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Am I less of a man for waiting?

Miguel asks:

Hey there. I'm a 20-year-old male and I've been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend for about 3 years and 6 months and well ... we still haven't had sex. As weird as it seem it had never been a problem for me. We are both virgins and well, I just love her enough to wait. We've been together since I was 17 and back then well, sex wasn't that big of an issue.

But now that I'm 20, with college and going out and stuff, it's really starting to hurt my masculinity. I feel stupid really because I feel like by know it shouldn't be a big deal and it bothers me that it only gets to me when we are around other people, or when I'm watching sex advice shows on TV, or even just regular shows were sex life is a big deal.

I just would like to know two things:

  1. How can I deal with this thing? I mean is there like .. . some mental yoga or whatever method I can use to just go back to not caring that much about not having a sexual active life (which I've wanted since I'm like 15)
  2. How can I explain what I feel to my girlfriend? She doesn't really understand what I go through.

I'll be waiting for your answer. THANKS!

Lube and money: do I need them?

Anonymous asks:

I read through the checklist today and much of the "Material" items I do not have. Well, primarily the money. But since I live in a country where STD-testing is free 'till you turn 23 and very cheap after that and where abortion, pre-natal care and pretty much any health care you need is widely available and very cheap too, do I really need the money?

Another thing, do you have to use lube? Me and my boyfriend go without condoms (been monogamous since November last year..) and it feels amazing without lube...

My friend may need an abortion, but she has no money or family.

Anonymous asks:

A friend of mine is severely frightened that she might be pregnant, and I thought I would do a little research to help her out.

She recently had unprotected sex, but stopped halfway through, and neither party came. She knows that the risk there is pre-cum, and says that is why she is so frightened. Her menstruation cycle is not regular, sometimes she is 25 and sometimes 29, sometimes any number in between, but as she is getting closer to the day when she should start, she is freaking out. She thinks she is imagining the cramps, because they are not as strong as they used to be or not as long-lasting.

If she is pregnant, she wants to have an abortion. Her fiance is in the military and being deployed, and she wants to finish school. She is also very broke; where can I find information for her on free abortion clinics, or how to get help paying for an abortion? Her parents are very Catholic, and just recently disowned her because they couldn't all get along, so she has no emotional or financial support there. Any advice?

I think I'm addicted to taking pregnancy risks!

Anonymous asks:

I have a problem: I think I'm addicted to stress, or at least the relief when stress has passed. I'm a very overly paranoid person and yet I keep acting carelessly and doing risky things.

I don't want to get pregnant, I'm not on pills, and yet I'm always doing something sexual with my boyfriend.
- Sometimes I'll sit on his penis naked...him not in me, but me on his shaft.
- I've swallowed, kissed him and had him preform oral
- We have sex quite regularly although we always use new condoms and I check for tears right away
- Today I've probably done the stupidest thing of all....I've let him put his penis inside me unprotected (he urinated before hand to rid himself of any cum, it was for only a few seconds and he didn't move it much, and I put Purell inside myself after)

I know it was stupid! I dont know why I always do this to myself.I make myself sick with worry each and every time and yet I cannot control myself. I dont think I'm addicted to sex or anything, but I do think I'm hooked on stress. Have you ever heard such a stupid thing? I always do things that stress me out. I leave huge projects to the last minute, I've purposely made myself late for things. I don't much care about the everyday things but the sexual stress is whats concerning me. I literally say to myself "no more sex till I get on pills" and yet the next time I'm with my boyfriend, I practically force myself on him. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!

I dunno exactly what I'm asking but any advice would be appreciated...oh and whats the likelyhood of getting pregnant from what I described? I'd go and get plan b but unfortunately I don't think I have access to it.

Did he break my virginity with dry humping?

Anonymous asks:

I am a 23 year old virgin and have pledged to remain so until marriage. I recently had an intimate moment with one of my guy friends. I sat on his lap while he kissed my neck but he had an erection and I felt his pennis almost at the entrance of my vagina thought I had all my clothes including trousers on. We had agreed from the start that we wouldn't have penetration as that would break my virginity.

At some point he wanted to demonstrate to me the so-called "doggy style" and he did but still with my trousers tight on. However I did feel his erect pennis around my virginal area but no entrance. This was quite a vigorous activity and I did get well stimulated and wet and some bumps up and down!

All through this I did feel his erect pennis round my vagina even with my trousers on but didn't feel any penetration nor had any bleeding or pain afterwards. My concern is that could I have lost my virginity by any chance through this??

How can I give her an abortion?

Anonymous asks:

I had sex with a girl a week ago. She didn't say anything about contraceptives. After we had sex she said she wasn't on birth control. I asked her why she naver said anything? Anyhow I heard of a guy a few years ago who had the same problem. He took a bottle full of coke and turned her bottom up and poured the bottle into her vagina. I told her about this. She was willing to try it. So we did the deed. Is this a safe practice? If she misses her period would it be safe to learn how to use a coat hanger? It would be sterile. Is there somewhere you can learn to perform an abortion with a wire?

We waited for marriage... but it wasn't worth the wait.

Anonymous asks:

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

Is my vagina really loose?

Anonymous asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Every now and then he says that my vagina gets loose. I'm not doing anything for it to change sizes. He thinks I'm cheating on him and I'm not. I don't know what to do. I'm so speechless when he says whats going on, why is it like this. What am I supposed to say to him if I'm not doing anything? And what makes it feel different to him?

My friend and I are both virgins, but he isn't feeling good about it anymore.

Anonymous asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl looking for advice to give a (just-turned) 26 year old male. That sounds odd, but my best friend is 8 years older than I am, and we're both virgins. While I'm proud of my decision to wait, my friend has become increasingly insecure with his. As our friendship has progressed I've found that my words have become less comforting, I suppose because of the difference in age and gender. There is so much unspoken pressure on girls and their sexuality in our society- but with males it is so much more overt, and his increasing age only increases his shame. I can't go to an adult sexuality site for an answer because those are irrelevent to me, and you're my favorite internet source of advice and information, so I hope you can help me deal with my friend. How can I let him know that nothing is wrong with him, and how can I build his confidence? How can I avoid seeming condescending (especially with someone so much older than I am)? All of his friends have had sex, so there's a significant wall in the conversation whenever he tries to talk about it with them. I'm scared that that wall is growing between us, not because of a difference in experience, but, again, in age (and possibly gender). How can I approach him with this topic without him becoming defensive? How can I make sure he knows I'm there for him? In college he saved himself for a girl that led him on because she was afraid of her own sexuality, she's now a proud lesbian and they're close friends, but I think it makes him feel worthless and incapable of a real relationship. He's so good to his friends, how can I get him to let me be the friend he is? How can I protect him from self-destruction and stop the label "virgin" from ruling his life?

How could I check if I am still a virgin?

anonymous asks:

I just wanna ask could orgasm make me lose my virginity? How could I check if I am still a virgin?

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