Search found 7472 matches

by Heather
Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:01 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: rescources f/adults?
Replies: 5
Views: 410

Re: rescources f/adults?

Just FYI, the launch isn't until tomorrow, so you might want to wait until then. :). But I am the sexuality chair for that section, so our team has absolutely put together resources there all across the web with all ages in mind. You might also find some of what you are looking for with the Coral ap...
by Heather
Sun Sep 04, 2022 12:20 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: rescources f/adults?
Replies: 5
Views: 410

Re: rescources f/adults?

Glad to be of help!

Is there any specific arena of information/help you’re looking for?
by Heather
Sun Sep 04, 2022 12:07 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: What can make birth control less effective?
Replies: 1
Views: 147

Re: What can make birth control less effective?

Most of these kinds of apparent conflicts with the pill actually don’t have any real basis. By all means, topical *anything* (that isn’t a transdermal medication, like a hormone therapy), is going to be fine. And there also aren’t verified issues with most herbal medicines and such. For what can be ...
by Heather
Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:16 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally
Replies: 16
Views: 706

Re: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally

You’re welcome.

If that is the answer, you can also just let them know that as they figure that out, you’re available and open to hear how they think you can do your best by them.
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 3:56 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friends and mental illness
Replies: 13
Views: 352

Re: Friends and mental illness

Just looking for what might look best for you. I wish you all the best in finding your best ways to work through the mess.<3
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 1:45 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally
Replies: 16
Views: 706

Re: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally

I-statements can help with this! Like, “I feel so awkward in so much of how I’m handling this with you. It probably is just that I’m new to it and so worried about messing up because I value you and our friendship so much. Can we talk a little bit about this, and can I check in and hear from you abo...
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 1:26 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 95
Views: 12010

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Before I weigh in on this, have you ever talked to us about this friend before?

Do you consider them your best friend? How long have you been friends? Just trying to get some missing context for myself here to give you the best help I can.
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 1:01 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Lump in my vagina
Replies: 1
Views: 321

Re: Lump in my vagina

It sounds like you may be describing your cervix. Can you take a look at this piece and see if that tracks with where this is at in your anatomy?

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... s_and_more
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 11:32 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally
Replies: 16
Views: 706

Re: Looking for advice on how to be the best possible friend and ally

Hi there, Sunshine. You know, it's okay to feel awkward, and it's also okay for things to be awkward. And I find that it's a lot easier for everyone involved to get to that acceptance place with awkwardness when I can just acknowledge that it IS awkward, out loud, and have a conversation about it. I...
by Heather
Wed Aug 31, 2022 10:18 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friends and mental illness
Replies: 13
Views: 352

Re: Friends and mental illness

Hey Raffles, I have a thought: I wonder if you might want to try our chat service next time around? There are some things chat offers that the boards don't -- total privacy, the ability to only talk with one person for a given conversation, more real-time dynamics -- that I think might feel like a b...
by Heather
Tue Aug 30, 2022 12:08 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: A long ramble
Replies: 38
Views: 1345

Re: A long ramble

Hey, Raffles. You do you, you know? I appreciate you saying that about me, but no need to worry. The same things aren't right or don't feel right for all of us! I have a thought: there are a series of self-help books a colleague turned me on to a couple years ago when I was doing research for my las...
by Heather
Tue Aug 30, 2022 12:01 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Questioning if I'm a lesbian, pansensual with a strong preference for the female gender spectrum (or maybe neither?)
Replies: 3
Views: 185

Re: Questioning if I'm a lesbian, pansensual with a strong preference for the female gender spectrum (or maybe neither?)

Welcome to the boards, and no worries about the length. I'm awfully wordy myself. Thanks for trusting us to share all of that here. Since there is a lot here, I'm going to start from the bottom, with something I think is most central to these kinds of questions. I feel like starting with just one as...
by Heather
Sun Aug 28, 2022 3:14 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 95
Views: 12010

Re: Accepting my sexuality

I actually expected that was the answer, and I am sorry that it is. It makes it so much harder to let go of, or at least loosen our attachment, to unhealthy relationships when they feel like the only ones we have. Unfortunately, too, if our only relationships all leave us in a bad place, feeling cra...
by Heather
Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:13 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 95
Views: 12010

