Hey there, PrimalDespair. I'm sorry that it sounds like you're experiencing your handle at the moment. I agree with you: a lot of this is about discomfort on the part of older people. I'd add that that discomfort is often based in outright fear. For a lot of adults, even just being involved in kink ...

Hey there, bluemoon. I'm sorry this is making you feel so bad. I got started answering this for you in the text service where you also asked about it. But we can go ahead and shift to here, if you prefer. What I'd said in text is that it sounds like you need to talk to him about this, including beca...

I figured it was probably telehealth, given the timing. I do think that if you can get in to see someone sometimes soon safely, it'd be beneficial for you to know if you have a structural genital difference or not, just so you know. In the event you do, please know that doesn't mean anything is wron...

Hey there, stickfigure. Between the pandemic and all this, it sounds like you're probably under a whole lot of stress. I'm so sorry about that! You know, it's really going to be impossible for anyone to have a sense of what is or isn't going on for you when it comes to your anatomy and an external c...

Also, I want to add that for most people, puberty isn't over until the early 20s. It would be pretty unheard of for someone to be halfway through at 13. Of course, that really likely doesn't have much to do with pleasure from masturbating. More often, the issue you're having with that is that it jus...

I certainly appreciate seeing one, Sky, and I'm glad you have been seeing someone, have a diagnosis, and are going to try medication and see how it goes for you.<3

Do you want to talk about why you've felt reluctant to take meds?

Hi there. So, that's a tricky question for a couple reasons. For one, the whole framework of "erectile dysfunction" is a bit iffy, simply because there's no right amount of times anyone is supposed to become erect, nor any universal "right" conditions. Erections -- when they happ...

If it helps, I can check in as someone who has survived a range of assaults and abuses in my life, including very violent sexual assault. You don't take away anything from people like me by naming your assault as assault, I promise. Abuse and assault are very vast when it comes to all of our collect...

Hell, even if I still identify as trans girl, that doesn’t stop me from presenting as a femboy. Absolutely. This idea that we have to have our external presentation "match" our or anyone else's ideas about what our gender is -- not because we want to have them match, but because they have...

I wanted to add that there is still SO little room allowed for anything but very binary identities to trans people, so the pressure to not just identify as that 100% man or woman (that I suspect *no one* probably is over a lifetime, honestly), but to conceptualize ones own gender that way is so trem...

Hi, Renata. Fellow survivor here, and I'm so sorry that this was done to you. I just want to add something. Sexual assault or abuse isn't something that victims of those abuses "let" happen or don't. Rather, they are things that people who perpetrate those abuses do to us. Sometimes we are...

Hey there, Sabine. I think the first step with something like this with your parents is to ask if you can all sit down and have a talk about this. Maybe roll out that first talk as something where you just get to say how you're feeling and what you want, and then they get to talk about their feeling...

By the way, while I disagree that singlehood is a disease, I totally feel you with this. I'm queer, and have always found it way harder to find girlfriends than the alternatives, and have often been that friend in the friend group where I have gone on single dates that never turned into more while m...

Hey there, GS-6: if you want to do this, you might want to wait to do it until the pandemic isn't still at such a peak. Waxing involves very close contact indoors in a small room, so would be very high risk for coronavirus for both you and the worker involved.

Happy to be of help.

Did you want to talk about condom use or how to access other methods of birth control for any next times? It's also okay to come back another time for that if you feel like you already have enough on your plate today.

It's the only thing you can do at this point, and like I said, even at the end of that time window where you are, it's still about 75% effective. Using nothing would be 0% protection. So, obviously there's a big difference. Glad you were able to get that for yourself. <3

His first time with any kind of sex, or just with intercourse? Just so you know for the future, going in "halfway" doesn't change any of the risks intercourse poses. You still will have the same level of STI and pregnancy risks. What reduces those risks with intercourse is condom use and, ...

You could go and get emergency contraception today and it may still work for you. You'll be at the end of the time period when it can, so it'll be more like 75% effective rather than the 95% it can be when taken earlier. But it sounds like you really don't want to be pregnant, so that 75% can make a...

Okay, so sounds like you've identified something you a) need to make a plan for and b) need to start trying to frame differently. It sounds stupid, I know, but a big part of not self-sabotaging is how we talk to ourselves about things. If we say something bad is going to happen, that makes it a lot ...

Not sure what that's in reference to. Fill me in?

I'm so sorry they're saying that to you. Gee, I wonder where you learned to sabotage yourself? :( I wonder if it might help to figure that you get to just see how this goes and *learn* how to live on your own. That is what everyone does, and I can almost guarantee you that you will make a whole much...

Sky, this is such fantastic news! I'm so pleased and so hopeful for you. Thanks so much for sharing this with me. After today, I'm going to be AWOL from Scarleteen for a couple of weeks while I try and do some of the heaviest lifting of the process for my next book. But I'm here today if you have so...

I'm sorry you're dealign with this, rox. You deserve acceptance without conditions. We all do. I agree with Sam about seeing if you can't start a conversation about the unfair standard of "proof" asked of queer people that isn't asked of straight people. In fact, I'd say that with so many ...

Oh, by the way! I don't know if you already know her and her work or not, but you have a WONDERFUL sex educator in Turkey -- Rayka Kumru. Her site is here (https://www.raykakumru.com/), including her YouTube channel, if you aren't already aware of her!

Happy to help! Like I said, it does sound like you already had a feeling it was more like this, though.