Search found 7582 matches

by Heather
Wed Jan 18, 2023 1:13 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Volunteering Death/Dying Support and Talk
Replies: 2
Views: 327

Re: Volunteering Death/Dying Support and Talk

Not a problem at all! Consider it ever-open. After all, it's not like we're going to stop dying. :)

I love these questions, they're so rich! Thanks for asking them. Give me a bit to finish some other things with deadlines I need to today, and mull some of this over a little, and I'll circle back.
by Heather
Wed Jan 18, 2023 12:01 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Feelings
Replies: 5
Views: 139

Re: Feelings

The idea that there's a specific way or ways people are feeling when they are ovulating isn't accurate. Things like ovulation or periods can also influence things like feelings of sexual desire, but sexual desire is about way more than the four hormones mostly involved with the fertility cycle AND h...
by Heather
Wed Jan 18, 2023 11:49 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Long-distance woes
Replies: 1
Views: 79

Re: Long-distance woes

Hi there, Michael, and welcome to the boards. :) So, sex isn't something that happens on its own. In other words, nothing can "lead to sex," exactly. People have to actively do things for it to happen. Do you mean that if you have or pursue any kind of emotional intimacy with other women, ...
by Heather
Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:46 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Feelings
Replies: 5
Views: 139

Re: Feelings

Hey again. I'm not sure what you're looking for here: can you let me know what your question is?
by Heather
Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:45 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Talking about it
Replies: 1
Views: 84

Re: Talking about it

Hey there, Anonymous. My best advice is to do a couple of things: 1) Figure out what you want from sharing this with family members: making a small list may be helpful. 2) Figure out what you just can't handle or deal with from family members if you're disclosing: again, I'd make a list. 3) Look at ...
by Heather
Thu Jan 12, 2023 10:49 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Heavy bleeding after losing virginity
Replies: 9
Views: 363

Re: Heavy bleeding after losing virginity

I need to back up Carly here: this is a lot of bleeding, to the point that I'm not even sure how related to sex this was (save maybe something like a burst internal cyst because of some pressure on your abdomen). I think you need to go get healthcare -- and an ER might be better -- even thought this...
by Heather
Wed Jan 11, 2023 10:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Heavy bleeding after losing virginity
Replies: 9
Views: 363

Re: Heavy bleeding after losing virginity

Clotting generally isn't something that will happen with any kind of vaginal bleeding that isn't related to pregnancy or another major health issue. Even with menstruation, what people often think are clots are not, but instead blood mixed with discharge or endometrial tissue. Can you tell me if the...
by Heather
Mon Jan 09, 2023 3:23 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I don’t feel any sexual pleasure and can’t find my clitoris.
Replies: 7
Views: 499

Re: I don’t feel any sexual pleasure and can’t find my clitoris.

It's okay, it can be really hard to find words for this stuff! So, what I hear you saying is: a) You expect that engaging your genitals will increase how aroused you feel, and it has not done that. b) You don't feel what you expect something "sexual" to feel like. c) You feel sensations, b...
by Heather
Mon Jan 09, 2023 1:55 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I don’t feel any sexual pleasure and can’t find my clitoris.
Replies: 7
Views: 499

Re: I don’t feel any sexual pleasure and can’t find my clitoris.

Hi there. I think it's important to take your age into account. You are just, so barely just, at the beginning of a lifetime of sexuality, a lifetime of getting to know your own sexuality, your own body, all of it. Too, how people describe sex often isn't exactly accurate: it's pretty often elevated...
by Heather
Mon Jan 09, 2023 1:42 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.
Replies: 9
Views: 517

Re: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.

Glad it felt of benefit to you. There really is no right or wrong "number," I promise, and I also think we need to ask ourselves about a framework that even reduces people and our intimate experiences with them to a number, you know? This is the stuff of our hearts and minds and bodies and...
by Heather
Sun Jan 08, 2023 11:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: BF still friends with hook up
Replies: 3
Views: 201

Re: BF still friends with hook up

I'm so glad to have been of help! And now that I think about it again I wish I would’ve also said something along the lines: I feel uncomfortable with you or him showing physical affection towards each other in your bed. I am here for you and if you need me or crave attention or affection, I’ll be t...
by Heather
Sun Jan 08, 2023 11:34 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.
Replies: 9
Views: 517

Re: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.

You know, I don't really think of my sexual history as "so many partners," because the number of partners I have had feels right for me, not like "so many" or "not enough," you know? For sure, I think that I have a wider scope of people I can be attracted to than a lot ...
by Heather
Wed Jan 04, 2023 10:46 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't feel sexual pleasure.
Replies: 7
Views: 620

Re: I don't feel sexual pleasure.

