Search found 287 matches

by Carly
Fri Dec 02, 2022 8:50 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm 13 and struggling with kink/BDSM
Replies: 4
Views: 98

Re: I'm 13 and struggling with kink/BDSM

Hey awhiskandalamp -- welcome to the boards! There's a lot here that we can talk about with your post, let's first address the main question. We frequently see what you're describing with other young people interested in BDSM on our boards, which is knowing what you want or want to try, but not bein...
by Carly
Tue Nov 29, 2022 10:50 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Need help with relationship
Replies: 1
Views: 82

Re: Need help with relationship

Hey hnnhlk -- ultimately the answer is with you, we're unable to tell you how you feel. We can, however, help you sort out those feelings and give you some resources. If you're feeling hurt, communicating this is always the way to go. What I'm hearing is a lack of understanding of consent and bounda...
by Carly
Sun Nov 27, 2022 7:49 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: how to stop being horny
Replies: 5
Views: 196

Re: how to stop being horny

Hey purple_triangle -- can you explain a little more about when you feel awkward or guilty looking at non-sexual content while you're having these feelings? Does that compare or have any connection at all with having intrusive thoughts?
by Carly
Sun Nov 27, 2022 7:16 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that
Replies: 15
Views: 431

Re: I need penetration to reach orgasm and I'm unhappy about that

Hey Anne -- maybe we can start by hearing what hobbies you have already that need supplies? I think what would help with our brainstorming. Something that doesn't require any supplies that I've really relied on the last few years has been going on nice long walks to relax. Do you live in an area tha...
by Carly
Sun Nov 27, 2022 7:04 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: My bf broke up with me but not really?
Replies: 5
Views: 3647

Re: My bf broke up with me but not really?

Hey YellowPamonha -- it sounds like you're on the right track to move on. Is there anything else that you'd like to talk through with us about this?
by Carly
Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:58 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 701

Re: Fetish/kink

Hey Mop -- I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge the bravery of sharing this information with us, especially because it's been making you feel distressed. As far as acceptance goes, I think the first thing to maybe start with is thinking about why it makes you feel so bad. When you first tal...
by Carly
Fri Nov 25, 2022 9:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Possible HiV exposure
Replies: 7
Views: 190

Re: Possible HiV exposure

Hey Samuel B -- the chance of getting HIV in this scenario hinges on whether or not the person you were having sex with also has HIV. If both of you are HIV negative, then transmission simply cannot occur. If this person did have HIV, vaginal sex is a pretty high risk activity. Though the risk is re...
by Carly
Fri Nov 25, 2022 9:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 701

Re: Fetish/kink

Hey Mop -- I think Heather is asking for some additional information about the fetish/kink that is distressing you; what it is, for example. We've been able to move along in the thread speaking vaguely about it but for more specific or specialized help we would need to know more from you.
by Carly
Tue Nov 22, 2022 10:55 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 146
Views: 28288

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Hey 42 -- thanks for clarifying that stuff and putting it all in one post. It was definitely helpful in jogging my memory of what we've talked about in this thread. I agree, talking to your mom's friend is perhaps not the best way to address these issues. It doesn't sound like she's exactly qualifie...
by Carly
Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:53 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Grieving an identity
Replies: 9
Views: 498

Re: Grieving an identity

Hi Raffles -- before any of us dive into the advice you're looking for, I'd like to ask a few questions about how you've been feeling about this so we can understand a little more and give, hopefully, some very detailed and specific advice. You've mentioned some of this in threads before, especially...
by Carly
Wed Nov 16, 2022 11:06 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 146
Views: 28288

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Hey again 42 -- remind me, what kind of mental health support do you have in your life? Do you see a therapist? I reckon I or someone else has asked this before, but we have quite a long thread going now. And, if it's been a while since we talked about it, it might be a good time for an update. I as...
by Carly
Wed Nov 16, 2022 9:30 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Choosing pronouns
Replies: 7
Views: 374

Re: Choosing pronouns

Hey Raffles -- something your post did for me was make me realize that I never really thought about my pronouns and if they're the ones I even want. I'm a cisgender woman and I use she/her - that's because it's just what everyone used to refer to me since I was born. I do think I feel the most conne...
by Carly
Sun Nov 13, 2022 8:15 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Accepting my sexuality
Replies: 146
Views: 28288

