Search found 7104 matches

by Heather
Wed Jun 02, 2021 7:45 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Does not liking fingering mean I could be ace?
Replies: 1
Views: 92

Re: Does not liking fingering mean I could be ace?

Hey there, browngirl. So, it sounds like you might be coming to this with the idea that what sex is is something much more limited than...well, what sex actually is and can be. For instance, the way you masturbate? That's sex. If you did that with another person present on purpose, to enjoy them bei...
by Heather
Wed May 26, 2021 8:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

That's great! Just wanted to check in to be sure. :)
by Heather
Tue May 25, 2021 11:28 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Intense, Heavy Bleeding After Losing Virginity
Replies: 2
Views: 1952

Re: Intense, Heavy Bleeding After Losing Virginity

I just want to come in here to say that if this level of bleeding is still happening, by all means, you absolutely should see a healthcare provider. For future reference, anytime you're ever soaking through two or more pads in two hours or less, it's time to go to a healthcare provider (and you do N...
by Heather
Tue May 25, 2021 11:25 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey, sandpiper: I don't want to step in too much and interrupt the flow of these great conversations you're having, but I do find I'm curious about something. In any of the conversations you and your partner are having about all this since you started coming here, has he been able to be very support...
by Heather
Mon May 24, 2021 1:37 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

It really is my pleasure. :)
by Heather
Mon May 24, 2021 1:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Happy to help! And yeah, I get it. In so many ways, the narratives around all of this stuff -- especially if you're heterosexual or in partnerships that fit that paradigm in any way -- are so restrictive and so counter to what actually is in alignment with pleasure, joy, intimacy...it's a real head ...
by Heather
Mon May 24, 2021 12:49 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

So, a couple things! For one, I think this is where planning real time for being together -- otherwise known as dates! -- really comes in handy. It's much harder, like you said in that post, to really have time to get in the headspace for pleasure if it's all crammed in there with a teeny bit of tim...
by Heather
Mon May 24, 2021 11:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Sure! Will take a look in a bit and circle back!
by Heather
Mon May 24, 2021 9:47 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper! I'm back around today if there's anywhere you'd like to pick things up!
by Heather
Fri May 21, 2021 11:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

You're welcome. Talk again soon. :)
by Heather
Fri May 21, 2021 11:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Sure! I rankle at the term “foreplay” for a lot of reasons, but one big one is it’s often used to describe things that are very much genital or other kinds of sex-sex, you know, NOT stuff that comes before or can soundly be thought of as orbiting sexual main events. I think we all benefit by really ...
by Heather
Fri May 21, 2021 10:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

It is absolutely my pleasure. I'm always so happy to do anything I can to help liberate anyone from feeling the way you came in feeling. It's just awful, feeling like that. So, what I was going to tell you is that in my current relationship one of the biggest things for us that we've considered our ...
by Heather
Fri May 21, 2021 10:15 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2579

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

No worries! This is for you, you don't owe me anything, including your time or a response. I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling good. I'm glad that you found some things that look helpful to you! I'm around if you want to talk or you need or want any more resources, but by all means, you're under...
by Heather
Fri May 21, 2021 10:13 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

I'm really glad to hear what sounds like a shift in how you're talking about this already. You sound more relaxed to me, and less pressured. I hope that you feel that way. I hope you can feel more and more that way. Honestly, feeling any kind of pressure with any of this...well, pressure is the enem...
by Heather
Thu May 20, 2021 11:27 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Here's the cool part: there are no rules . Seriously, there are none. What your sexuality is, what's sexual for you, what sex is to you? All of this is up to each of us. No one but us gets to decide, it's just something that WE decide for ourselves based on what it feels like for us. If it helps to ...
by Heather
Thu May 20, 2021 10:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

This is all good stuff! By that, I don't mean easy: obviously a lot of it is really challenging and loaded and has even been painful for you (and ooof, so sorry about the friend in there who was the very opposite of helpful). By good I mean rich when it comes to having a lot of information and place...
by Heather
Thu May 20, 2021 8:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Burnout is also so genius, isn't it? I'm excited about your answer to the first question here (and cool beans on the second, as well -- that definitely will make this easier all around). So, I have a couple ideas to start with, and this is a bit of a fork. It may be that all of these prongs don't tu...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 2:33 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Actually, a couple quick questions first, if you don't mind!' 1) Would you say that you have a similar experience as you do with what you're calling sexual pleasure with all kinds of physical/sensory pleasure? Does it feel good to you, like on your hands, to touch your partner? Do you get pleasure i...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 2:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

I'm so sorry to hear that you have felt that way, but I'm really happy to hear that you feel open to trying to come at it from a place of self-acceptance. I honestly feel like no matter where that lands you, it really is the best place to start. I have to grab a quick half hour meeting, but then I w...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 12:25 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 43
Views: 3800

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper. This was a lot of very vulnerable and personal stuff to share, and I appreciate and honor the amount of trust you put in us sharing it. I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone, and I'm sorry you're feeling broken. I hope I can help with both. I'd like to start by assuming that the...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 8:07 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2579

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

How you doing today, AllieKat?
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 8:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders
Replies: 7
Views: 1730

Re: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders

Just FYI, there are more than two sexes! :). There are a lot of sources of information about this, but this one looks like a good primer to start with if you're in need of one: https://massivesci.com/articles/sex-gender-intersex-transgender-identity-discrimination-title-ix/ I think that Sex is a Fun...
by Heather
Tue May 18, 2021 11:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders
Replies: 7
Views: 1730

Re: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders

I think that it's also worth considering that for those younger than tweens, "sex" books aren't usually going to be "sex" books at all because those often won't be developmentally appropriate or what kids really need in earlier childhood. Instead, those books will be more like bo...
by Heather
Mon May 17, 2021 11:57 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2579

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

Sorry to be a day behind! Been having some reactions to my second vaccine. Bleck. I hear you on the irony, but I also think that’s a good approach — seeing what this place offers you that you actually want or could use anyway to help you while you’re there, on the other side, or just plain pass the ...

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