Sade is 17 and works as a youth activist for YWCHAC, a program for and by young women of color that helps foster their development in advocacy training while providing them with the skills to be effective peer-educators to youth on the subject of sexual health. Their mission is to address the increasing rates of HIV infection in young women of color ages 13-24. Sade does a lot of community outreach and events that help develop partnerships with individuals and organizations that have similar goals, events like annual sexual health summits, safer sex education parties, advocacy and STD (STI) workshops, and other community projects.

I got the chance to ask Sade about what she does, why she does it, and what she thinks about some of the issues that impact HIV and young women. I've shortcut my own questions to give her words the spotlight, because she's got some phenomenal things to say that so many people really, really need to listen to.

On what she wants people to know about young women and color and HIV:
I feel that people need to know that their health should always be top priority. The sad thing about doing this work is that many people don’t even know what HIV or AIDS stands for or how, where or how often to get tested. Some adults don’t even know how to use condoms. But that’s why we exist: we care. I feel that as young women of color we need to start caring about our bodies and our image because if don’t care for ourselves no one will. But first we have to create a system where there are sexual health resources for all teens. When you look at the statistics it shows that black and Hispanic women are 29% of NYC female population and together we represent 86% of NYC women living with HIV/AIDS. So the main thing that I want to get across is that prioritizing is the key to fighting this disease.

On what she feels the biggest barriers are for young women of color when it comes to HIV, with prevention, treatment and the whole context of their lives, particularly taking the impact of institutionalized racism into account:
I believe the biggest barrier for us to overcome, combined with our sociopolitical status, is the lack of resources we have in communities of color. This does not only stand for protection against STDs but in all other aspects of our lives. We, as women and as people of color, are disproportionally underrepresented and we lack a sufficient understanding of what we need and what we have a right to. How are we supposed to know what’s wrong if we don’t know what’s right? I feel that the best way to tackle this is by having a voice and mobilizing with people who have bigger voices. If we knew what we should have then we wouldn’t settle for less and that’s what it’s all about. We need to make sure that we are heard and our needs are being met.

On what messages she feels young women need to be getting about HIV:
Young women need to understand that our bodies are our temples and just like we would treasure a gift that we’ve waited so long for, we need to treasure our bodies 100 times better. Young women need to understand that HIV is not a foreign disease and not a gay disease. There are a lot of stigmas associated with HIV infection. I feel that this misconception comes from the media where the science and health channels only depict Africa or some other third world country as plagued with HIV/AIDS, when in fact, NYC is plagued just as well with the disease. There is a lack of sex education even our health teachers in school have on this subject. Many people still walk around with the “1980’s mentality” that HIV can only infect gays and you can tell a person has HIV based on appearance.

On how cultural and media messaging impacts girls, their self-care and HIV:
I definitely feel that the media plays a big role in the way we view ourselves, the way we treat our bodies and the way we allow others to treat us. Many of us don’t like to admit it, but we are impressionable and naïve. The media preys on this by distorting our view on priorities, between right and wrong, and ultimately our value systems. They teach boys that it’s okay to demean women and they teach girls that it’s okay to be demeaned. We are forced to be submissive and conform to gender norms that teach us to put ourselves second. And here is when priority becomes distorted and our sexual health falls by the wayside. It’s all about prioritizing.

On being an activist in this arena:
The work has been great! Although there are times when I feel defeated or worn out. At the end of the day, it’s the gratification of knowing that I’m just not doing something to help someone else but I am potentially changing things for myself and others like me. That’s what motivates me - to know that I’m representing a whole class, gender, and race of people that may not be as fortunate to have the resources I have to do the outreach and to be liberated. As far as challenges, I don’t face many challenges in my line of work. I find that people seem open-minded and respectful to a young black female teenager who is knowledgeable and passionate.

On getting started as a young activist:
If another young person would want to take action like I have, I’d say ask around for organizations or programs that mobilize on the issues that you’re interested in and if it seems like you can’t find one, or if you’re the radical type, then start your own. You’d be surprised to know how effective and successful many youth-led and youth-run organizations are.

