Search found 7251 matches

by Heather
Mon Nov 29, 2021 2:56 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hey sky: just thinking about you, wanted to take a second to check in and see how you're holding up. <3
by Heather
Thu Nov 25, 2021 7:24 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Too excited,how to get calm before finding cervix?
Replies: 9
Views: 186

Re: Too excited,how to get calm before finding cervix?

Glad it helped! If you need lube for using a cup, then yeah, you won’t want to switch unless you have it. And yep, coconut oil is something you can use if you find it’s something that’s a good fit for your vaginal environment (a lot of folks do, but some don’t). Just a note on TSS risks, even though...
by Heather
Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:45 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore
Replies: 14
Views: 288

Re: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore

You're not a nuisance. So, when I read posts like the first one you made here? To me, that's "that bad." Only being able to get out of bed for times a day? Definitely not optimal, and were it me, it's definitely not how I'd want to be living my life if I had the option to live it different...
by Heather
Mon Nov 22, 2021 10:21 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore
Replies: 14
Views: 288

Re: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore

I know the mental health referral system in the UK is a total slog. I can't imagine having to wait so long for an appointment only to have it end like that, and I can certainly imagine that after that kind of experience, one is certainly not exactly going to be chomping at the bit for another go, bu...
by Heather
Sun Nov 21, 2021 6:21 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore
Replies: 14
Views: 288

Re: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore

Honestly, social media feels empty and lonely much of the time for a lot of folks, so it may or may not be about the time that's lapsed. But it may. It's so hard to say. I understand about the lack of energy. Maybe put that idea in your pocket for some other time. If you're hearing things, or think ...
by Heather
Sun Nov 21, 2021 5:21 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: My boyfriend is cis and I'm a trans man and afraid of having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 98

Re: My boyfriend is cis and I'm a trans man and afraid of having sex

You worked it out. :) Okay, great, what do you think about us maybe trying just talking through one of those steps here on the boards to see how it might feel to explore that? Like, talk through something like a kiss and all the what-ifs, good, bad and otherwise, so you can kind of get a sense of ho...
by Heather
Sun Nov 21, 2021 5:19 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore
Replies: 14
Views: 288

Re: Im struggling to cope with the fact im not 12 anymore

I think you're doing a pretty great job describing your feelings, both here and in other posts. I'm so sorry this is the way that you've been feeling, this and the other things you've been talking about. This is so much to carry. I get it, I'm someone who was also carrying a whole lot -- including a...
by Heather
Sun Nov 21, 2021 3:43 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: My boyfriend is cis and I'm a trans man and afraid of having sex
Replies: 3
Views: 98

Re: My boyfriend is cis and I'm a trans man and afraid of having sex

Hey there, perishglass, welcome to the boards. <3 I'm so sorry that you're struggling with all of these fears. It sounds pretty overwhelming. I wonder if it might help to start by dialing back the never of something that's maybe further down the line -- some kind of genital sex, or sharing what your...
by Heather
Sun Nov 21, 2021 3:37 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly
Replies: 9
Views: 196

Re: Was it my fault and am i being punished too harshly

What you're describing is what severe depression feels like. I'm so sorry that you're feeling that way. It's so hard to be so, so deep in it like that. I'm also sorry that it sounds like so far the adults you've encountered haven't responded appropriately to you, to what was done to you, and to the ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:32 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Oof, I actually feel like some of that piece needs some updating (will have to hop on that shortly), but cheers for the compliment. I don't think it sounds <those terms are actually ableist and not-great, so let's say foolish and leave it there?>. I think it sounds pretty indicative of your headspac...
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

You know what? You need what you need. Everyone's route to self-acceptance with this is not the same, and you are hardly the first person to take one like this, friend. It's all good.

