Search found 7194 matches

by Heather
Fri Oct 15, 2021 12:44 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

I’m happy to respond to what you’ve posted here, but before I do, can you also do me a favor and respond to my questions about accessing specific or general adoptee resources or disability services? That way I can know what kinds of options and resources you might be willing to engage with/have to w...
by Heather
Fri Oct 15, 2021 10:40 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Thanks for filling me in. For sure, if it can be avoided, and it doesn't seem like the possible benefits outweigh the detriment, we don't want to have you doing anything that could result in you being any MORE isolated or losing any of the agency you do have, like losing the loss of your phone. Agai...
by Heather
Fri Oct 15, 2021 6:14 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Hey, Jenny. I’m off today, but I want to keep up with you. I also have more to say here, but can you remind me what “getting in trouble” looks like for you?

In other words, what happens when you get in trouble?
by Heather
Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:10 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Hey there, Jenny. So, from where I'm sitting, especially given that you are a legal adult now, it sounds to me like the most likely way you're going to get more autonomy, given all you have said here, isn't by getting it FROM your parents, but by giving it to yourself. In other words, it sounds like...
by Heather
Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:20 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration impossible
Replies: 1
Views: 182

Re: Penetration impossible

Hey there, massimo. Welcome to the boards. :) It doesn’t actually sound like anything is wrong here to me so much as that you’re discovering some of the particulars of this anatomy. For instance, that “orange peel” feeling spot you touched was likely the urethral sponge, or what some folks call the ...
by Heather
Tue Oct 12, 2021 10:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Aroused with a Sensitive Clitoris
Replies: 3
Views: 98

Re: Aroused with a Sensitive Clitoris

Hey, spottedowl. I wonder if you might be able to say a little more about why you think you're feeling guilty for what sounds to me like a) feeling connected to and at home in your own cultural and racial community as well as b) attractions you don't actually have control over. I don't hear you sayi...
by Heather
Mon Oct 11, 2021 12:32 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Hey, Jenny. For any conversations/strategizing like this, I don't really feel like I have a sense of what generally works with them and doesn't in conversations that challenge them. Do you? Can you fill me in some so I can get a better sense to be able to make some suggestions that are likely to be ...
by Heather
Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation questions
Replies: 13
Views: 334

Re: Masturbation questions

It might be that an emotionally safer step for both of you is to first just see how you feel talking more about this together. We can find out a lot about how we might feel with someone being sexual with them in any way by how we feel talking with them about sex. Often, if we're not comfortable talk...
by Heather
Thu Oct 07, 2021 2:16 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbation troubles
Replies: 14
Views: 292

Re: Masturbation troubles

Hey there, hello_world. I'm curious: these conflicts that you're having, are they also conflicts when it comes to exploring pleasure that isn't just genital? In other worlds, it sounds to me like you might benefit from some more holistic exploration anyway, with a wider focus, that might make things...
by Heather
Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:52 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Sure. I think that you deserve autonomy for yourself, for whatever you decide you want it for in your life, based on your own wants, needs and agenda, not based on what your parents or anyone else wants or thinks you should want or have. I also know, as someone who works in sex and relationships, th...
by Heather
Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:23 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

You know, I wouldn't personally frame this as "You want me to get a boyfriend, I need more autonomy." Effectively saying they need to give you more independence only to go wind up with interdependence on someone else is problematic in a whole bunch of ways. I can talk about why if you want...
by Heather
Tue Oct 05, 2021 9:46 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: why do I have so much vaginal discharge?
Replies: 1
Views: 128

Re: why do I have so much vaginal discharge?

Hi there, utgard. Welcome to the boards. No matter what is or isn't going on with your discharge, it sounds like you should check in with a/your OB/GYN. Having periods that won't stop and then not having them for several months are both things that should be investigated to be sure you're okay. Whil...
by Heather
Mon Oct 04, 2021 1:44 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: So there's a guy...
Replies: 72
Views: 1537

Re: So there's a guy...