I'm so sorry to hear that, Mantis. (And fellow Zoloft user here, if it helps to know that.) Can I ask how you feel when you start masturbating? What's the thing that sparks you to do it in the first place? Are you feeling a lot of desire when you do, or is it more like something you do out of habit ...
by Heather
Wed Jan 04, 2023 10:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: BF still friends with hook up
Replies: 3
Views: 201

Re: BF still friends with hook up

Hey there, xddeye. Welcome to the boards, and I'm glad that you found us and feel able to ask for help and support with this here. Your boyfriend is right, you aren't entitled to knowing all of his sexual history, but I also think you're right in that this particular thing is a) less historical than...
by Heather
Wed Jan 04, 2023 10:31 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I want to talk about this before I change my mind and run off.
Replies: 5
Views: 586

Re: I want to talk about this before I change my mind and run off.

Rubie, I just want to start by saying that all of the feelings you're having and the ways you have expressed them here are totally valid. I think a lot of us who are survivors can also relate to that thing where changes to us and our lives after assault can be a really mixed bag, and even the good c...
by Heather
Wed Jan 04, 2023 10:24 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: How to eliminate the smell of masturbation?
Replies: 3
Views: 2864

Re: How to eliminate the smell of masturbation?

There's really not a way that masturbation "smells." No one can come into a room, for instance, and smell that someone has masturbated. Any smell from masturbation is likely just a smell of sweat, and that's just a people thing, you know? This is one of those things where you are likely sm...
by Heather
Tue Jan 03, 2023 1:32 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 203
Views: 34316

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Honestly, I'm thinking of just not coming there again if my parents won't force me. I'm just so tired of hearing and feeling like there is something wrong with me all the time, both physically and mentally. I'm tired of always having some problems, never serious enough to need urgent help or to mak...
by Heather
Tue Jan 03, 2023 10:59 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: What is on a boy's mind when he is having casual sex?
Replies: 3
Views: 248

Re: What is on a boy's mind when he is having casual sex?

What does a guy think during all of that? I do want to add here that guys aren't a monolith: there's nowhere near no one thought or ways of thinking that all people who identify as men or were assigned male sex at birth have. All of those (billions of!) people are very diverse, sexual experiences t...
by Heather
Tue Jan 03, 2023 10:52 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.
Replies: 9
Views: 517

Re: A question for Nicole and anybody else who wants to chime in.

Hey, Rubie. If it's helpful, I'm happy to talk about this from the opposite angle. Growing up (and through a lot of my life), I usually had had substantially more sexual experience or partners than many of my partners. I do think a lot of people make some inaccurate assumptions about folks who have ...
by Heather
Sun Jan 01, 2023 1:32 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexuality stolen from me
Replies: 1
Views: 160

Re: Sexuality stolen from me

Hey there, Whispermae. Thanks for trusting us enough to share all of what you had here, both facts and feelings. This is big, hard stuff, and I'm glad you feel able to talk about it with us. So, I'm a survivor, too. (My earliest assault also sounds a lot like what happened to you, based on your othe...
by Heather
Sun Jan 01, 2023 1:12 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 203
Views: 34316

Re: Accepting my sexuality

I do just want to be a bit of a nag and make a general reminder to all that the idea we can "balance" hormones is actually not a fact-based framework. There are a good amount of articles on this, but here's one that sums the major issues with this up pretty succinctly (and these are all OB...
by Heather
Sun Jan 01, 2023 1:00 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Should I get my (harmless) hemorrhoid checked out for my future sex life?
Replies: 1
Views: 253

Re: Should I get my (harmless) hemorrhoid checked out for my future sex life?

Welcome to the boards, blu_envy. :) To the best of my knowledge, surgery to remove hemorrhoids is usually only suggested when there's a health problem because of them or when one (or more) are causing pain, and when other ways of managing them haven't been successful. I don't believe they are someth...
by Heather
Fri Dec 30, 2022 12:56 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 203
Views: 34316

Re: Accepting my sexuality

I'm afraid I don't have much time today, so I'll be quick! On the whole, no, having a lower level of one given hormone doesn't mean having more of the other because of that. But again, I think it's important to bear in mind that there's really no such thing as a static "level" for hormones...
by Heather
Thu Dec 29, 2022 11:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I stop conflating my self worth with my dating experiences
Replies: 9
Views: 565

Re: How do I stop conflating my self worth with my dating experiences

I hear you on writing being solitary: it's one of my big things to do, too, and it certainly generally is not conducive to doing with other people, exactly. But there are some ways to still connect with others around that interest if you want, including ways to work on writing things at the same tim...
by Heather
Thu Dec 29, 2022 11:24 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I stop conflating my self worth with my dating experiences
Replies: 9
Views: 565

Re: How do I stop conflating my self worth with my dating experiences

I found a couple of Discords for crafting circles through Lex, which is a queer community and dating app that is TEXT and not photo based. There's no requirement or even expectation to use it for dating or sex if you don't want to: you could (as I have so far, because my age group isn't really repre...

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