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Sexual Identity

Parental Controls

Noodle asks:

I have been in a monogamous relationship with someone my age for two years. We have been sexually active for a year now. My parents are religious and conservative, and believe strongly that there is no place for sex outside of marriage and I shouldn't be committed to my boyfriend until I have graduated college, which I am attending now. I have a very close relationship with my parents and didn't want to have to keep up a facade of chastity, so I told my mom that my boyfriend and I have been having sex. She was very upset and it launched a 3 month ordeal of restructuring boundaries for my boyfriend and I and reestablishing trust with me. My parents insist they still like my boyfriend as a person, but they no longer want us to have anything to do with one another. My boyfriend and I go to different schools and are apart for months at a time. We were originally planning to visit one another, but my mother says that if he visits it will permanently damage their relationship with him and my relationship with them. Over winter break, we were not allowed to ride in the same car together unless there was an adult chaperoning us, and my parents made sure we spent just as much time with them as with his family. It was horrible, and my mental health really suffered. I want to be able to go back to having a free, adult relationship with my boyfriend, but I also want my parents to approve of him again. I am dreading going home, but I really want to be able to see my love again. Any advice would be very welcome.

Jealousy: Making Friends With a Green-Eyed Monster

How to tame those scary, growly feelings and use them for good.

Unlearning Unlovability

I hid my fears and insecurities by desexualizing myself. Now I'm on the path of uncovering ways to unlearn ugliness as an identity.

He Doesn't Want Sex Anymore. I Do. Now What?

chubbychickpea asks:

My partner and I have been dating for over a year now and have just begun to hit some rough patches. We used to have a lot of (what I thought was) really great sex. Then one day he told me that all that sex had been only mediocre for him. I was mortified and also ashamed because it felt like maybe he had never really want to have sex with me, he was just doing it because he knew I wanted to. Recently, he says that he might be asexual, but he isn't sure. He's trans and in the middle of transitioning, so he says his body is changing. He says masturbation "works wonders" for him, and he feels no sexual desire for me whatsoever. I've researched a/sexual relationships - the options are 1) me learning to like masturbation - I do, but it's not enough for me 2) him compromising to have sex, which reeks of non-consent and grosses me out 3) an open relationship, which isn't an option for either of us. I'm sexual. I want to feel sexy and desired and to have sex and everything that goes along with it. But if he isn't, what am I supposed to do? Right now the solution feels like I should just repress my libido so I won't need to have sex any more, but I don't even know if that's possible. I'm at an age where I'm being told left and right to assert myself as a woman, as a sexual person, as a queer person - but it seems like all of that's stopping now. If I'm not a sexual woman any more, I don't even know if I can consider myself a woman. That's right, this is potentially gender identity rocking for me. Please give me any and all advice. I'd appreciate it. - Sad, Confused, Terrified.

Don't Want to Have Sex?

Then don't! Here's a feast of support and help for those who want to say no, not now, or not-like-this to sex or sexual relationships.

同性恋与双性恋

許多青少年有很多問題,當涉及到同性戀及雙性戀。在一個文化,往往是如此確鑿的方向和異性戀之外的性身份,許多青少年變得緊張時,他們覺得吸引到那些同性,擔心自己可能是同性戀。其他懷疑(或者甚至是非常肯定),他們是同性戀或雙性戀,但都不敢這麼說是因為他們沒有完全確定,感覺他們將品牌以某種方式,或者僅僅是因為他們害怕被拒絕,被遺棄或通過他們的朋友,家人或社區挨罵。而至少有800萬人在美國是同性戀,大約有70億人仍然認為它是一個“疾病”或“變態”。

How do I behave sexually without someone thinking I'm a slut?

gorg.mel asks:

How do I text my significant other without coming off as a thot or a whore?

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