I also like the sound of this therapist. :)
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:11 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

You don't owe me (or anyone here) ;posts or responses, no worries. I'm sorry for the reason you were gone, though, and I'm glad that you're doing what you can to care for yourself as best you can. <3 I think it's also really great that you feel able to claim more of what your own unique queerness is...
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 2:46 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Crush on my Best Friend and I Can’t Tell if They Feel the Same
Replies: 3
Views: 98

Re: Crush on my Best Friend and I Can’t Tell if They Feel the Same

(Obviously Sofi and I have slightly different opinions, but there's no right one here, so feel free to take whichever advice feels best to you!)
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 2:45 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Crush on my Best Friend and I Can’t Tell if They Feel the Same
Replies: 3
Views: 98

Re: Crush on my Best Friend and I Can’t Tell if They Feel the Same

Hey there, Winter, welcome to the boards. I can totally understand how you might be feeling confused. Those messages in terms of both actions and words certainly don't all feel in alignment and so feel confusing! I wonder how you might feel about giving all of this a little more time to play out? It...
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 2:38 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I need a hug
Replies: 6
Views: 192

Re: I need a hug

I'm so glad to hear that he's doing better!

This is a *fantastic* online resource for parents for gender information if you want a place to start: https://genderspectrum.org/audiences/parents-and-family
by Heather
Mon Nov 15, 2021 12:50 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: bf issues
Replies: 7
Views: 206

Re: bf issues

You know, I can't honestly say. But what I'd suggest is that what you might think and talk about is less about asking for this specific way for him to express his love for you and more about ways to meet more in the middle with this, where you can get some of what you need to feel more loved and mor...
by Heather
Sun Nov 14, 2021 5:06 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: bf issues
Replies: 7
Views: 206

Re: bf issues

I wasn’t asking specifically about that framework, to be clear (IMO, it’s got a bunch of flaws, even though some of it is useful to folks). Mostly I was trying to get a sense of just if verbal expressions of care were generally his jam or not, because if not, it would make sense he’d not be doing th...
by Heather
Sun Nov 14, 2021 2:03 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: bf issues
Replies: 7
Views: 206

Re: bf issues

Hey there, lycheefan. Can I ask if your boyfriend is someone who generally expresses their care in a verbal way? Like, do they say I love you a lot to family and friends? Or are they someone who tends to express love or care in other ways, like by sharing their time, by doing things for people, givi...
by Heather
Tue Nov 09, 2021 2:04 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hey, sky. I'm about to be off for a few days, but I saw your last couple posts in moderation. I'm going to leave them there, for reasons I think you probably understand, but there is part of one of them I feel comfortable engaging with. I also don't want you sitting with this idea if you don't have ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 09, 2021 9:32 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Of course. I think that all sounds very honest and real, and also really unsurprising. It sounds like what a lot of people want, no less! One way to do it with therapy that might be helpful is to write it down and hand it to your therapist as a note to start the discussion. That can be a way to get ...
by Heather
Mon Nov 08, 2021 4:38 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Chinese language resources
Replies: 4
Views: 321

Re: Chinese language resources

Given your age, mjlurks, I wonder if with any communication barriers when it comes to explaining what you want and need if there might be any visual sexual media (porn/erotica) you can use that can help? For sure, a lot of it isn't very helpful because so much of it isn't realistic and/or isn't what...
by Heather
Mon Nov 08, 2021 4:23 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I need a hug
Replies: 6
Views: 192

Re: I need a hug

Oh, Aven, I'm so sorry. As someone who did recently lose my best friend, I can certainly understand being afraid of that. It's a big deal, our best friend. They're everything. I get it. I'm also sorry for him, stuck in what sounds like a crummy home to be stuck in. How hard for both of you. The good...
by Heather
Mon Nov 08, 2021 4:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hey there, sky. I'm not sure who "everyone" is, but I'm wondering if you have any thoughts about why you feel like you need to bring this to other people for approval and validation, including here? I have my own thoughts I'll share, but I also think that there's value in you having your o...
by Heather
Fri Nov 05, 2021 1:52 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

Nope!
by Heather
Fri Nov 05, 2021 11:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 58
Views: 954

Re: Just need some reassurance

(And yep, that too!)

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