Search found 7180 matches

by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:57 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: This happened to me today. Now what?
Replies: 5
Views: 100

Re: This happened to me today. Now what?

I get it -- it's not unusual when you're young to go into relationships and not make any agreements about exclusivity or not, or for people to just assume exclusivity or assume that you're not exclusive. Unfortunately, what happens when you don't talk about it and make any agreements is that soon en...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:07 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: This happened to me today. Now what?
Replies: 5
Views: 100

Re: This happened to me today. Now what?

Hey there, SilverX.

So, what's your agreement with your boyfriend about seeing other people? Is it okay for both of you to be sexual with other people without each of you telling the other? Is that something you've agreed on before this, a don't-ask-don't-tell, or....?
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Post Period Spotting
Replies: 5
Views: 113

Re: Post Period Spotting

Sure, I understand that. Are you up to date with your regular sexual/reproductive healthcare? With your STI testing, and your pap smear and bimanual exam?
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:00 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Not an easy question
Replies: 3
Views: 74

Re: Not an easy question

I'm not quite sure what you mean when you're saying a miscarriage is "treated" like an abortion. Let me try and clarify. As Sam explained, in both cases, with a miscarriage in which any of the products of conception remain in the uterus, and with an abortion (usually only for those in the ...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 2:43 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: please read and tell me I should be okay with this
Replies: 7
Views: 124

Re: please read and tell me I should be okay with this

I'm so glad that lunch went well! And I'm really, really glad, most of all, that you feel entitled to the boundaries that YOU need. What other people are comfortable with is what other people are comfortable with -- what's most important for each of us is that we have what WE are comfortable with, e...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 1:28 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 95
Views: 21443

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

It absolutely makes sense! (Btw, I have just recently acquired a digital piano because my last move made anything else impossible, given narrow curvy stairwells, and I am so amazed at the improvements in technology since I last tried electronic versions!) Play is absolutely also a great framework fo...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 10:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 95
Views: 21443

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Personally -- and I say this as someone who hasn't had the kinds of issues you have -- I really prefer to put all of this stuff under the umbrella of pleasure and connection rather than sex or genitals. I just feel like that larger umbrella makes it so much easier for so many more people to get our ...
by Heather
Mon Aug 02, 2021 10:22 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Post Period Spotting
Replies: 5
Views: 113

Re: Post Period Spotting

Hey there, Digdawg.

It looks to me like you're observing something that you've observed happening before, that you often have periods or withdrawal bleeds end with spotting, and that's happening now again. If this hasn't concerned you before, is there a reason it's got you concerned now?
by Heather
Sun Aug 01, 2021 12:13 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 95
Views: 21443

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there sandpiper -- I'm just passing through today, but I will be back tomorrow with some thoughts for you!
by Heather
Sun Aug 01, 2021 11:26 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Knowing that this is a safe space
Replies: 13
Views: 233

Re: Knowing that this is a safe space

Hey there, OtherAngel. I'm glad that this by and large went the way you wanted it to! You might already know this, but just like you can talk about dynamics with friends, with someone sitting next to you on the bus, with someone you're dating, with a lab partner, you can do the same with casual sex ...
by Heather
Thu Jul 29, 2021 11:56 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: please read and tell me I should be okay with this
Replies: 7
Views: 124

Re: please read and tell me I should be okay with this

What a lovely thing to say to me, thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost people that way, too, and I know how much it can hurt. I'm sure that you didn't do anything wrong here: you sound really thoughtful and like you've been doing your best to work this through while having a lot of feeli...
by Heather
Thu Jul 29, 2021 9:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: please read and tell me I should be okay with this
Replies: 7
Views: 124

Re: please read and tell me I should be okay with this

Hey there, Korey. I hope your talk went well. I'm happy to talk to you about how it was for me, but it'd probably be helpful if I clear up some assumptions first that might be confusing things a bit! For one, my friends were people of all genders, and the same was also true of my sexual partners. I ...
by Heather
Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:22 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: please read and tell me I should be okay with this
Replies: 7
Views: 124

Re: please read and tell me I should be okay with this

Hey there, Korey. There's no one right way to feel or think about this. You both get to have whatever feelings you do AND you also get to decide what you want and need when it comes to the setting you want/need for anything sexual in your life. Honestly, this is how my Dad was, and we lived in a sma...
by Heather
Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:07 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: why do my breasts change “squishiness”?
Replies: 1
Views: 85

Re: why do my breasts change “squishiness”?

