Search found 7325 matches

by Heather
Thu Jan 20, 2022 12:01 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

That's literally what these services are here for, and I'm so glad that we can do this for you. <3

(I'm afraid I have to head off now myself, alas, I got boosted and flu-shot yesterday and it is kicking my tucas like nobody's business, but hang in there, pal.)
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 3:48 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

I am, for about 15 more minutes today.
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 2:21 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

Aw, not at all. That was very rousing. :)
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 1:31 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

Hey again. :) You know what life looks like for those of us who are LGBTQAI is as varied as it tends to look for folks who aren't. And the same really goes for what people think. By all means, we all still live in a world that's more accepting of straight people than those of us who aren't, and that...
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 1:25 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

If literally anyone -- anyone, absolutely including queer people -- tells you that they do not have at least some internalized homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, they are seriously kidding themselves. We are ALL homophobic, there's no way we can come up in this world and not be to at least some d...
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 12:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

I know it's hard to claim that, but I think that it's a really important first step for you. It is very clearly something you struggle with a lot and very deeply. So, you know that there is no obligation to keep a date you made. Everyone can and does cancel dates for all kinds of reasons, including ...
by Heather
Tue Jan 18, 2022 11:55 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: How do I know if my email sent?
Replies: 10
Views: 353

Re: How do I know if my email sent?

Hey there: I'm so sorry that it took us so long to find this email. Something glitched with our contact email for a bit there, and while it did, your email got lost. Jacob just found it, and I just did what you asked us to in it. I really appreciate your patience, and I'm so sorry again you had to b...
by Heather
Mon Jan 17, 2022 3:48 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

Isn't that just the Murphy's Law of psyching yourself up for something? You do all that work then you go and it's the wrong day, or not the thing you thought, or something like that. I've had that happen so many times, I swear. I'm sorry you felt awkward, but I do think it's good you tried, and I re...
by Heather
Sun Jan 16, 2022 10:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

(Btw, I think you're in chat right now, just FYI, I can also work there with you this morning if you'd prefer.)
by Heather
Sun Jan 16, 2022 10:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

As I think we've talked about before, no one who is an actual therapist does that. It's an abuse, not a therapy, always has been an abuse, never has been a therapy. It's one of those things where they have used a word to try and hide what something actually is. It's never done anything but very seri...
by Heather
Thu Jan 13, 2022 1:42 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

Well, that bet certainly sounds like some pressure. Yipes. It's never fun when friends do something like that, especially when you're standing on the sidelines, being silently and solitary maybe-queer. Let them be disappointed (unless you meet someone you like, in which case, you do you!). They shou...
by Heather
Thu Jan 13, 2022 1:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

There's nothing to forgive. We're good. I'm sorry that you're struggling, and I can understand that as a basis for things like self-sabotage or trying to sabotage community or support. I appreciate you taking stock of that and taking responsibility, though, especially for yourself. <3
by Heather
Thu Jan 13, 2022 12:08 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: What do I do
Replies: 3
Views: 164

Re: What do I do

Hey there, Roxiee.

How do you feel about that? I think sorting out your feelings about him doing that is probably a first step in both this conversation and in your own decision-making process with all of this.
by Heather
Wed Jan 12, 2022 2:05 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

I'm so sorry. :(
by Heather
Wed Jan 12, 2022 9:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbating reminds me I’m not like other girls
Replies: 6
Views: 211

Re: Masturbating reminds me I’m not like other girls

Hey, Delta. Welcome to the boards. <3 I understand what you're saying and asking about. I'm also sorry that you're having this experience: it's certainly a tough situation to be in, to be struggling to do something that's supposed to make us feel good only to find it makes you feel bad in a really d...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 1:31 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

I'm only approving this so we can resolve this issue moving forward. You know how I feel about you putting yourself down and how I'm not here for it. You can come here or not: this is for you and up to you, and only you can decide if it's serving you. But you don't have anything to apologize for and...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 12:34 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

I'm curious why you'd plan to fake orgasm and why you'd tell me about planning to do that? Also, if something actually triggers PTSD it can't be ignored, and then it might not just impact you, but your partner, too, so it's not just about what you care about. Having someone suddenly dissociate on yo...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 11:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

So, your next steps are about your safety and health: emotional, physical, sexual. Since we've got COVID going on, it's ideal not to be hooking up with new partners, period, but if someone is going to anyway, we've got info on safety for that here (long story short: vaccinations and conversations/ag...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

So, what makes it all feeling good likely -- with or without orgasm -- is mostly just communicating to a partner what you want and what you like, both before and then as you go, during, and asking them about what they want and like and how they're feeling throughout. And making choices following tha...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

It's all supposed to feel, at least, pretty good. And usually, for orgasm to happen, much of it needs to. Orgasm tends to happen as a result of accumulated pleasure, rather than just popping out of nowhere. That's why with a partner, it tends to be something that can take some time to get to, becaus...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:21 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

Before we go to those places, let's pause for a sec. Can you talk about what was so upsetting about the orgasm part? For sure, I get it can be a bummer that that can be something that takes a while with a new partner (it might not, but it often does, especially when sex with other people is also new...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 9:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

(You and me both on that word, pal. Bleck.) What you shared was really helpful for me, I hope it was for you, too. These things all sound pretty clear to me, actually, not like you don't know what you want: these are all clear things that you want. So, not everything on this list is realistic. An or...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 8:48 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

The thing is, this is our job, so you don't need to give us anything in return. For paid staff like myself, I get a paycheck for being here, besides the satisfaction of doing my job, which is pretty major a lot of the time. Volunteer staff choose to volunteer because they get things from working her...
by Heather
Tue Jan 11, 2022 8:45 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 152
Views: 3751

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hey there, sky. You know, when it comes to making any kind of sexual choice, whatever our history, I think what's most important is that we ground it in two things: in what we're looking for most from it, and then in basic physical and emotional safety for everyone involved. In your case, I actually...
by Heather
Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:34 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1447

Re: Unwanted crush

I'm so sorry to hear about your guinea pig. Life is really so hard sometimes. And I'm sorry that the feelings that you have for your friend are so big and bring so much conflict for you. I'm glad you've been able to talk here, too, and while we certainly can bring this particular conversation to a c...

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