Search found 7166 matches

by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:33 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 185

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

I'm so glad you had a good conversation with her, and also so glad she has your support. That is such a big deal as an abortion worker, especially if other family and friends aren't being supportive. I understand and appreciate what you'd ideally want from others, but alas, that's outside your contr...
by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:31 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Anal sex question
Replies: 1
Views: 15

Re: Anal sex question

It is okay to ask things like this here! That's not actually something to do that's safe, that's a way to get a vaginal bacterial infection. You're exactly right: fecal matter and bacteria from the rectum can and often does wind up in the vaginal canal that way. The way to do that safely is to use a...
by Heather
Tue Jul 27, 2021 8:49 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Well, it's happening.
Replies: 4
Views: 83

Re: Well, it's happening.

Hey there. You probably won't see this until after you're on the other side, but we wanted to leave you something regardless. By all means, all of those little things will be different, and all of those little things being different can certainly add up to some big feelings of anxiety, fear and disp...
by Heather
Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:24 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 185

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

Hey there, OtherAngel. I see Sam took care of the questions you had. Per the protestors, in my experience, they are not interested in talking, just in creating disruptions and causing upset. Even when some of those folks or their relatives or friends wind up in the clinic themselves for abortions (a...
by Heather
Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:15 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 85
Views: 18260

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey, sandpiper! Just poking my nose in, but looks like Val and Marisha have got you well taken care of right now! I agree with you about doing what you can around this held muscle tension, btw! Whether or not it winds up having anything to do with your sexual/sensual experiences or not, any ongoing ...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:29 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 185

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

It's okay to be curious, and it's good to ask for facts about something like this where there's so much misrepresentation. I'm glad you're asking! And I've figured you're here in good faith, no worries. Thanks for making the adjustments with your language, too, I appreciate it. You know, reason numb...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 11:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 185

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

I can't tell you why she's working there: only she could tell you that. We all don't have the same reasons for wanting to work in abortion. But some common reasons include things like: • wanting to support pregnant people • caring deeply about reproductive choice and justice • caring deeply about ba...
by Heather
Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:02 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic
Replies: 12
Views: 185

Re: finding out my friend works at an abortion clinic

Hey there, OtherAngel. I'm someone who knows a lot about abortion, and who has also worked in an abortion clinic. If you'd feel better asking some questions first (or period) of someone who isn't your friend, I'd be happy to answer them. One thing I will say though, is that plenty of people who have...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 11:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

It might be worth talking to your brother and sister in law about a visit and letting them tell you if that's not doable for them? They might also be able to brainstorm with you about options like the train. I know that it can suck to ask and get a no, but sometimes we just have to keep putting what...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:08 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Well, it's happening.
Replies: 4
Views: 83

Re: Well, it's happening.

This is all okay! YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY. Just want to report in as someone who left home (if you could call it that: sure didn't feel like it) really young, and also had to leave other living situations on the fly, feeling unprepared and with very little to live on (and as a suicidal person mysel...
by Heather
Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sti
Replies: 1
Views: 67

Re: Sti

Hey there, Elk14. Welcome to the boards. Generally, this kind of contact isn't the way that genital infections tend to spread. What's mostly on bathroom surfaces that has the capacity to do our bodies any harm is bacteria, and for the most part, if we're not literally soaking in it, and we wash up e...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 1:36 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 85
Views: 18260

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

I am so sorry that it asks for so much patience over so much time. What you're going through isn't something I've been through, but there are other ways I can absolutely relate -- things I've dealt with around ability and disability, around figuring my way around my sexuality or my heart after abuse...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 12:46 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 85
Views: 18260

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Time, totally time. I know that's a bit of a lousy answer, but I do think that time and practice have a lot to do with it. I also think doing what you can to keep your eyes on the actual prize, which in your case is really trying to stay focused on YOU and trying to explore and experience and expres...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confused about a girl
Replies: 3
Views: 88

Re: Confused about a girl

I hear that, and I think that's actually a great spot to be in with this. I'd say in person with this one, IMHO. I feel like some eye contact and other body language to let her know that it's all cool and things aren't super awkward might be helpful. I also think that saying what you just said here ...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 85
Views: 18260

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

You know, the thing that feels the closest to my version of what you're experiencing with this is my choosing not to parent. So, I'm going to talk about that for a minute in this vein. I actually really like kids and young people, more than a lot of people, even. More than a lot of parents! And I kn...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confused about a girl
Replies: 3
Views: 88

Re: Confused about a girl

Welcome to the boards, forest_wave. Were this me, what I would probably do is figure I'd give this another go when both of us were sober and see how it went then. It could be that, as you said, this was her insecurity coming out with her drinking, or it could be that she doesn't *want* to be dating ...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 85
Views: 18260

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper. It's good to see you, though I'm sorry that we're largely seeing you because you're feeling frustrated. I gotta tell you, I am not at all here for the framework of "learning to like sex." Same goes for the idea that masturbation is something anyone has to do, or that ...
by Heather
Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:07 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: sperm ocd
Replies: 1
Views: 58

Re: sperm ocd

This isn't stupid, this is a pretty common trigger -- germs and sperm cells -- for a lot of people with OCD. I'm sorry that it's one for you, because it can be a really tough one to deal with. None of this is a way that pregnancy happens, so in reality, that isn't a concern you need to have, but don...
by Heather
Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:04 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

Hey, Jenny. Gosh, I remember friends weirdness around my seizures so vividly. Like the whole thing doesn't (literally!) feel uncomfortable enough. I don't know about the history of your siblings with your parents, but it sounds like your brother is perhaps estranged from them, and that maybe the not...
by Heather
Wed Jul 14, 2021 9:43 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19
Replies: 0
Views: 191

Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19

Hey, everyone: Just a heads-up that we're making some updates to the site's backbone over the weekend, so the site will be up and down some on Friday, and may be down for more time over the weekend if anything goes wonky or needs fine-tuning. The message boards will be set to read-only during that t...
by Heather
Wed Jul 14, 2021 9:43 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19
Replies: 0
Views: 87

Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19

Hey, everyone: Just a heads-up that we're making some updates to the site's backbone over the weekend, so the site will be up and down some on Friday, and may be down for more time over the weekend if anything goes wonky or needs fine-tuning. The message boards will be set to read-only during that t...
by Heather
Tue Jul 13, 2021 2:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

Jenny, I think your sister-in-law and the brother she is married to sound like the right people to be talking with and asking for help. I'd be very honest with them, and not feel at all reticent to ask for what you need. If possible, I wonder if one thing they might be willing to do is arrange to co...
by Heather
Tue Jul 13, 2021 7:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

Jenny - I also have a couple emails out to SD disability services asking for some specific resources for you. I’ll keep you in the loop if I hear back, and if I don’t, I’ll do some more looking/calling myself. I’m also happy to give you some places to call with questions to ask if you’d like to do t...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 1:29 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

By the way, I'm heading off for the day, but I want to leave you with this starter list of links for disability services in Minnesota: m I think that it would be worth your time to call a few of these and see what might be available to help intervene and help work with you and your family to get you...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 1:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 901

Re: I don't know what to do

The only free online "therapy" I found was strangers that listen to you while you talk. That's not exactly therapy. I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, or what's disqualifying for you here. Every therapist is a stranger until we meet them and start working with them, for one. But by...

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