thought about something like this, but things like music or stories that I like, or a nice shower or bath would go on my list. Something relaxing and low set-up

Hi Masu, When you say you've tried masturbating, have you been trying a specific thing or just seeing what feels good? A lot of people think that there is a "right" way to masturbate, and then just do that and wonder why it isn't really doing that much for them. Really though, masturbating...

You can always reply in your own time - no rush

Also, we have a bunch of articles on purity culture which you might want to take a look at, right here: Impurity Culture

Hi honeybutterbee, This sounds like one of those annoying moments where what you know in your head (that it's the past, and doesn't say anything about your partner's relationship with you) and what you feel in your heart (sad that your partner's first time won't be with you) don't line up. I hear th...

Hi sky, I see that you have a bunch of posts in moderation, and I'm not going to let them all through, but it sounds like you might want a reminder of the boundaries we've set with you. We're glad you're here and happy to talk to you, as long as it's within our general User Guidelines plus: - maximu...

Great! We're still here if you want to talk through any of this some more, or have more questions in future

Hi BuddyBoi, I remember some of the conversations we had when you were dating your previous ex, and how hard you were trying to support them and be a caring partner whilst struggling with the fact that your needs weren't met. I'm hearing a lot of similar things here, along with new complexities from...

Hi dollparties, I'm so glad that this was a positive experience for you! It definitely sounds like you're slowly thinking through things and working on your shame, with a supportive partner too. Definitely a +1 from me on the towels recommendation, having an old or dark "messy sex" towel a...

Hiya hello_world, Ugh, it sucks to hear your friends talking about taking avoidable risks - like risking STI's or unwanted pregnancy. I think that if you want to share basic information about condom use, or troubleshoot with them in a non-judgemental way how they could respond next time they want to...

Hi sky, The wonderful thing about the word queer is that it's so big there's room in it for all kinds of things - being a queer person who is only or mostly interested in dating women sound is definitely one thing that queer can mean. It also has space in it for all those complex feelings about your...