Relationships

How to Understand, Identify and Make Choices About Desire

What does desire feel like, and how does feeling desire -- or not feeling it -- have an impact on sex or masturbation? Is it okay to feel strong desire, low levels of desire, or even no desire? We aim to answer your most pressing questions on sexual or erotic desire.

STI Testing, Safer Sex Social How-Tos, Fresh Starts and a Bittervention

frenchiemathwhiz
asks:
Heather: I have a question about STD testing, but it's together with a lot of other stuff, so I'm giving you some of the whole story. My long-term boyfriend just broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue. We were together for several of the most tumultuous years of our lives—we dealt with so much stuff, I can't even describe it....

My boyfriend is too stressed out to have sex. What can I do?

aprasad
asks:
I'm 21 and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We go to the same university and have practically been living together in the same on-campus apartment for one and a half years. As our relationship has progressed, we've begun to have less and less sex. Neither of us initiates because we're always tired or stressed out....

Big love, but an equally big sexual disconnect

Dan10
asks:
I'm 20 and I've been talking to this girl for a couple months and she's amazing. When I'm with her all of my pain and suffering that I go through daily is gone. She takes it away with a little smile. She says I'm everything she wants in a guy and I make her happy except when we start becoming intimate....

Oral sex doesn't affect me. Is this normal?

Fairydomain
asks:
When my boyfriend preforms oral sex on me and "eats me out" it's like it has no affect on me. Is this normal? I mean, he's down THERE... using his mouth... shouldn't that affect me? It's almost as if I just don't feel it either. Sometimes I exaggerate my motives a bit when he does just to make him feel a bit better. It's not that I don't WANT him to. And I don't want him to stop. I just......

Quick Hits: Yet More Kinds of No

Sevensinz
asks:
I was wondering, can a doctor tell if you've masturbated? And in the case they can, is it possible to mistake it for being sexually active? I'm asking because I have a lot of health problems and I have to see an OB/GYN soon, which means that there's a chance the doctor will check to see if my vagina looks right....

He's Queer, I'm Straight, and It's Great Except...

elinor
asks:
Help! I'm in a relationship with a man (I identify as a straight woman) who identifies as queer. He's mostly had sex with men in the past (there might have been 1 woman), but this is first heterosexual relationship. It's also my first relationship with a queer man. I really care for him, but I am struggling with checking my own heteronormative attitudes....

I'm an introvert, but I want to start dating.

firefly21
asks:
I'm 19 and I've never even been kissed. No guy has ever shown any interest in me in that way. I am so tired of waiting. I feel like I'm missing out on this huge part of life, like there's this line separating me. I think part of the reason might be that I don't go to parties and things like that....