Search found 136 matches

by Emily N
Thu Jan 20, 2022 8:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Unhealthy relationship?
Replies: 15
Views: 447

Re: Unhealthy relationship?

Hi waterhyacinth! Did you have a chance to look at the article Sian sent? Age gaps in a relationship don’t inherently have to mean that the relationship is inappropriate. But secrecy, being underage at the start of the relationship, and imbalances in power are concerning. You also mentioned that “he...
by Emily N
Thu Jan 20, 2022 7:33 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Can't Find My Clit/Labia Really Sensitive
Replies: 1
Views: 73

Re: Can't Find My Clit/Labia Really Sensitive

Hi shovel, If it helps to hear, you are not alone - many people have questions about how to find their clitoris or whether their vulva is “normal”. Vulvas are all so unique that there’s really no such thing as normal! (If you are interested, this article shows *some* of the variety possible in vulva...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 18, 2022 11:04 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1537

Re: Unwanted crush

I guess it’s not so much “worrying” as it is just giving space to whatever thoughts about the subject rise up for you. So if it’s more helpful to call it “ruminating” or “thinking about” instead of worrying, go ahead! There’s no one way that you have to process your thoughts in this space, and no re...
by Emily N
Thu Jan 13, 2022 8:49 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1537

Re: Unwanted crush

All of your questions and anxieties are so so valid! Questioning your feelings and overanalyzing your feelings and reactions to your feelings is an understandable reaction, especially when it comes to something as special as your self identity. I hope you can give yourself space to be kind to yourse...
by Emily N
Thu Jan 13, 2022 7:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Extreme shallow vagina. Is there something wrong with me?
Replies: 9
Views: 339

Re: Extreme shallow vagina. Is there something wrong with me?

Hi Irissy, You are definitely not alone! Many people find it difficult or uncomfortable to insert anything into their vagina, or describe their vagina as very “tight”. For a longer response to your post, someone else asked a very similar question in this advice column. Here is a quick summary: It is...
by Emily N
Thu Jan 13, 2022 7:45 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Feeling Uncomfortable Post-Orgasm
Replies: 7
Views: 245

Re: Feeling Uncomfortable Post-Orgasm

Hi bessie09, welcome to the boards! I’m sorry you have been struggling with feelings of panic and anxiety after orgasm, that sounds really difficult. You mentioned that this feeling has been happening in recent months - did you experience this at all before, or can you think of anything in your life...
by Emily N
Thu Jan 13, 2022 7:24 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I don't know if I'm being dramatic
Replies: 1
Views: 73

Re: I don't know if I'm being dramatic

Hi Strangerdanger, The short answer is, no you are NOT being dramatic! And I’m sorry you are dealing with this. From this article , “It is sexual assault ANY time one person does not want to be engaging in any kind of sex and another person does it to them anyway without their consent and against th...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 11, 2022 1:01 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1537

Re: Unwanted crush

You definitely aren’t bothering anyone here! (And besides, it’s REALLY hard to do that at Scarleteen - someone has to be intentionally mean or disrespectful to get to that point.) I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious about being “not good with people” or “bothering” people. As for your brother’s comment...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 11, 2022 11:28 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Unwanted crush
Replies: 64
Views: 1537

Re: Unwanted crush

It can be hard to truly lean into finding support from others, but we all definitely deserve it! And the more we actually ask for support, the better we are at modelling it for others :) As Heather said above, whether it be continuing this conversation, or starting a new one, you're always welcome t...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 04, 2022 1:24 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Masterbating
Replies: 114
Views: 2699

Re: Masterbating

It's possible for the person with a uterus to use ovulation predictor kits or learn cues from their body to get a better idea of when they could be ovulating, but it's not really possible to know the exact day a person is ovulating.
by Emily N
Tue Jan 04, 2022 1:16 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I am unexperienced, he is not.
Replies: 3
Views: 154

Re: I am unexperienced, he is not.

It could be that just starting out with a thoughtful and open conversation about sex, without any expectations that it will lead to sex in the near future, could be a good place to start to better understand some of your anxieties. “I think I would just confront him directly, and tell him everything...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 04, 2022 1:06 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexual Coercion
Replies: 1
Views: 144

Re: Sexual Coercion

Hi confusedperson, It is true that consent has to be enthusiastic from all people engaged, regardless of (and often we should be especially cognizant of) gender and age differences, and coercion is never okay. It sounds like now you have a better understanding of why it’s not okay to keep asking som...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 04, 2022 11:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: what's normal + how to go further
Replies: 5
Views: 223

Re: what's normal + how to go further

Hi theatreluvin, That makes sense! Like Sam said, there’s no specific length of time that’s “right” to say I love you for the first time. If you feel comfortable with it and want to say it, that’s okay! But I don’t believe that there is a “too late and miss my chance” situation! If you decide to say...
by Emily N
Tue Jan 04, 2022 10:52 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I am unexperienced, he is not.
Replies: 3
Views: 154

Re: I am unexperienced, he is not.

