Search found 7517 matches

by Heather
Thu Nov 24, 2022 12:56 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Grieving an identity
Replies: 9
Views: 291

Re: Grieving an identity

I feel like I'm pulled in a lot of different directions in terms of care. If I care about my stress, I would go back in the closet completely. It would eliminate stress at work and everywhere else and take care of my fear of being outed to my family. If I care about my sadness, I would find some pl...
by Heather
Thu Nov 24, 2022 10:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: weird vagina tissue question
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: weird vagina tissue question

I also wanted to offer you some things to look at since it sounded like you had a hard time finding them. It's much harder to try and put our bodies in context without...well, context. I wanted to be sure you saw this piece of ours, here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/my_corona_the_anato...
by Heather
Thu Nov 24, 2022 10:20 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: weird vagina tissue question
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: weird vagina tissue question

So, I suspect some of your discomfort around it probably is more psychological than physical, like, more about discomfort with how the vulva and such actually looks than your idea of how it should, especially since it' yours. In other words, I suspect some of this is a body image issue that's more l...
by Heather
Thu Nov 24, 2022 7:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: weird vagina tissue question
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: weird vagina tissue question

Will hop on these for you in a bit!
by Heather
Thu Nov 24, 2022 7:42 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Bisexuality
Replies: 15
Views: 185

Re: Bisexuality

I have so been there — in a bad interpersonal space on this holiday and with nowhere else to go. A few years back, I recall all too well being out on a three hour walk with my dog in the snow and dark because of it. So sorry you find yourself in this spot! Is the weather in KY like it is in Chicago ...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 3:35 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Bisexuality
Replies: 15
Views: 185

Re: Bisexuality

His choices aren't on you. This didn't happen or go on as long as it has because you weren't smart enough. It happened because he actively made these choices. He did these things and is the person responsible, not you, okay? I'm glad to hear that you have some care and self-care right now. I'm also ...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 3:11 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Bisexuality
Replies: 15
Views: 185

Re: Bisexuality

Oh man, that sounds like a really rough 24 hours or less. I'm not surprised you're having a hard time processing all of this: it's a whole lot in a small amount of time. It certainly sounds like whatever his reasons around dishonesty with his sexuality and sexual behaviour, he has been very dishones...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 2:34 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Bisexuality
Replies: 15
Views: 185

Re: Bisexuality

I’m so sorry to hear this. I have more to say, but am I understanding correctly you got this new information since your initial post here? I just want to be sure I have that right.
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 12:58 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence
Replies: 6
Views: 152

Re: Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence

Right back at you, Michaela (and to all). <3
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 10:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Bisexuality
Replies: 15
Views: 185

Re: Bisexuality

Hi there, NCHolmes, and welcome to the boards. I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry that this sharing has resulted in the hard feelings that you're having. It also sounds like rather than bringing you closer, at the moment, this feels like it's put a wedge in things between you and your husband. I'm sor...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 9:52 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 13
Views: 440

Re: Fetish/kink

If you want to talk more about what you're looking for from therapists around this (which will probably need to involve sharing some more information about it -- it's really hard to dig too deep with something so vague, I'm afraid) I am glad to do that with you. If you would prefer to do it with a t...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 9:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: weird vagina tissue question
Replies: 5
Views: 107

Re: weird vagina tissue question

Hi there, Katya, and welcome to the boards. :) Only someone who could examine you in person could say for sure, but it's sounding to me like you're describing is one common way corona/hymenal tissue can tend to look as that tissue gradually erode4s and changes over time, as it nearly always will. Th...
by Heather
Wed Nov 23, 2022 9:45 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Grieving an identity
Replies: 9
Views: 291

Re: Grieving an identity

When I say showing up for yourself in this context, I mean setting aside concerns about what others might need right now and focusing on your own needs. For example, even if it might benefit someone else for you to identify a certain way, or be public about certain things, if it's not of benefit to ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 22, 2022 12:39 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Grieving an identity
Replies: 9
Views: 291

