Boyfriend

Healing and dealing with triggers and fears as a male sexual abuse survivor

DAN asks:

I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened. I've been drinking and went back to drugs. I wouldn't want to, but it's the only way I can get some rest. Last weekend happened something that really scared me. I was drunk and high and without noticing I found myself rubbing a guy's leg. I pretty much wanted to make out with him and other stuff. I can't become gay, it's not fear I hate myself so much, I hate the pervert who abused me, I hate everything right now. Yesterday I cut my wrists but it wasn't deep enough. I don't want to die but I find hard living right now. This evening I cut my face. What happened the weekend means I'm gay? Am I becoming gay? What can I do to prevent it? How can I stop remembering? It's just too embarrassing to talk to anybody. If I was a girl I could do it, but come on, I'm a man. Men don't let these things happen. I'm just trash.

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Upstairs, downstairs

Anonymous asks:

I couldn't get it up and I'm 19! It was going to be the first time for me and my girlfriend, but the man downstairs didn't respond! I didn't feel nervous, I felt confident that I would be fine. But when the mood struck I couldn't deliver. Now not only do I feel like crud, I'm hoping that the next time it happens that the little soldier downstairs decides to take some action... It felt like the most disappointing thing in my life. I was tired. If that is a factor, then maybe I just need a good nights sleep and another go at it? Any advice would be amazing.

How do I convince him to use a condom when he says we don't need one?

Dawn asks:

I'm 14. There is this guy I knew for a couple of years now. We are very good, close friends. As the months went by, we started to get sexually attracted to each other. About 2-3 weeks ago we had oral sex (I sucked his penis only). Now we want to do even more. We both want to actually have sex. I'm really attracted to him sexually. After sexual intercourse has occurred between the two of us, there's no way I can ever forget him. I will have to live my life knowing he was the one who took my virginity, and that's fine. But the only problem is...he feels that there is no need for a condom. He says "there is a feeling he gets that lets him know when the sperm is coming." Should I believe what he says is true or should I convince him that a condom is definately needed?

We both masturbate, but she hates that I do.

Anonymous asks:

Recently my girlfriend and I have become more sexually active. We've agreed not to have intercourse, but to do everything else. Along with our discussions came the issue of masturbation. We both do it, but she never achieves orgasm through it. She hates that I do it, although I've explained it is natural and healthy for guys and does not affect anything we do and does not make her less important. I do not know really how to approach the issue to make her feel better.

How do I get my girlfriend comfortable with the idea of a threesome?

muskate23 asks:

Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and I want to get her comfortable with us bringing in another girl, but I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't know what I should say to get her comfortable. I don't want to sound as if I want another girl, I just want to try something new.

I know consent is awesome, but rejection is not!

Anonymous asks:

I know guys should ask for consent, but can you say some stuff about handling rejection? What about the times when she says no? This would be really helpful - because it's really hard not to take it personally - and that's probably the biggest reason guys don't ask, because they fear rejection.

Why can't she just understand that I'm not ready yet?

Chad asks:

My girlfriend doesn't understand why we can't have sex because I'm not ready. I keep asking her to wait a little longer, but then she gets confused and she thinks I'm not interested. I just don't want to mess up or get an STD. I don't know what to do.

The Blowjob that Changed our Friendship

Anonymous asks:

My best friend gave me a blowjob and I don't know what to do about it. It started off at some college party a few months ago. We got drunk and had to get a ride to my place. He stays far away in the boondocks and the designated driver didn't want to drive that far so I told my best friend he can sleep by my house. While we were laying down and watching TV I told him about how my girlfriend gave me head for the first time last night. Next thing I know, he's giving me an example of when his ex-girlfriend sucked him off and he starts nuzzling his nose in my pelvis area. One harmless example lead to another and my penis ended up in his mouth.

I'm SO ready...and he SO isn't.

Anonymous asks:

I am a girl that has a past, I am still a virgin, but I know some things, but my current boyfriend is a complete virgin. I was even his first kiss. I am seventeen and can feel all these urges, and I want him to do something, make a move, or something....anything, but he never does. I talk to him about it, and all it seems to do is upset him.....what can I do?


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