Re: Accepting my sexuality

Hey 42 -- I remember you talking about this issue of feeling uncomfortable when a teacher asks about how you're feeling before. I think the first thing to keep in mind here is that they're likely checking in because they care about you, not because they think you're causing trouble. I can't speak fo...
by Carly
Fri Nov 11, 2022 10:16 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Clarification Question
Replies: 13
Views: 4551

Re: Clarification Question

Hi Adam224 -- up top I want to be very frank with you about what I'm seeing in your posts here and in other threads. I know that you've said that you're asking these questions not out of anxiety but for understanding, however... something I want to point out is that we have explained why pregnancy i...
by Carly
Fri Nov 11, 2022 9:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Advice for safe sex
Replies: 9
Views: 5257

Re: Advice for safe sex

Hi Adam224 -- because your question is so similar to your own thread, I'm going to ask that we continue this conversation there instead of here so that we don't have two separate conversations going about the same thing with you. A reply to that thread is forthcoming.
by Carly
Fri Nov 11, 2022 8:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetish/kink
Replies: 21
Views: 701

Re: Fetish/kink

Hi Mop -- welcome to the boards! I know this conversation started on our text service. As we said there, what we know actively trying to suppress or remove sexual interest in a particular thing isn't particularly effective. Would you feel comfortable explaining more about why having the fetish is di...
by Carly
Tue Nov 08, 2022 10:13 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex
Replies: 11
Views: 6351

Re: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex

Hi Henry -- thank you for being so open with us about this, it sounds very disorienting for you. Struggling with extreme dissociation and the connection to DID and false memories like you're describing is, unfortunately, out of our scope as volunteers and staff that specialize in sexual and reproduc...
by Carly
Sun Nov 06, 2022 7:49 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: best friend cut ties w me
Replies: 3
Views: 3745

Re: best friend cut ties w me

Hey Lyle -- I'm so sorry, I've also experienced a friend break up in my life and I know how confusing and painful it can be. I don't think there's any real timeline for being "over" what happened; you're allowed to take as much time as you need to process this. It sounds like you're coming...
by Carly
Sun Nov 06, 2022 7:21 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex
Replies: 11
Views: 6351

Re: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex

Hey again ReverseHivemind -- yes, totally agree that cats are amazing! Studies show that having pets has a great effect on your mental health. What other kinds of activities or things make you feel good?
by Carly
Sat Nov 05, 2022 12:35 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Clarification Question
Replies: 13
Views: 4551

Re: Clarification Question

Hey Adam224 -- I think what you're hitting on are the differences between high risk, low risk, and no risk situations. What you're describing was taken into account in writing the article; what Heather means is that ejaculation on those places is not an immediate cause for concern because of the way...
by Carly
Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:57 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation Questions
Replies: 11
Views: 6311

Re: Masturbation Questions

Hi Jo809 -- up top I wanted to suggest, if buying and keeping lube is something you're nervous about, you may want to try coconut oil. While I do prefer to advise the use of lubricants at that are made for sex and masturbation specifically, this alternative is safe for use and very unassuming when s...
by Carly
Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex
Replies: 11
Views: 6351

Re: I have a very high sex drive but I can't enjoy sex

Hey ReverseHivemind -- based on the symptoms you're describing, I'm wondering if you and your alter are experiencing depression. Loss of motivation, difficulty sleeping and eating, thinking about ending your life, and a fading feeling of enjoyment even from things you want to do or like to do are wh...
by Carly
Fri Oct 28, 2022 9:10 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 15
Views: 4907

Re: Masturbation

Hey Sienna -- yes, being able to use a dildo or two fingers while masturbating is normal. Do you have a specific concern about it? If there's a reason why you're thinking it could not be normal, let us know and we can address that specifically. As for anal masturbation, yes, it's possible to experie...
by Carly
Fri Oct 28, 2022 8:43 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: What does it mean for an asexual person to like me?
Replies: 1
Views: 1735

Re: What does it mean for an asexual person to like me?

Hey a369 -- asexuality is an orientation usually defined by a focus on romantic, aesthetic, spiritual, or physical intimacy, or on non-sexual friendship, rather than on sexual attraction or sexual intimacy. A very important thing to remember about asexuality, and sexual orientations in general, is t...
by Carly
Fri Oct 28, 2022 8:10 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: sex toys
Replies: 1
Views: 1620

Re: sex toys

Hey dreaminglucid -- I totally see where your concern is. I think it may be a good idea to try toy alternatives with devices you may already have or could possibly afford with more ease, like an electric toothbrush or small back massager. You can read about those options in our resource D.I.Y Sex To...

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