I love a body-geeky question! In this case, that's mostly going to be about two things: about blood flow that moves to the breasts -- with arousal, the way the blood flows in our bodies changes, and it usually moves to places like our genitals and breasts in ways it doesn't when we're not aroused --...
by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:33 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 354

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

I'm so glad you had a good conversation with her, and also so glad she has your support. That is such a big deal as an abortion worker, especially if other family and friends aren't being supportive. I understand and appreciate what you'd ideally want from others, but alas, that's outside your contr...
by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:31 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Anal sex question
Replies: 5
Views: 172

Re: Anal sex question

It is okay to ask things like this here! That's not actually something to do that's safe, that's a way to get a vaginal bacterial infection. You're exactly right: fecal matter and bacteria from the rectum can and often does wind up in the vaginal canal that way. The way to do that safely is to use a...
by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 8:49 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Well, it's happening.
Replies: 6
Views: 197

Re: Well, it's happening.

Hey there. You probably won't see this until after you're on the other side, but we wanted to leave you something regardless. By all means, all of those little things will be different, and all of those little things being different can certainly add up to some big feelings of anxiety, fear and disp...
by Heather
Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:24 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 354

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

Hey there, OtherAngel. I see Sam took care of the questions you had. Per the protestors, in my experience, they are not interested in talking, just in creating disruptions and causing upset. Even when some of those folks or their relatives or friends wind up in the clinic themselves for abortions (a...
by Heather
Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:15 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 95
Views: 21443

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey, sandpiper! Just poking my nose in, but looks like Val and Marisha have got you well taken care of right now! I agree with you about doing what you can around this held muscle tension, btw! Whether or not it winds up having anything to do with your sexual/sensual experiences or not, any ongoing ...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:29 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 354

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

It's okay to be curious, and it's good to ask for facts about something like this where there's so much misrepresentation. I'm glad you're asking! And I've figured you're here in good faith, no worries. Thanks for making the adjustments with your language, too, I appreciate it. You know, reason numb...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 11:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 354

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

I can't tell you why she's working there: only she could tell you that. We all don't have the same reasons for wanting to work in abortion. But some common reasons include things like: • wanting to support pregnant people • caring deeply about reproductive choice and justice • caring deeply about ba...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:02 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 354

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

Hey there, OtherAngel. I'm someone who knows a lot about abortion, and who has also worked in an abortion clinic. If you'd feel better asking some questions first (or period) of someone who isn't your friend, I'd be happy to answer them. One thing I will say though, is that plenty of people who have...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 11:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 1006

Re: I don't know what to do

It might be worth talking to your brother and sister in law about a visit and letting them tell you if that's not doable for them? They might also be able to brainstorm with you about options like the train. I know that it can suck to ask and get a no, but sometimes we just have to keep putting what...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:08 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Well, it's happening.
Replies: 6
Views: 197

Re: Well, it's happening.

This is all okay! YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY. Just want to report in as someone who left home (if you could call it that: sure didn't feel like it) really young, and also had to leave other living situations on the fly, feeling unprepared and with very little to live on (and as a suicidal person mysel...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sti
Replies: 1
Views: 95

Re: Sti

Hey there, Elk14. Welcome to the boards. Generally, this kind of contact isn't the way that genital infections tend to spread. What's mostly on bathroom surfaces that has the capacity to do our bodies any harm is bacteria, and for the most part, if we're not literally soaking in it, and we wash up e...

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