Search found 22 matches

by flores2231
Tue Apr 27, 2021 9:00 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Feeling guilty
Replies: 21
Views: 29523

Re: Feeling guilty

I feel much more relieved now,

Thank you so much Scarleteen staff. These past few weeks have been stressful. Thanks for helping me out so much. My anxiety is always trying to find something new to freak out about. But seriously, I appreciate everything you all do thank you again
by flores2231
Tue Apr 27, 2021 7:09 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Feeling guilty
Replies: 21
Views: 29523

Re: Feeling guilty

Thank you for your response, I just feel guilty because in the friendship I was usually the one who was bossy because I was the oldest. I feel horrible because I would be always so mean and bossy to her. Not only that I think I may have guided her to do that sexual curious stuff with me. It makes me...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:01 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Feeling guilty
Replies: 21
Views: 29523

Feeling guilty

Hey scarleteen, I recently learned about COSCA (child on child sexual abuse). I feel horrible because I don't know if I did this with my friend when I was 6 years old and she was 3 or 4 years old. I remember a girl telling me at school that she saw on the TV, two people kissing each other's genitals...
by flores2231
Fri Apr 23, 2021 9:38 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Thank you LuC, I did talk to him. He said that he was okay with it and he doesn’t feel hurt or violated. I do remember asking why he didn’t want to that position and told him how I wanted to do it and suggested a pillow and we did it until his butt was hurting again lol. I am going to take time to f...
by flores2231
Thu Apr 22, 2021 7:54 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I'm so sorry if this post was long. I just feel like the worst human in the world. I remember this one time as well where my boyfriend and I were doing a sexual position and he at first didn't want to because his butt would hurt but then I told him he can use a pillow and he was fine with it and we ...
by flores2231
Thu Apr 22, 2021 2:46 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I think you are right. I keep doubting myself though because again I can't remember those memories for sure and I think that's understandable. I have two more questions though about coercion and I think I will be okay Let's say I say no and he kept asking and I say yes and I was okay when I said yes...
by flores2231
Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:31 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I think I figured some of my feelings out right now. I feel annoyed and bothered by the fact that when I said no he didn't take me seriously and would keep nagging. Another thing that also bothers me is that when I said I was paranoid as well he would reassure me and tell me it's okay. I would still...
by flores2231
Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:10 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I don't want my experiences to be swept under the rug. I'm scared that I just dismiss them and I end up finding out it coercion
by flores2231
Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:07 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I'm sorry but I am confused. I am trying to figure out if he did sexually coerced me because that's what I've been struggling with so much. I feel like that's the only way I can move forward. I do have an idea of what you are trying to say though. I feel like it is up to me to really figure if it wa...
by flores2231
Wed Apr 21, 2021 4:07 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I'm just concerned. I feel less alone the fact that you also have GAD but this is so difficult to process to be honest. Because it does sound like coercion. He did it multiple times to it's more of a pattern and not a one time thing yk? But sometimes my brain is scared to process this. I keep thinki...
by flores2231
Wed Apr 21, 2021 10:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

ahhh im doubting to break up with him again. I feel like a hypocrite and guilty. I used to smack my boyfriend's butt when he would say stop to annoy him. I feel terrible about myself. I think I also kept asking him to make out with me one time as a joke and then told him that it's okay if he didn't ...
by flores2231
Tue Apr 20, 2021 1:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Thank you for your kind words, It does feel nice not gonna lie! It's like I'm gaining control back. I feel proud because I always struggled to stand up for myself and now here I am doing it. I'm definitely having some character development moment :)). I was also planning to tell him that I am going ...
by flores2231
Tue Apr 20, 2021 12:19 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Well I still don't know when to do it. I don't have the guts and courage to do it now. I keep thinking about how he would react and how guilty he would feel. I would also think about how his friends could possibly dislike me and there could be rumors going around the school. Another part of me is li...
by flores2231
Tue Apr 20, 2021 7:28 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

He admitted his mistake and said it was dumb of him to do that looking back at it now and he apologized and stuff like that. I feel a bit better the fact he acknowledge his mistake and apologized but obviously that doesn't excuse what he did and how much hurt and trauma it gave me. I think that sayi...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:08 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

He did acknowledge his mistake. I just feel anxious. I don't want to think of him as a rapist or a bad guy. This is so hard to accept
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:45 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

I feel really hurt that it is. Is it bad that I still love him and think he's a good guy because he had no intentions?
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:12 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

One more thing, I am still confused. Because he did keep pushing my no and when I did end up doing it sometimes I was okay with it. Don't know if that is still coercion but I think so? Anyways, thank you for educating me and the articles. I'm definitely going to stock up on fruit because usually whe...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:45 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Oh yeah I'm just scared because some victims of assault do go into a state of depression and denial and PTSD. All of that really scares me. I don't want to go through that.
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:41 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Thank you again, Those words really reassured me because I did feel like I was crazy for being confused to only find out it's a common and normal reaction. Sometimes he did push my no and I did it but sometimes I was okay with it I don't know it's a hard thing to remember. I just did it because he w...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:16 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

And I also need help on how to cope with this. Because if it is coercion, I don't know how am I gonna cope with it. I do have a therapist but I'm scared of her making a report because I don't want to. I have been letting all my feelings out. Im just anxious how badly this is going to affect me espec...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 2:54 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Re: Need some comfort

Sometimes I also doubt myself. Some thoughts in my head appear such as "what if it wasn't sexual coercion?" "am I overreacting?" "I do have anxiety so I could be overreacting?" "What if I give him another chance?" "Should I just stay?" "What If ...
by flores2231
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 10686

Need some comfort

I think I should break up with my boyfriend but I'm pretty upset. I do have my reasons. He thought it was funny to keep nagging after I said no or was hesitant when it came to kissing and giving him blowjobs which I did end up doing it anyway. He would also sometimes reassure me when I was paranoid ...