Search found 27 matches

by Raffles
Sun Aug 02, 2020 5:49 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 9
Views: 1530

Re: Coming out as agender?

I recently heard someone refer to me with they/them pronouns for the first time. It wasn't the huge gender euphoria moment I was hoping for. In fact, it made me feel more like a fraud. Because I didn't experience euphoria, I feel like I'm not actually agender. On the other hand, every time people re...
by Raffles
Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:11 pm
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: Navigating Dating Beyond the Binary
Replies: 2
Views: 190

Re: Navigating Dating Beyond the Binary

Really loved this article! Thanks for sharing. I'm trying to figure out what dating means to me as an ace person and what it looks like as a newly out-ish agender person. Great resources!
by Raffles
Wed Jul 22, 2020 9:54 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Being Single is a Disease
Replies: 3
Views: 243

Re: Being Single is a Disease

I'm ace, so I can totally relate to struggling to find a relationship. Sometimes, it gets very lonely, especially when everyone else is in relationships. Being queer definitely comes with its added complications in finding a partner. Wishing you the best of luck!
by Raffles
Mon Jul 20, 2020 6:36 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Coping with Bad News
Replies: 5
Views: 271

Re: Coping with Bad News

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this. I found out the other day (while my dad was speaking to his sister on speaker phone) that a few of the people who work at my grandpa's senior home tested positive for COVID. He's a former smoker with COPD, asthma, and heart disease. If he was exposed, ...
by Raffles
Tue Jul 14, 2020 9:30 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Coping with Bad News
Replies: 5
Views: 271

Re: Coping with Bad News

I'm glad to hear that your friend recovered! With my friend who had it, it was a similar situation as you. We live in very different parts of the country. Honestly, that one hit me less hard, because you're right: There was very little I could have realistically done. Receiving bad news doesn't hit ...
by Raffles
Mon Jul 13, 2020 5:21 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Coping with Bad News
Replies: 5
Views: 271

Coping with Bad News

TW: This post contains mentions of cancer, death, and COVID-19. This is a bit of a long story in four-ish parts, but here it goes. It started about a year and a half ago in my freshman year of college. Thanksgiving break of that year, I met up with one of my coaches. She had started me on the sport ...
by Raffles
Mon Jul 06, 2020 10:45 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

Hi! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I don't want this to get too off topic, but I feel really weird about self-affirmations because I generally don't believe them. Like if I were to tell myself "I am doing enough," I'd immediately think of all the money I haven't donated or the art...
by Raffles
Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:51 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Coming out??
Replies: 6
Views: 961

Re: Coming out??

I know that a lot of people test the waters by bringing up an unnamed friend or even a celebrity that has come out. That might be a good way to figure out where they stand. It also might give you a chance to dispell any myths they might believe beofre it's directed at you, if that makes any sense.
by Raffles
Thu Jul 02, 2020 8:48 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

Thought I'd share an update- This current episode of alopecia areata was likely triggered by excessive amounts of stress (quarantine, protests, a friend of mine going through a break up, and so on). For me, this really made me realize that ally-ship does require a certain degree of self-care. I woul...
by Raffles
Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:38 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

I don't think so. He's a ER doc, so little problems like this aren't really on his radar (though I doubt he'd be happy if he started losing his hair). He also isn't really the emotionally supportive type or receptive to criticism. It's okay, though.
I'll make another update when there is one.
by Raffles
Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:04 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

Update/vent- I went to the dermatologist, and he confirmed my suspicions. He said it that the spot is still "active" which means that the autoimmune reaction is still going on. The hair loss usually occurs over just a few days, so the good news is that it hasn't grown larger. In past exper...
by Raffles
Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:53 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: A thread for non-Black allies
Replies: 8
Views: 1197

Re: A thread for non-Black allies

Same here, al. I'm a non-Black POC, and I've been having a hard time figuring out where I fit in to all of this (more complicated because I'm biracial, half of which is of European Jewish descent). Anti-Blackness in non-white communities is definitely complex because it's likely that that group face...
by Raffles
Thu Jun 04, 2020 8:27 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

