Search found 6910 matches

by Heather
Wed Jan 20, 2021 12:19 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed
Replies: 10
Views: 633

Re: I have vaginismus and I'm so ashamed

(What a wonderful and supportive post to add, lilikoi. <3)
by Heather
Wed Jan 20, 2021 6:28 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Inserting a bullet vibrator
Replies: 2
Views: 283

Re: Inserting a bullet vibrator

Tampons still have a string to get them out, is the thing. That’s why most bullet vibes will often come with that warning and should NOT be used for vaginal insertion by themselves unless designed for that use. Some dildos have openings in them for bullets, and there are also bullets designed for th...
by Heather
Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:49 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help!!! BDSM? Lesbian? Oh no!
Replies: 3
Views: 236

Re: Help!!! BDSM? Lesbian? Oh no!

Hey there. So, you've posted about some things here that pose some real dangers in a couple of ways. 1) Choking or any kind of "breath play" or erotic asphyxiation is very dangerous and isn't something that's advised by sexual safety folks for people of ANY age to do (separate from simply ...
by Heather
Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:46 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself
Replies: 12
Views: 694

Re: i cant find pleasure while fingering myself

The thing is, it's actually pretty uncommon for people with vaginas to masturbate just by putting fingers inside them or find that alone all that pleasurable (just like most people with vaginas don't find intercourse all by itself all that exciting, either). Most people with that anatomy don't mastu...
by Heather
Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help!!! BDSM? Lesbian? Oh no!
Replies: 3
Views: 236

Re: Help!!! BDSM? Lesbian? Oh no!

Hey there. Sexual curiosity is normal, in that it's something most people have. It's also common for what people are sexually curious about to be all over the map, and curiosity about or interest in things like role play, including with hierarchy, and sensation or bondage, is not at all unusual. The...
by Heather
Wed Jan 13, 2021 10:32 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Rumors.
Replies: 1
Views: 161

Re: Rumors.

Hey there, JustANerd. So, we've been doing this work for over 22 years now, so you've come to one of the most reliable sites for this information already. This isn't how pregnancy happens. Sperm cells are simply not that resilient, and they also need different conditions. You can find out more about...
by Heather
Mon Jan 04, 2021 8:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Insurance!!
Replies: 8
Views: 389

Re: Insurance!!

Hey, Sky. I just want you to know that we have seen your other posts, but as you know, they remain outside the limits we’ve set with you in a few different ways. I’m afraid we particularly still very much need to hold that last line we set about only re-engaging with you in any real way after you ha...
by Heather
Fri Jan 01, 2021 11:51 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't have sex. Is this normal to experience or problematic?
Replies: 3
Views: 133

Re: Can't have sex. Is this normal to experience or problematic?

Oh, okay — so are you asking about this in terms of making sense of what happened with those experiences and how to maybe have things go differently with new partners in the future, then?
by Heather
Fri Jan 01, 2021 11:25 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't have sex. Is this normal to experience or problematic?
Replies: 3
Views: 133

Re: Can't have sex. Is this normal to experience or problematic?

Hey there, Ryan. Welcome to the boards. I’m going to ask something that night sound really obvious, but I want to ask it anyway: these attempts sound like they were super stressful for both of you. Would you say they were super stressful for both of you? It also sounds like both of you might not hav...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 3:41 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How long does sperm last?
Replies: 9
Views: 393

Re: How long does sperm last?

Why don't you start with that link I gave you: that is not at ALL how human reproduction works, and that link really is the best place I think there is to start. It also has some other internal links with other sources if you want to branch out. By all means, I feel like any kind if sex where we fee...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 3:37 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How much is too much?
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: How much is too much?

Okay. So, I don't think that there's a normal when it comes to wanting to have the kind of sex where something goes inside the vagina or not wanting it. I don't see any reason that that would be something we could or should consider any more normal or abnormal than we do wanting or not wanting sex w...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 2:10 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbation (Again)
Replies: 7
Views: 546

Re: Masturbation (Again)

It's certainly very common for people to want emotional intimacy, with sex and otherwise. Perhaps obviously, in the middle of this pandemic is a tricky time to want that when it's not something you already have in an existing relationship, and I'm sorry about that. A lot of people are finding themse...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 2:06 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How long does sperm last?
Replies: 9
Views: 393

Re: How long does sperm last?

