Search found 154 matches

by Emily N
Thu Jun 23, 2022 5:28 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: What brings you euphoria? A question for all!
Replies: 3
Views: 172

Re: What brings you euphoria? A question for all!

I love this question! Living with other queer people, I have been supported in exploring my gender identity and expression the past year. I had mentioned to my housemates that I was interested in trying a different, more gender neutral name. Without even asking, one of them switched immediately and ...
by Emily N
Wed Jun 15, 2022 3:32 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: coming out struggles
Replies: 29
Views: 793

Re: coming out struggles

Hi harry-p59, I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing? Did you have a chance to talk with the counselor or social worker?
by Emily N
Thu May 05, 2022 4:02 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 78
Views: 1683

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

It’s understandable to not know how to proceed with the relationship - you love this person, you have spent years with this person, and most of it was caring and healthy. It’s hard to end something like that, even if right now she is treating you so poorly. From your posts, it sounds like you alread...
by Emily N
Thu Apr 28, 2022 5:58 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Struggling to feel at home
Replies: 5
Views: 605

Re: Struggling to feel at home

I hear you about shopping for clothes, it can be really emotionally difficult. I like that idea of wearing comfortable clothes :) The other thing I'd say is to remember/try not to be upset at yourself for feeling "weird" or like you "don't belong" in your body. I hope you can get...
by Emily N
Thu Apr 28, 2022 5:13 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Struggling to feel at home
Replies: 5
Views: 605

Re: Struggling to feel at home

Hi Raffles, I’m sorry you’re struggling to feel “at home” in your body. And I’m doubly sorry that you feel like you have to “conform” to get interviews!! (but I’m also doing the same thing right now by not getting the haircut I want until after I get a job, so it would be hypocritical of me to tell ...
by Emily N
Thu Apr 28, 2022 4:32 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Thinking About My Relationship Never Feels Good
Replies: 11
Views: 561

Re: Thinking About My Relationship Never Feels Good

Hi sandpiper, welcome back! This is a lot to be working through in a relationship <3 I'm sorry to hear your sexual and experiences with your partner have felt unbalanced. While you might enjoy performing acts that center your partner’s pleasure, but sex should never feel one sided. It’s great that y...
by Emily N
Sun Apr 24, 2022 9:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do u know if it actually was an assault?
Replies: 12
Views: 617

Re: How do u know if it actually was an assault?

I'm glad it was helpful! But, yeah, it's an important thing to be able to recognize that no one person's actions alone can heal someone of trauma and that healing takes time.
by Emily N
Sun Apr 24, 2022 9:01 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 78
Views: 1683

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

Hi Mixxes, welcome to Scarleteen! I’m sorry to hear about the way your partner reacted when you shared your feelings. I would recommend this article, “Relationship Structure and Troubleshooting: Navigating Poly Relationships” . One line that stood out to me: “It’s perfectly normal to ask your partne...
by Emily N
Thu Apr 21, 2022 3:55 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do u know if it actually was an assault?
Replies: 12
Views: 617

Re: How do u know if it actually was an assault?

I’m so sorry to hear that. Here are some ideas for helping your boyfriend: - I like this resource as a starting off point: "What to say to a rape or sexual abuse survivor." - Most importantly, believe him, and do not blame him for what happened. - Ask him if there are ways that you can sup...
by Emily N
Thu Apr 21, 2022 3:34 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How / when should I tell my friend I'm in love with / want to date her?
Replies: 10
Views: 574

Re: How / when should I tell my friend I'm in love with / want to date her?

It’s brave to do something that is both emotionally vulnerable and something you’ve never done before! And it makes sense to get advice from others when doing something new, it definitely helps me with my confidence. And there’s no rush to proclaim your feelings if that’s what you decide, the nice t...
by Emily N
Thu Mar 31, 2022 3:46 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!
Replies: 21
Views: 1252

Re: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!

It’s more than fine not to know which label feels right! Like Sam said, our sexualities aren’t finite and unchangeable - as we go through life, we can decide which label feels better for us at the time (if any label). In deciphering what pansexual and bisexual mean, this article is great - “What’s T...
by Emily N
Thu Mar 31, 2022 3:26 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Understanding abuse
Replies: 38
Views: 3959

Re: Understanding abuse

Hi there, I would not describe these situations as directly abusive. The “silent treatment” becomes more abusive when it is used as a way to manipulate another person’s emotions. It sounds like in the end of the situation with your friend, you were able to communicate your feelings with her. It also...
by Emily N
Thu Mar 24, 2022 10:04 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Porn snd surviving abuse
Replies: 3
Views: 420

Re: Porn snd surviving abuse

I agree, it can be really difficult to untangle the sources of our own shame surrounding sex. I’m going to guess that most everyone, including people who are sex-positive, still feel sources of shame or influence from "purity culture". Ultimately, if something doesn’t make you feel good, i...
by Emily N
Tue Mar 15, 2022 4:32 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Feels like Ejaculate is Stuck in my Urethra
Replies: 13
Views: 2425