Sure. Resources are never a bad thing. Thanks!
by Raffles
Wed Jun 03, 2020 3:33 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

I honestly wouldn't even know where to start with feeling/accepting emotions. It's a long-standing habit of mine to invalidate my feelings because I feel guilty for having them. I think this might be getting a bit off topic, so I'll stop until I have another (hopefully positive) update. I'm sorry th...
by Raffles
Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:18 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

I'm not out to a lot of people, including my hairdresser and my parents (that I'm currently living with). I can't fault him for thinking that I want to look feminine, especially because I've insisted on long hair in the past. I sent him pictures of what I wanted this hair cut to look like, and they ...
by Raffles
Wed Jun 03, 2020 7:56 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Re: Hair and Presentation

An update: I got my hair chopped, partly to change it up and partly to get over my fear of hair loss. I don't love it; it's in between a bob and pixie. Also the hairdesser always feels the need to reassure me that it's very "feminine and chic," which is not what I want. I'm probably going ...
by Raffles
Thu Apr 30, 2020 5:54 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 18
Views: 2022

Hair and Presentation

I'm agender, but I present (sort of) with the gender I was assigned at birth (female). I don't really view my clothes as gendered because it's usually just a t-shirt and jeans. I don't bind, but my chest is relatively flat to begin with. My face is quite feminine even though I don't wear makeup due ...
by Raffles
Tue Apr 28, 2020 8:46 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: POSITIVE TOPIC
Replies: 9
Views: 803

Re: POSITIVE TOPIC

I'm almost done with school for the year! This is my last week. I want to do lots of baking and cooking over summer break.
by Raffles
Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:06 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!
Replies: 2
Views: 1152

Re: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!

Thank you! This is exactly what I'm looking for, tbh. I don't have a huge chest to begin with, so this would be perfect for me!
by Raffles
Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:56 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Keeping in Touch
Replies: 5
Views: 737

Re: Keeping in Touch

I do like to meet people one-on-one, even though I’m a bit awkward. I always worry about running out of things to talk about, but I feel like one-on-one give much more room for deep discussion. I hope I can go out to lunch with some friends if/when things open again. I feel kinda stuck at the moment...
by Raffles
Thu Apr 16, 2020 8:20 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 464

Re: Slurs

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think you’re very brave for doing what’s right, even though it’s hard. I might caution against talking to him about the assault comments though. I would talk to the friend first to see what they want to do. You’re in a tough situation. I wish there were more usef...
by Raffles
Wed Apr 15, 2020 9:48 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 464

Re: Slurs

I'm in a similar boat. My dad occasionally calls me a racial slur but doesn't really get that it's a slur. I'm not as brave as you, so I haven't stood up to him. I think my biggest piece of advice is to keep affirming yourself. As others have said, you can't really change his actions, especially sin...
by Raffles
Tue Apr 14, 2020 9:04 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Keeping in Touch
Replies: 5
Views: 737

Re: Keeping in Touch

The thing that gets me over the hurdle of contacting people is just knowing that if I don't reach out, there is no way that we would get in touch. I'd rather try and not get a response than not try at all. It's also knowing that people don't have to respond or meet up. As for the importance of plato...
by Raffles
Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:20 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Keeping in Touch
Replies: 5
Views: 737

Keeping in Touch

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right section to ask this question because the others seem to be about romantic/sexual relationships, but this seemed like the closest category. For some background- I'm an introvert, and I generally keep to myself. But when I find someone that I click with, I re...
by Raffles
Wed Apr 08, 2020 3:25 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: Coming out as agender?
Replies: 9
Views: 1530

Re: Coming out as agender?

Helping students is what teaching is all about. I went to a small private school, and I did not have a single teacher of color from 6th grade through graduation. I had two gay teachers. That was it, and that lack of representation was really difficult for me as a young, queer, person of color. I fel...

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