The things about that first question you're asking -- and probably why you're not finding satisfactory answers to it -- is that that's just not how sperm cells work. In other words, you're asking about them, how long they live, like they're viruses. But they're not. They're cells that can only do a ...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 12:30 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How much is too much?
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: How much is too much?

I'm really glad to hear you have so much clarity about what you want and need right now. I know you're managing a lot of big, scary feelings, but I hope you can give yourself some serious credit for being able to have that kind of clarity in the midst of them, because that's not easy to do. I'm also...
by Heather
Thu Dec 31, 2020 8:46 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How much is too much?
Replies: 5
Views: 169

Re: How much is too much?

Hey there, Holmesgirl. I'm sorry that you had to wait overnight for help with this, feeling like you were. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you're doing okay this morning. I think one of the trickiest parts of all this is that defining sex gets very complicated once some kinds of religion are in...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:25 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: How can I stop masturbating so much?
Replies: 12
Views: 318

Re: How can I stop masturbating so much?

This all helps fill me in more, thanks. Before I say anything else, I feel like there's one important piece of the puzzle I might be missing that'll make a difference in what I say: do you feel like if you have sexual desire, that'll mean you will lose control? That you will have to be sexual or hav...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:25 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: How can I stop masturbating so much?
Replies: 12
Views: 318

Re: How can I stop masturbating so much?

This all helps fill me in more, thanks. Before I say anything else, I feel like there's one important piece of the puzzle I might be missing that'll make a difference in what I say: do you feel like if you have sexual desire, that'll mean you will lose control? That you will have to be sexual or hav...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:00 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Can HPV/ Genital Warts develop between two clean individuals?
Replies: 5
Views: 196

Re: Can HPV/ Genital Warts develop between two clean individuals?

I'm so sorry that you were put through all of this, and that you felt so scared, particularly given your family histories and the stress everyone is already carrying in the pandemic. It sounds like, in the end, you two did a really great job talking each other through your fears -- what a wonderful ...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 12:17 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Buying a strap-on as a minor?
Replies: 7
Views: 230

Re: Buying a strap-on as a minor?

My pleasure. Love your screen name, btw!
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 11:45 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Buying a strap-on as a minor?
Replies: 7
Views: 230

Re: Buying a strap-on as a minor?

I hear that per the frustration. First up, with the condoms -- I see you're in California, so I want to make sure that you know about this program for free condoms in your state: https://www.teensource.org/condoms/free. You can also call in to your local public health department and see how they're ...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 11:18 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Buying a strap-on as a minor?
Replies: 7
Views: 230

Re: Buying a strap-on as a minor?

Needing to get both a safe dildo for anal use and a harness is for sure going to be tricky. But it also sounds like you might be getting a bit ahead of yourself here anyway? I suggest that way before you get here, you start by taking some time with a GLOVED, lubed finger or fingers and perineal mass...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 11:05 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: How can I stop masturbating so much?
Replies: 12
Views: 318

Re: How can I stop masturbating so much?

Can you say a little about what you feel like is keeping you from making the choice you want to as far as frequency goes? In other words, knowing you want to do this less for the reasons you’ve said, what do you feel like is at the root of you choosing to masturbate when you don’t want to? If it fee...
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 10:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ANXIETY BASED AROUND NON PREGNANCY RISK ACTIVITIES
Replies: 5
Views: 204

Re: ANXIETY BASED AROUND NON PREGNANCY RISK ACTIVITIES

Before I say anything else, can I ask what your therapist suggested you do with this particular anxiety? Or suggested you do not do? In other words, what was her instruction and course of treatment for it, specifically?
by Heather
Wed Dec 30, 2020 9:53 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Buying a strap-on as a minor?
Replies: 7
Views: 230

Re: Buying a strap-on as a minor?

Hey there. For starters, I take it you mean a harness, for use with a dildo? If so, are either of you crafty? If you are, have you had a look at this? http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/diy_sex_toys_the_partnered_edition (Scroll about halfway down.) In terms of the rest, can you fill me in ...
by Heather
Tue Dec 29, 2020 2:39 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ANXIETY BASED AROUND NON PREGNANCY RISK ACTIVITIES
Replies: 5
Views: 204

Re: ANXIETY BASED AROUND NON PREGNANCY RISK ACTIVITIES

Hey there, Anonymous. I'm sorry that you're still struggling with this kind of anxiety, but I know that by now you know our policies on these kinds of questions, and I also know that you've read the answers and articles with more information we've provided you to this question before. The fact that ...

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