Search found 24 matches

by Blueswan
Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:49 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm pansexual, but I have preferences?
Replies: 6
Views: 6323

Re: I'm pansexual, but I have preferences?

That's totally normal! Labels are general categories and there's a lot of individual variety. As pan myself (yes, I'm pan and possibly demi. It's confusing in my head), I have some physical preferences though it is mostly based on personality (and all those lovely little details that take a long tim...
by Blueswan
Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:40 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I think I'm demisexual?
Replies: 1
Views: 4193

I think I'm demisexual?

For those who don't know, a demisexual is a person who can only experience sexual attraction towards a person they have an emotional bound with. (Yes, that's over simplified, but that's all you need to know for my question. Here's a good article on it: http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demis...
by Blueswan
Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Is it true that bad parenting leads to bad relationships?
Replies: 2
Views: 1925

Is it true that bad parenting leads to bad relationships?

I've heard this a lot, and I'm just not sure how true it is. I suppose that if one left their wounds untreated so to speak, it could lead to trouble, but I think some self-healing would take care of most of it (except in the most extreme cases). I know a few people who have/had great parents, and th...
by Blueswan
Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:06 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Problems with Sex/Relationship
Replies: 3
Views: 2905

Re: Problems with Sex/Relationship

Let's begin with the fact that you should never feel pressured into sex by anyone. That is unhealthy and can become abusive. A good partner will give you time and talk with you. Secondly, it seems like you were intimidated by him and couldn't communicate with him well. Any healthy relationship requi...
by Blueswan
Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:55 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Bisexual? Bi-Curious? Or just straight?
Replies: 6
Views: 5792

Re: Bisexual? Bi-Curious? Or just straight?

Hi BGJ! There's a lot of orientations you could have, and you're going through a phase of figuring it out. Relax, be safe, and enjoy. I suggest that you research and really think about what you want before going out and experimenting, whatever you decide. Good luck! This can be a great stage of life...
by Blueswan
Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:20 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?
Replies: 9
Views: 4767

Re: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?

Hello Mo! Just out of curiosity: are there any resources I should check out other than the stuff mentioned above?
by Blueswan
Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:58 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: This may be a stupid question, but...
Replies: 3
Views: 2305

Re: This may be a stupid question, but...

True enough. I've just never come across (knowingly?) someone like me, irl or online, and just want to go into the world with as much information as I can get. So is there a place I can look?
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:00 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Guilt and Regret.
Replies: 7
Views: 3911

Re: Guilt and Regret.

You're welcome! Glad I could help.
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:56 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?
Replies: 5
Views: 4409

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?

Thanks! I agree with you Kaizen about the freedom component. I should probably clarify that it doesn't appeal in real life, but in ones head there is some benefit. Also, a stranger can't hurt you emotionally. (Apropos de rein, I'm a writer as well!) Ashleah, I really like your comment about the diff...
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:37 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Opinion: What does Normal Mean?
Replies: 1
Views: 1623

Opinion: What does Normal Mean?

We talk all the time about how we're strange or less-than ideal, and we all have times when we think that if others knew X about me, I'd be ostracized. But to me, our idea of 'normal' is usually skewed in some way (see beauty industry). So what's your idea of normal what it comes to sex/relationship...
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:28 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: This may be a stupid question, but...
Replies: 3
Views: 2305

This may be a stupid question, but...

How do you come out to a potential partner as pan/sexually fluid and are there any prejudices I should know about? I can see a lot of problems arising if like me you aren't a stable thing. I haven't delt with this much, but I would like to know in advance.

Thanks!
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:18 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: What is your "Coming Out" Story?
Replies: 8
Views: 10423

Re: What is your "Coming Out" Story?

Mine is hilariously anticlimactic. The only person I've come out to as pan/fluid was my mom (mostly because I'm really private about that irl and no relationships yet). She was supportive but totally confused. She actually asked me if pansexuality had something to do with pans! And that was the last...
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:09 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Guilt and Regret.
Replies: 7
Views: 3911

Re: Guilt and Regret.

