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Politics

Managing Vulnerability & Sexual Insecurity

Worried asks:

Hi I'm 15 years old (male) and I want to wait till I find someone I really like before I have sex, but I want them to be a virgin too. I'm worried that if I wait too long all the pretty girls will have had sex and I won't be good at it yet, I'm worried that if they've already had sex that I won't be good enough for them, what should I do?

Big questions about gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual fantasy

Charlene asks:

(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.)

I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated. I am a late-to-mature sort of person anyway, and though I have researched and read up on sexuality (like I do for, er, everything), I'm not overtly sexual or want to be at this point in my life. Plus, from the moment I learned what the word meant, I have identified as a lesbian: so the dating pool ain't big in high school.

A few choice words about "tightness"

Mariah asks:

How long does it take for the "vagina opening" to get tight again after sex? A few days, a week? Do PC muscle exercises help? Say I hadn't had sex for about 5 months and then just had sex about a week ago, am I "looser" now then I would've been if I didn't have sex at all? And if so, how do I make it tight again and how long does it take? Is it already "tight" again...Does that even make sense!?? PLEASE HELP!!

I'm 13, and want to have sex: will it hurt?

Jamie asks:

I really want to have sex for the first time. But I am only thirteen. I know vaguely what to do and I know to use protection. But I was talking to my 17-year-old cousin (who has had sex before) if it hurt his girlfriend the first time. And he had said that she was screaming and she felt as if she wanted to die. This information scared me a little too much for comfort. I would like to know if it will hurt as much as he said it will or if he was just exaggerating. Thank you so much.

Can really different people really be together?

Leanne asks:

Is it possible for me to have a boyfriend who is a different age, color and personality than me?

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence.

The Audre Lorde Project

The Audre Lorde Project is a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two Spirit and Transgender People of Color center for community organizing, focusing on the New York City area. Through mobilization, education and capacity-building, we work for community wellness and progressive social and economic justice. Committed to struggling across differences, we seek to responsibly reflect, represent and serve our various communities.

All Girl Army

Ovathrow the status quo!

Kickaction

Girls and young women acting for social change

The Blank Noise Project

Eve Teasing, as the name suggests,is considered a joke, a prank. Eve Teasing is street sexual harassment. Blank Noise seeks to recognize eve teasing as street sexual harassment and establish it as an issue. Eve teasing may be normal, but is it acceptable? Blank Noise is a public and participatory art project working both online and on the streets of Bangalore, Mumbai , Delhi, Kolkata, Lucknow,Chennai and Hyderabad. We invite you to come along!

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