Search found 218 matches

by MusicNerd
Sat Jul 31, 2021 2:25 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Dealing with burnout
Replies: 4
Views: 862

Re: Dealing with burnout

Hi, thanks Sam!! You know what, I think I might talk a bit more— I guess I was embarrassed about sharing something like this opening post. Feelings, man, gotta love ‘em. lol I’ve actually been doing EMDR recently, and had a pretty big epiphany around this breakup just yesterday during a session. Bas...
by MusicNerd
Thu Jul 29, 2021 7:20 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Dealing with burnout
Replies: 4
Views: 862

Re: Dealing with burnout

Actually, nevermind please ignore this post! I realized I can’t delete this lol
by MusicNerd
Thu Jul 29, 2021 12:22 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Dealing with burnout
Replies: 4
Views: 862

Dealing with burnout

Hi all! Hope everyone’s doing well during these wild and crazy times. Last month, things ended between me and a girl I was seeing for a couple months, which really hurt since it was so unexpected. I’ve been trying to date other people since then, but lately I’ve been going on a lot of first dates th...
by MusicNerd
Sun Jun 20, 2021 1:17 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Painless oral?
Replies: 2
Views: 1297

Re: Painless oral?

Hi Marisha,

Ahh, okay. All of those alternatives make sense. And yeah, you’re right: asking them what feels best for them would probably also help haha :D Thanks for replying!
by MusicNerd
Sun Jun 20, 2021 11:55 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Painless oral?
Replies: 2
Views: 1297

Painless oral?

Hi! Hope everyone’s doing well <3 Quick (and probably silly) question: I’ve started seeing someone who’s AFAB and I’m wondering how to go down on someone without it hurting my tongue? Typically, it feels like my teeth are scraping against the underside of my tongue/frenulum, but I’m assuming there’s...
by MusicNerd
Sat May 01, 2021 12:37 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Hi MusicNerd, Since it sounds like the two of you are otherwise communicating pretty well, it might help to assume that his interest in you, and his desire to stay in a relationship with you are genuine. If he were showing a lot of signs of disinterest or detachment, that might indicate something e...
by MusicNerd
Sat May 01, 2021 2:56 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Hi folks, hope everyone is doing well! This topic is about the same person, so I didn’t wanna make more than 2 threads about him. (If you’d rather I do that though, please let me know! I would name the thread “Communication Issue” if so) Apologies in advance for the long post! So, things seem to be ...
by MusicNerd
Tue Apr 13, 2021 4:57 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Mo wrote:I'm definitely glad to hear you were able to start that conversation! I also struggle with this sort of thing, sometimes, so I know it can feel super intimidating.
Thanks, Mo!! Yeah, I'm glad I don't sound ridiculous being nervous about all this. haha :lol:
by MusicNerd
Tue Apr 13, 2021 1:10 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Hi MusicNerd! I just want to acknowledge how awesome it is that you recognized what you want and need out of a romantic relationship right now, and then were able to communicate to ask if his goals align with yours. Especially when it requires being vulnerable :) I’m glad to hear that he is also a ...
by MusicNerd
Tue Apr 13, 2021 12:38 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Okay, so he responded faster than I expected! lol Basically, he prefers exclusivity/monogamy!! Now, whether or not he’ll want it with *me* is another story, but like— it’s a start, I guess! Guess we’ll just have to keep seeing each other, and maybe at some point I’ll get the guts to ask to be exclus...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 1:09 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Exactly. Again, I think this is individual, but it's about figuring out where you are with your own pacing in terms of your emotional investment, and what you need to know when. At some point, we just gotta know things because there often comes a point where we need to know if we should (or want to...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 12:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Totally, and you you can also be specific about that sooner rather than later part, too. :) I certainly generally feel like -- for me, anyway -- that by about a couple months of dating, I will want to get a sense of where something is going per how it's going to fit in my life if I'm going to keep ...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 11:53 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Hey there, glad to hear about this! Just wanted to add on a little something, which is that you also have the option of talking about exclusivity as something you ultimately want, but that -- so long as this is true -- you don't need right now if it's something he also wants, but isn't there yet. I...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 11:13 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

I think it might help to treat his interest in you as genuine, just to avoid psyching yourself out. Is it possible he's just killing time with you? Technically, yes. But if he's acting excited to talk with you and is excited at the prospect of seeing you, I'm inclined to treat that as genuine unles...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 10:56 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Re: Exclusivity?

Hi MusicNerd, Doing about as well as I can over in the desert! And I'm glad to hear you're in a relationship that's making you happy. In terms of talking about exclusivity, would you feel more comfortable telling him in person? And what if you came at it from a very direct, open angle? So, saying y...
by MusicNerd
Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:46 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Exclusivity?
Replies: 22
Views: 4764

Exclusivity?

Hi all! Hope y’all are doing okay given the state of the world ❤️ So, I met a guy on a dating app, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months, and we text each other every day. Things seem to be going well and I really like him. :) We live in neighboring states, so given that + covid, most o...
by MusicNerd
Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:29 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Yep, nope! Gotta respect what your bodies are telling us. Pain generally is a message to stop, slow down or change what we're doing in some way, not press on. :) Yeahhh, fair enough! I’ll be more mindful of that in the future, because it’s no fun feeling sore for a while after lol And yeah, the bus...
by MusicNerd
Thu Mar 04, 2021 12:57 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Heya. So, it might be a matter of needing to get used to it, yes. Especially if you're tensing up when you're doing this -- which is a pretty common thing to do -- instead of staying relaxed -- a thing you learn to do -- that can be one common reason for the kind of discomfort you're describing. He...
by MusicNerd
Thu Mar 04, 2021 12:16 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Hey! So, I have a bit of an update re: figuring out best practices for whatever-this-should-be-called, but I’m also running into an issue. This is kind of detailed, but here we go. Good news is that when I put in a smaller, partly-curved vibrator (that I completely forgot I had) it doesn’t hurt! I’m...
by MusicNerd
Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:24 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Thanks, Heather! Always appreciate your insight and support ❤️
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:27 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Truly, I'm 50, and I have been profoundly around, to put it politely, and you will very much still find me ruling out any partners who don't have the patience for the core parts of what makes for partners to assure us both at least semi-decent sexual experiences. The patience for both of us to lear...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 25, 2021 2:30 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Honestly, that’s a very good point! haha :)
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 25, 2021 1:45 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

One other thing I want to add is this: I actually haaaaaaate the term "penetration" for consensual vaginal sex, and for a lot of reasons. But one biggie is that it's a misnomer, and a misnomer that I feel like can make us conceptualize it in a way that can make it more difficult. Sorry, d...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 25, 2021 1:41 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

It does. So, this could be a few things. It might actually be an issue of you going at this in a way where you literally ARE hitting a wall -- your vaginal wall or your cervix. Coming in at the wrong angle can result in that, and it might be that this isn't happening with your fingers but is with a...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 25, 2021 1:10 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Penetration pain?
Replies: 23
Views: 6266

Re: Penetration pain?

Okay. And is it painful when you make the entry super gradual, rather than all of a sudden? In other words, if you build up to it, starting with, say, just stimulus around the vaginal opening, then something small just inside, then something just a little wider, etc? When I insert something slimmer...

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