Re: Feels like Ejaculate is Stuck in my Urethra

Hi, I’m so sorry you came out of your appointment feeling like your doctor didn’t listen to or address your concerns! Good for you for organizing and expressing your concerns - unfortunately, patients often have to advocate for themselves hard in order to be listened to, and that’s not fair. And you...
by Emily N
Tue Mar 15, 2022 4:27 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can't orgasm with my boyfriend
Replies: 5
Views: 1154

Re: Can't orgasm with my boyfriend

Hi melanie420, That’s frustrating, I’m sorry! It’s so hard to just “make yourself aroused” when you’re just not, even if you really want to be! It’s especially hard when we start to feel any expectations about how we “should” be feeling during sex. Hmm, I’m trying to think of some new ideas… Let me ...
by Emily N
Tue Mar 15, 2022 3:28 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: High Sex Drive?
Replies: 8
Views: 3760

Re: High Sex Drive?

Hey, Beginning to masturbate because of curiosity is a very common way that people begin to explore their sexuality, and it’s okay to want to continue masturbating! How much we desire to masturbate is often out of our control, and there are many biological factors that drive our desire for masturbat...
by Emily N
Thu Mar 10, 2022 4:15 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Getting tears in eyes
Replies: 12
Views: 1478

Re: Getting tears in eyes

Hi there, Do you mind sharing a bit more about what you mean by “tears in your eyes” and the feeling of panic? Do the tears feel more like an involuntary physical response or more similar to an emotional response? Being fingered, and having sex in general, can be intense both physically and emotiona...
by Emily N
Thu Mar 03, 2022 4:56 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: My most recent ex: Was I Acephobic or just incompatible?
Replies: 18
Views: 5356

Re: My most recent ex: Was I Acephobic or just incompatible?

Hi BuddyBoi21, I think it’s okay to label your desire to incorporate physical intimacy into your relationships however you want to - if it feels restrictive to call sex or physical intimacy a “need”, then it’s okay to use whatever language feels most applicable to you. The most important thing is th...
by Emily N
Tue Feb 15, 2022 6:07 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How do you Practice Setting Boundaries?
Replies: 6
Views: 1899

Re: How do you Practice Setting Boundaries?

Wow, it’s really true that so often people don’t know that they deserve boundaries! I also am going to try to take your lead, Theansweris42, and try to recognize when other people do a good job setting boundaries - it’s good to learn from others :) I live in a house with five other people, so I’m le...
by Emily N
Tue Feb 15, 2022 5:50 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Cannot orgasm anymore
Replies: 63
Views: 8499

Re: Cannot orgasm anymore

Ahhh I love that mantra so much!! Yes, hype yourself up!! (It's also okay that you have moments when it's more difficult to do this, as long as you can keep coming back to it eventually :) )
by Emily N
Tue Feb 15, 2022 4:44 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: My nipples keep changing?
Replies: 1
Views: 1245

Re: My nipples keep changing?

Hi a369, What you are describing sounds very much like what many people with breasts experience! Areolas and nipples change over time quite a bit, especially when we go through puberty and they grow. There is a lot of variation on the size and shape and color of the areola and nipple between differe...
by Emily N
Tue Feb 15, 2022 4:25 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Cannot orgasm anymore
Replies: 63
Views: 8499

Re: Cannot orgasm anymore

Hi Rubix, I’m sorry you are struggling to find pleasure in masturbation. But I 1000% agree with Sam and Elise - I want you to be able to decouple your feelings of frustration from the idea that you are a “sexual failure”. You are clearly dedicating so much effort to find self pleasure again and feel...
by Emily N
Thu Feb 10, 2022 5:51 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Cannot orgasm anymore
Replies: 63
Views: 8499

Re: Cannot orgasm anymore

Hi Rubix, That’s wonderful news about your therapist, and having a space to brainstorm relearning sexual pleasure! I love the mindset of removing orgasm as a goal from masturbation, and instead focusing on pleasure. I’m sorry you’re experiencing barriers to connecting with other trans folks in real ...
by Emily N
Thu Feb 10, 2022 5:07 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Period 2 weeks early?
Replies: 3
Views: 1564

Re: Period 2 weeks early?

I agree with Siân that it likely isn't too much to be concerned about, especially if your period wasn't extremely regular before! It sounds like a good plan to wait a bit to see if anything changes, and to get in touch with your doctor if it starts to impact your life significantly (abnormal pain or...
by Emily N
Thu Feb 10, 2022 4:35 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Agender in the professional world
Replies: 14
Views: 4805

Re: Agender in the professional world

Hi Raffles, This all sounds like a super frustrating situation! It’s so irritating when someone presents as an ally with GSA shirts and apologies, but isn’t putting in the actual work to be an ally - it feels like they already believe they are doing all the right things, so don’t have to keep learni...

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