Hello kindascared, It is totally ok for you to feel upset. You didn't go into detail, but whatever happened was clearly something you were not ok with. Don't feel guilty, as you did nothing wrong. Here's a few places to start if you want to know how to heal up. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i...
by Blueswan
Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:03 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?
Replies: 9
Views: 4767

Re: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?

Thank you Redskies for clarifying and for the link. Though I never read the books or saw the movie, I read the hilarious/depressing recaps by Jenny Trout and was shocked that anyone thought these were 'romantic' and 'sexy' (or 'well written' when it's full of the worst grammar I have ever seen), as ...
by Blueswan
Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:59 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?
Replies: 5
Views: 4409

Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?

It has never appealed to me at all. First, you usually don't know this person well (fwb don't apply, but that's a whole other bucket of worms). Therefore, you don't know if you can trust them, and why would you want to be that vulnerable if you have no idea? Second, it seems unhygienic. You don't kn...
by Blueswan
Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:43 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: When Was the First Time You Saw Yourself in a Story
Replies: 9
Views: 7386

Re: When Was the First Time You Saw Yourself in a Story

Well, when I was a little girl/young teen, I loved romantic stories, but...BUT. Mostly the women in these stories (even the great literary tales), seemed to follow a certain plan: they were always pretty, always highly social, always focused on a guy (because they either were silly or they had to), ...
by Blueswan
Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:23 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?
Replies: 9
Views: 4767

Re: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?

Thanks so much, especially for the second link. Part of my uneasiness may be from that confusion (also don't want anything to do with 50 shades of crap because of the abusive undertones and utterly dreadful writing).

Also, aporpos of nothing, I love your quote!
by Blueswan
Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:57 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Trying to stay calm in a scary world
Replies: 8
Views: 6583

Re: Trying to stay calm in a scary world

Hello Sunshine, I suggest you offer constructive comfort (I.e. Give an actual reason to feel better, mention something they can do, offer resources). Whatever you do, don't minimize this situation. Offer to help others around you in whatever why you can. Taking action is often the kindest thing to d...
by Blueswan
Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:56 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Trying to stay calm in a scary world
Replies: 8
Views: 6583

Re: Trying to stay calm in a scary world

Hello Sunshine, I suggest you offer constructive comfort (I.e. Give an actual reason to feel better, mention something they can do, offer resources). Whatever you do, don't minimize this situation. Offer to help others around you in whatever why you can. Taking action is often the kindest thing to d...
by Blueswan
Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:35 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: born female, but feel like an actually gay man and not having transition is killing me.
Replies: 5
Views: 10689

Re: born female, but feel like an actually gay man and not having transition is killing me.

Agree with everything Jacob said. I would like to add some therapy, a trusted confidant, or some self reflection may help you to become more comfortable with transitioning and with transphobic relatives. Best of luck!
by Blueswan
Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:55 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?
Replies: 9
Views: 4767

Re: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?

Hello Jacob, Thanks for the thoughtful reply. It's just that I'm at the stage of figuring out what my values are and how I want to live my life, and I felt a bit thrown off or 'bad' about these seemingly contradictory aspects. I have an investment in being honorable/not a hypocrite, and that made ac...
by Blueswan
Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:22 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Why is porn above reproach when it comes to feminist analysis?
Replies: 4
Views: 3806

Re: Why is porn above reproach when it comes to feminist analysis?

Thank you for saying this! I'm definitely sex-positive, but I have tons of issues with porn and I'm still not sure why people stay silent on the topic. Most porn is very biased and violence is often a problem (not to mention porn actors are usually treated abominably!) Besides that, I think internet...
by Blueswan
Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:11 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: How to become an activist
Replies: 3
Views: 2970

Re: How to become an activist

Volunteering is a great idea! Here's some other ways to start: 1. Research, research, research. You want to know what you want to do, what you can do, and who else is doing it. 2. If there's nothing close by for your particular cause, don't be afraid to start something on your own with a few friends...
by Blueswan
Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:26 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?
Replies: 9
Views: 4767

How do I balance my sexuality with the rest of me? Can I?

Ok, this does get a little TMI. You have been warned. So, I have always been a feminist long before I knew the word. I believe in making sure there is a level playing field for everyone, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, beliefs, economic bracket, etc. I'm smart and talented, and I won't put up...

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