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Hey there, Theansweris42. I love Octavia Butler and particularly the Parable series, which I will never stop being sad wasn't able to have a third book. I want to ask something that I apologize if I've asked before and you have already told me. Do you currently have any relationships in your life th...
by Heather
Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:01 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Friends and mental illness
Replies: 13
Views: 352

Re: Friends and mental illness

Something else I want to suggest, Raffles, is that you treat mental illness the same way you'd (ideally) treat any illness or disability in a bunch of ways. Like: • Letting the people close to you in on what your illness is and some basics about it. You can also just make a resource list you can tex...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:23 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i only like the thought of dating men and in a romantic relationship with a guy if i was a guy
Replies: 7
Views: 307

Re: i only like the thought of dating men and in a romantic relationship with a guy if i was a guy

Awesome! I'm piano/keys, lap dulcimer, dobro, voice, conga and now am just adding guitar to the mix! I am really interested in learning bass next. For sure, let's start with the relationship. Where are things at right now? Are you still with him? Have you been able to at least talk about how things ...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:19 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Punishment
Replies: 15
Views: 572

Re: Punishment

Just to toss in a maybe-middle-ground to start with for this conversation, how about framing this as spanking at your age feeling like something that is not at all age-appropriate for you? After all, usually at this age, parents aren't toileting you anymore, and are allowing you more privacy when it...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:10 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: A long ramble
Replies: 38
Views: 1345

Re: A long ramble

Hey, Raffles. So sorry that I wasn't able to honor my intention to pick up a conversation with you last week. If it would help to talk to someone else who does their therapy this way -- during a workday, and via telehealth -- I'd be happy to share my experiences and the ways I work it with you if yo...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:08 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i only like the thought of dating men and in a romantic relationship with a guy if i was a guy
Replies: 7
Views: 307

Re: i only like the thought of dating men and in a romantic relationship with a guy if i was a guy

Welcome to the boards, princesspark. (Which instruments? I'm a multi-instrumental person, too!) From just this one snippet, it's hard to tell if this is more a gender identity issue -- as in, about your own sense of gender identity, and it perhaps being different than you thought -- OR if it is a ge...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 12:51 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Are teacher/(adult)student relationships normal/ok?
Replies: 1
Views: 121

Re: Are teacher/(adult)student relationships normal/ok?

I think that you're right on in recognizing that power imbalances can often be a real issue -- and sometimes can be outright unsafe or harmful for a person with less power or agency than another in a relationship with more -- in relationships with certain disparities. That can be about being a teach...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 12:42 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Why does masturbation feel wrong?
Replies: 1
Views: 145

Re: Why does masturbation feel wrong?

Hi there. It's very culturally common, especially in the colonized Western World, for people to feel bad, guilty, or ashamed about masturbation. Unfortunately, many of us come from a long line of families and communities that have both felt that same way and also made sure the next generations kept ...
by Heather
Wed Aug 24, 2022 12:38 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: First time experience
Replies: 4
Views: 299

Re: First time experience

Hi there, Iles, and welcome to the boards. I'm sorry feeling bad is what brought you here, but I'm glad you've found us. I'd say -- working in this field almost 25 years now, and hearing a lot of people's expressed feelings about a range of first-time sexual experiences -- it's really common for peo...
by Heather
Mon Aug 22, 2022 2:12 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Punishment
Replies: 15
Views: 572

Re: Punishment

Abuse isn't anything that makes you unhappy. Here's a piece on our site that explains what it is in long form: Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault . The tl;dr, if you don't have the spoons for the longer piece, is that abuse is when someone uses what power they have over someone e...
by Heather
Mon Aug 22, 2022 12:17 pm
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: Heather Update
Replies: 2
Views: 860

Heather Update

Hey, everyone. I'm so sorry to have just gone dark all of last week, but my mother had a very bad fall while visiting me from across the country, with very severe injuries as a result, and I have been with her in the ICU, and now rehab, almost the whole time. Her recovery looks to be a long haul, an...
by Heather
Mon Aug 22, 2022 12:13 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Punishment
Replies: 15
Views: 572

Re: Punishment

Hi there, emily. Often, when we grow up with people who abuse us, we learn to operate within the cycles and patterns of that abuse. We also -- understandably! -- are usually trying everything we can to placate those folks, or not disrupt whatever they want, because we know that doing so can lead to ...

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