Hi there, Jenny. I've been away for a bit, so I'm just getting caught up with you and what all's been going on. I agree with you (if I get you right) that saying you should "get a boyfriend" is a pretty mixed message to give someone whose autonomy you don't support. Not to mention that wan...
by Heather
Thu Aug 05, 2021 2:15 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 30673

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper. I'm sorry to hear about this. These kinds of pervasive thoughts and feelings can feel really terrifying. I know that it's going to feel very cliché of me to ask and put out there, but I feel like I'd be remiss if I didn't: one common cause for this kind of thing is sexual traum...
by Heather
Thu Aug 05, 2021 2:06 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbating and my friends
Replies: 1
Views: 900

Re: Masturbating and my friends

Hey there. I'm sorry that your friends reacted this way. It's actually not uncommon for that to happen -- a lot of young people are really uncomfortable talking about masturbation with friends, especially in a group of friends, and in that kind of situation, often many will react that way. Some peop...
by Heather
Thu Aug 05, 2021 2:01 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Hi can I have some advice please?
Replies: 1
Views: 740

Re: Hi can I have some advice please?

Hey there, Jenny. I hope you've been doing okay. So, we can't make anyone like us in any capacity, let alone a specific capacity: people are gonna feel how they're going to feel, and that's just not something we can control. Want to fill me in on a bit more of this picture so I can get a better sens...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:57 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: This happened to me today. Now what?
Replies: 5
Views: 1519

Re: This happened to me today. Now what?

I get it -- it's not unusual when you're young to go into relationships and not make any agreements about exclusivity or not, or for people to just assume exclusivity or assume that you're not exclusive. Unfortunately, what happens when you don't talk about it and make any agreements is that soon en...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:07 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: This happened to me today. Now what?
Replies: 5
Views: 1519

Re: This happened to me today. Now what?

Hey there, SilverX.

So, what's your agreement with your boyfriend about seeing other people? Is it okay for both of you to be sexual with other people without each of you telling the other? Is that something you've agreed on before this, a don't-ask-don't-tell, or....?
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Post Period Spotting
Replies: 5
Views: 799

Re: Post Period Spotting

Sure, I understand that. Are you up to date with your regular sexual/reproductive healthcare? With your STI testing, and your pap smear and bimanual exam?
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:00 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Not an easy question
Replies: 3
Views: 686

Re: Not an easy question

I'm not quite sure what you mean when you're saying a miscarriage is "treated" like an abortion. Let me try and clarify. As Sam explained, in both cases, with a miscarriage in which any of the products of conception remain in the uterus, and with an abortion (usually only for those in the ...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 2:43 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: please read and tell me I should be okay with this
Replies: 7
Views: 929

Re: please read and tell me I should be okay with this

I'm so glad that lunch went well! And I'm really, really glad, most of all, that you feel entitled to the boundaries that YOU need. What other people are comfortable with is what other people are comfortable with -- what's most important for each of us is that we have what WE are comfortable with, e...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 1:28 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 30673

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

It absolutely makes sense! (Btw, I have just recently acquired a digital piano because my last move made anything else impossible, given narrow curvy stairwells, and I am so amazed at the improvements in technology since I last tried electronic versions!) Play is absolutely also a great framework fo...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 10:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 30673

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Personally -- and I say this as someone who hasn't had the kinds of issues you have -- I really prefer to put all of this stuff under the umbrella of pleasure and connection rather than sex or genitals. I just feel like that larger umbrella makes it so much easier for so many more people to get our ...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 10:22 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Post Period Spotting
Replies: 5
Views: 799

Re: Post Period Spotting

Hey there, Digdawg.

It looks to me like you're observing something that you've observed happening before, that you often have periods or withdrawal bleeds end with spotting, and that's happening now again. If this hasn't concerned you before, is there a reason it's got you concerned now?
by Heather
Sun Aug 01, 2021 12:13 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 30673

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there sandpiper -- I'm just passing through today, but I will be back tomorrow with some thoughts for you!

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