Search found 52 matches

by Raffles
Mon Dec 07, 2020 7:37 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I ended up just having a regular conversation with him. It is unlikely that we will ever meet in person again, so I am okay with things staying awkward as they are. I haven't, but it's mostly for a lack of looking if I am being honest. Things are very tricky r...
by Raffles
Fri Dec 04, 2020 8:08 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

It's been a while since I've posted on this thread, but the guy I came out to just messaged me out of the blue to ask how I am. I haven't been able to get over how our last conversation went, but I don't want to be rude. It's just all so awkward right now.
by Raffles
Mon Nov 23, 2020 6:45 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

Looking back, it's kind of funny. Up until about 7th grade, I was a super happy kid and happy with how I presented. I identified as "tomboy," wore exclusively t-shirts and boy's shorts/pants. I had long hair that I rarely brushed, but insisted that it stay long. As I got to later middle sc...
by Raffles
Sat Nov 21, 2020 3:43 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

That's a very good point. I think part of the problem is that I'm not sure what I want to look like. I really don't think I'll know what I want until after I have it, which is time consuming. I'm trying to enjoy experimentation, but I'd really love to get to a point where I feel like I'm affirming m...
by Raffles
Fri Nov 20, 2020 1:40 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

A little bit of both, I think. A part of me says that I should be happier and never want long hair again if I were really agender (which I know isn't true). The other part of me is definitely worried that people will be even less willing to see me as an agender person if I have long hair again.
by Raffles
Fri Nov 20, 2020 8:45 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

I am back, once again! Since cutting my hair short, I've realized that hair length doesn't actually change how people see me. I am still continually misgendered as a woman. I don't really know what to do from here. I'm thinking about growing out my hair again, but I'm afraid that it will make me see...
by Raffles
Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:07 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Aromanticism
Replies: 1
Views: 573

Aromanticism

Hello everyone! I've identified as aseuxal for a good chunk of time now, and I'm happy with that. I consider myself to be sex neutral-to-favorable, and I don't feel any tension with that. But now I think I might be aro as well? Is there something similar, like you can be aromantic but still want/enj...
by Raffles
Sun Oct 11, 2020 11:17 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: I'm worried about romantic attraction.
Replies: 12
Views: 1291

Re: I'm worried about romantic attraction.

Hi! I just wanted to pop in to say that you're normal! I'm also ace. I currently identify as panromantic, but I might be aro the more I think on it. I've had 2-3 crushes in my whole life (I'm 20). I really relate to what you said about wanting a relationship but not necessarily wanting to date. I to...
by Raffles
Mon Oct 05, 2020 11:01 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: What Constitutes Dysphoria? Does it End?
Replies: 5
Views: 1308

Re: What Constitutes Dysphoria? Does it End?

Hi! I don't have a ton to add, but I have one thing I'd like to share. I personally don't feel dysphoria all of the time. For me it's worse in specific situations, like when I see myself wearing a dress. I've also got a complicated relationship with my chest. I'm fine with the fact that I have breas...
by Raffles
Tue Sep 22, 2020 8:52 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

I think I'm venting because I don't see a great solution. I understand that the solution is probably standing up for myself, but I don't always have the energy to do so or know if it's safe. Any and all recommendations are always welcome!
by Raffles
Tue Sep 22, 2020 7:51 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

This particular case was a teacher that I'm observing (I'm studying to be a teacher so we sit in on their classes). I'm only working with him for about a month, so it's not that big of a deal. I wonder if asking people for different pronouns (or even identifying as agender) is worth it at all. I'd a...
by Raffles
Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:00 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

Also, when I've tried to be open, people just... forget? In an introductory email, I signed off with they/them pronouns. We met today, and he was like "ah yes Miss. Raffles, she/her." This has happened a few other times with a few other people too. So it's like even when I'm out, it doesn'...
by Raffles
Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:00 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

I'm only out to 4.5 people (the .5 is the person where it didn't go over well and I don't think he thinks of me as agender). All of them are out of state/country. The only friend we have in common is the one who rejected me. This was a very long and convoluted way to saying that I don't really have ...
by Raffles
Sat Sep 19, 2020 3:11 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

I'm back once again. I had a pretty bad coming out experience recently. I've got another friend who often greets me with "girly," and that's a tad dysphoric for me (because I don't really think I'm a girl). She's maybe a little more accepting (has a history of accepting binary trans people...
by Raffles
Sat Sep 12, 2020 12:21 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

Thank you for sharing! I wish you the best of luck on your presentation journey. It sounds like you've found a stylist that will get you. Feel free to update on this post if you'd like!
by Raffles
Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:06 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 5944

Re: Hair and Presentation

Hi everyone! It's been a while, so I thought I'd share an update. I'm back at school, and I had a chance to go to the queer-affirming haircut place last night. The stylist was very calm, didn't pry, but easy to talk to. We had a few conversations but mostly comfortable silence. She didn't assume wha...
by Raffles
Tue Sep 01, 2020 12:16 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Gender therapy resoruces
Replies: 3
Views: 457

Re: Gender therapy resoruces

That would be great, thanks!
by Raffles
Tue Sep 01, 2020 6:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Gender therapy resoruces
Replies: 3
Views: 457

Gender therapy resoruces

Hi! I hope this an okay use of this section of the message boards. Late last week, I shared some stuff I've been going through in regards to dysphoria and coming out, and Sam W mentioned being able to help point me in the direction of some resources including trans friendly therapists or options for...
by Raffles
Fri Aug 28, 2020 5:46 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

It's alright. I ended up emailing professors that specifically asked for pronouns as a part of our first day introduction. I am studying to be a teacher, and this is definitely an experience I'll continue to think about even when I'm in the field. Sometimes we do things to be more inclusive and they...
by Raffles
Fri Aug 28, 2020 11:38 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

I'll definitely take resources. I'm not sure exactly what my plan is yet, but it's good to know what's available. Thanks!
by Raffles
Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:37 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

Hello Sam! I'm glad I found scarleteen message boards. It's a good place to talk to others with similar experiences and a wealth of resources. There were a few moments that clicked into place for me. I remember one time in sixth grade when I described my style as "tomboy." The person I was...
by Raffles
Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:36 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

I'd like to start by apologizing for making yet another post. I'm writing tonight because I came out to a friend of mine and it went very strangely. I explained to him the above, how I experience dysphoria, and how it all makes sense why I've felt so detached from my body since middle school. His re...
by Raffles
Thu Aug 27, 2020 6:34 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 21
Views: 4742

Re: Coming out as agender?

Hey y'all, it's me again with coming out struggles. I started classes this week, and the professors have been really great about introducing themselves with pronouns which is great. But having to do introductions in front of my friends that I'm not out to is nerve wracking. It feels like I have to p...
by Raffles
Tue Aug 25, 2020 9:14 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Re: Disassociation and dysphoria?

Thanks! I think part of my problem is really not knowing how I want to look. I'm AFAB as well, but the AFAB non-binary "androgynous" stereotype isn't really for me. If I think about what I want to look like, I'd love to look like a woodland elf (strong jaw, long hair), lol. I have very fem...
by Raffles
Sat Aug 22, 2020 4:15 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Disassociation and dysphoria?
Replies: 13
Views: 4092

Disassociation and dysphoria?

Hi! I'm back with yet another question. I've kind of realized that I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm not very connected to my body. It's like driving a car: You know that you're in control of the car, and you have the sensation of the car moving, but you don't physically feel like a part of ...

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