Hi Len.123! You mentioned that because you have not had sex with your boyfriend yet, it’s a “big problem”. There should never be a rush to have sex if it doesn’t feel right to you. When you say that you don’t understand “why he is still around”, maybe it would be helpful to think about all the amazi...
by Emily N
Fri Dec 31, 2021 8:56 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Masterbating
Replies: 114
Views: 2699

Re: Masterbating

Basically, sperm cells (which can fertilize an egg) are able to move out of the penis, regardless of the size of the penis, through the fluid called “semen” during ejaculation. Ejaculation usually occurs after orgasm, and provides that “push” of semen through the urethra. Sperm cells also have a spe...
by Emily N
Fri Dec 31, 2021 8:05 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: I can’t find my clit and I don’t feel any sexual pleasure when I try to masturbate
Replies: 16
Views: 8475

Re: I can’t find my clit and I don’t feel any sexual pleasure when I try to masturbate

Hi Guacamole, I’m sorry it’s been so uncomfortable! Have you tried using lube during penetration? Were you able to talk to your gynecologist about the discomfort you feel inserting a tampon and diva cup? I also want to check in - do you feel like sexual pleasure is something you actively want to pur...
by Emily N
Wed Dec 22, 2021 11:50 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: how to move on
Replies: 9
Views: 218

Re: how to move on

Hi idk anymore,
I’m glad you’re still able to see a therapist. What kind of things do you find most helpful to talk about with your therapist? Is there a reason you don’t feel comfortable talking about the way you are feeling and struggling to move on?
by Emily N
Wed Dec 22, 2021 9:13 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: does my cup travel up?
Replies: 4
Views: 168

Re: does my cup travel up?

Hi iloveeveryone, Oof that sounds difficult, I’m sorry! Two thoughts come to mind, but let me know if you’ve tried them. 1) Make sure the cup is the right size, or perhaps using a longer-stemmed cup could be helpful. 2) You can also try different folds of the cup while inserting it to see if the way...
by Emily N
Wed Dec 15, 2021 7:28 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 40
Views: 1096

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

“You’d think after having anxiety (specifically OCD) my entire life I’d be able to notice this kind of thinking as soon as it happens— but alas, anxiety is sneaky like that sometimes!” Ohhh yeah, I also feel like I’m constantly learning something new about my mental health and how it plays a role i...
by Emily N
Wed Dec 08, 2021 8:47 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: South Asian Indian Identity
Replies: 3
Views: 394

Re: South Asian Indian Identity

Hi spottedowl, Thank you for sharing your story, I’m sorry to hear how painful it has been to cope with other people’s comments and criticisms of your friendships, interests, and identity. You’re right - absolutely no one should have the power to “make you feel weird about your identity” or affect y...
by Emily N
Wed Dec 08, 2021 7:57 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Medication
Replies: 4
Views: 236

Re: Medication

Hi aven1861! That’s awesome, I’m glad you are taking this step for yourself! When I started a medication, I was nervous too - it’s not something that ever felt like an option when I talked to my family members about mental health. I was lucky that I had a therapist I really clicked with, so it was h...
by Emily N
Wed Dec 08, 2021 7:36 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: dark skin around vulva and anus
Replies: 1
Views: 162

Re: dark skin around vulva and anus

Hi miamoos! There is a very wide range of shapes, sizes, and colors of labia, so what you’re describing is not at all surprising! The color of labia can also change through puberty, so you might have experienced this. I really recommend reading this article, “Give’em Some Lip” , as it touches on bot...
by Emily N
Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:35 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 40
Views: 1096

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

That sounds like a good plan, talking about it with your therapist could be really helpful! It’s okay (probably even helpful) to start slowly with reconnecting with them to get a sense of where you both are first. You don’t have to jump into the hardest conversation! (I wish there was a less vulnera...
by Emily N
Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:57 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 40
Views: 1096

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

Also, I expressed how I appreciated them letting me know how they felt, but I didn’t express to them why I wasn’t okay with how things ended… but maybe I should at some point? I’m not sure. Oh gotcha! If you don't think it's helpful to share, you aren’t obligated to express your feelings with how t...
by Emily N
Wed Nov 24, 2021 8:08 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Am I being too dramatic or was it sexual assault?
Replies: 1
Views: 161

Re: Am I being too dramatic or was it sexual assault?

Hi carson_meow, From this article , “It is sexual assault ANY time one person does not want to be engaging in any kind of sex and another person does it to them anyway without their consent and against their will.” So no, you are NOT being too dramatic, and I’m so sorry you had this experience. In t...

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