Re: Grieving an identity

Hey there, Raffles. I just want to add a couple things. You're only 22 years old. You're both *not* an elder now, you are under no obligation to be an elder for anyone else, be it now, or when you actually are an older person. Given how young you are, I also think it might help out if you didn't app...
by Heather
Sun Nov 20, 2022 2:31 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence
Replies: 6
Views: 152

Re: Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence

Just sharing some thoughts as they've been popping up for me. I'm in my fifties, and my first memories of LGBTQ-targeted violence and other harm start in the early 80s. I think of the systemic and interpersonal harms done to our whole community around and with the cultural treatment of HIV/AIDS and ...
by Heather
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:22 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: porn sucks
Replies: 2
Views: 113

Re: porn sucks

You know, a quick correction I have learned for myself that has been really helpful to me over many years is this: If I ever hear myself talking in broad absolutes -- saying NO ONE or everyone, for instance -- I stop the thought by reminding myself those aren't real. There's just nothing that absolu...
by Heather
Sun Nov 20, 2022 9:01 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence
Replies: 6
Views: 152

Open Thread for Support After LGBTQ Violence

Hey, everyone. I'm so sorry to open another day because of violence done towards us/members of our community, but here we are. Again. And again, and... Sam and I are both here today, and were just talking amoungst ourselves in our staff Slack starting to voice some feelings around this most recent v...
by Heather
Tue Nov 15, 2022 12:32 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I don't know how to talk about it
Replies: 11
Views: 185

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

It will, at 2 PST.
by Heather
Tue Nov 15, 2022 12:25 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I don't know how to talk about it
Replies: 11
Views: 185

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

I understand. Maybe you can try just writing a little of what you want to talk about in a post draft first. If you decide you don't feel safe enough here, or yet, you are under no obligation to hit post. <3
by Heather
Tue Nov 15, 2022 12:14 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I don't know how to talk about it
Replies: 11
Views: 185

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

We are very much a survivor-first organization and service. We're founded and led by an abuse survivor (that's me), if that helps to know, too. We are also founded and led by someone with disabilities, and what abilities someone does or doesn't have, and how a person communicates aren't things that ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 15, 2022 12:02 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I don't know how to talk about it
Replies: 11
Views: 185

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Hey there, Marvel. The good news about this place is that you get to take as long as you want in conversations here, and also write in whatever size chunks work best for you, without any need for verbal communication at all. We aren't in any hurry, and can even stretch conversations here over weeks ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 15, 2022 10:57 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Choosing pronouns
Replies: 7
Views: 253

Re: Choosing pronouns

Honestly, I use they/them because that framework is the closest, semi-recognized thing available. For most of my life, the only choices were he or she, and they weren't choices so much as just what was given to you. I was assigned she most of the time, and that's what I used. I always just preferred...
by Heather
Sun Nov 13, 2022 12:23 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: precum pregnancy
Replies: 3
Views: 272

Re: precum pregnancy

As you read up top in my first response, nope, I would not say that. That said, the X factor in these things is always your own fertility, and I can't take that into account. But ultimately, deciding to use Plan B or not often comes down to not how *likely* pregnancy is for people, but if they want ...
by Heather
Sun Nov 13, 2022 9:03 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: precum pregnancy
Replies: 3
Views: 272

Re: precum pregnancy

Hi there. So, if you had unprotected intercourse/direct genital contact, which it sounds like you did (there's no specific depth that makes intercourse intercourse), there can be both potential pregnancy and STI risks. Without a full ejaculation, the STI risks would be the more likely risk than preg...
by Heather
Sun Nov 13, 2022 8:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Is semen considered bio waste post ejaculation?
Replies: 1
Views: 146

Re: Is semen considered bio waste post ejaculation?

Yes, like other body fluids. But just like with basic blood, for which the same is true, there's not a danger in flushing or throwing it in with the rest of the trash.

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