On envisioning and imaging a better world:
I honestly don’t like thinking about my ideal world because when I do I become more open to all the other issues that people have to deal with on a day to day basis. It kind of makes me depressed. However, I do like anticipating a day when a new policy is passed that is a reflection of my hard work. When I look forward to my small goals, it motivates me to go further and deeper into my advocacy and outreach.

This post is part of the blogtour for the SPARK Summit, happening in New York on October 22nd. Tomorrow's stop on the tour is at Our Bodies, Ourselves. SPARK -- Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge -- is both a summit and a movement designed to push back against the increasingly sexualized images of girlhood in the media and create room for whole girls and healthy sexuality. SPARK engages teen girls as part of the solution. The Summit works with and highlights girl leaders and activists to jump start an intergenerational movement.

Toni Weschler used to be my neighbor, a fact that caused me to squee more than a little loudly and scare the bejeezus out of my pets when I first discovered it. Sadly, we didn't connect as often as I wish we had before I moved out of Seattle and to a more remote island outside the city.

A while back, I sent Toni some questions for Scarleteen, and many months later, she apologized for sending them to me so late. Now I owe her an even bigger apology for publishing them far later than that!

If you don't know who Toni is, she's the author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement and Reproductive Health, which is pretty much THE book for people who want to chart fertility, and the book I used to learn how to do it well in my 20's. She also wrote a great book about menstruation and charting for teen women, called Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body. She's an amazingly dedicated and energetic person who also just happens to really, really like chocolate croissants.

You've dedicated your life's work to menstrual charting: why do you think charting, and awareness of menstrual cycles, is so important?
In a word, it’s incredibly empowering. In addition to helping to increase self-esteem by helping women to take control of their bodies and appreciate their incredible intricacies, charting is infinitely practical. It’s wonderful as an overall means of maintaining gynecological health, as a method of natural birth control, and as an aid to pregnancy achievement.

What myths about menstruation do you think do us the most harm?
Ovulation occurs on Day 14
First and foremost, I’d say the myth that ovulation occurs on Day 14. Not only is this myth responsible for more unplanned pregnancies, but also for untold numbers of women not being able to conceive.

The issue of unplanned pregnancies is huge. Unfortunately, most of us grow up hearing that the egg is released on Day 14, so if we just avoid that one day of our cycle, we can prevent pregnancy, right? Wrong! First of all, not all women ovulate on Day 14. Secondly, even if some women do ovulate on Day 14, the day of ovulation may vary from cycle to cycle. Thirdly, sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman’s body, so if a woman has sex on Monday, she can still get pregnant that following Friday!

The opposite ramification of this myth pertains to the issue of infertility, which can feel even more overwhelming for scores of women desiring to get pregnant. Again, a woman may ovulate on Day 14, but could just as well ovulate on any other day. So she could theoretically try for years to get pregnant by timing intercourse for that one mythical day, only to discover that she never ovulates then, but rather weeks later!

A normal menstrual cycle is 28 days
Actually, a normal menstrual cycle can vary from about 24-36 days. Not only do cycles vary substantially among girls and women, but they often vary within each individual person. There are numerous things that can impact a cycle. One of the most unfortunate results of this myth is the needless anxiety that it causes people who are led to believe over and over again that they may be pregnant because their periods are “late.”

Vaginal discharge is a symptom of an infection
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yes, it’s true that discharge can be a sign of an infection if it is accompanied by itching, odor, or inflammation, but the female body has a predictable way of revealing how healthy it really is. Every cycle, when a girl or woman is about to release an egg, she will produce a wet, slippery substance for several days leading up to ovulation. It is called cervical fluid, and is absolutely healthy!

So rather than feeling shame or running to the gynecologist every cycle when you produce this normal cervical fluid, take pride in the fact that your body is doing what it was designed to do!

A lot of young women tell us they want to avoid touching themselves genitally, an obvious problem in a lot of ways, but also when it comes to charting and menstruation. What do you think about that, and what do you think can help?
It’s so sad that in our society, boys are often raised to take pride in their bodies, especially their penises, while girls are taught to not even discuss what’s “down there.” So is it any wonder that girls feel uncomfortable with the idea of looking at their vulva, let alone touching it?

One of the best ways to help girls get over their squeamishness is to give them a mirror and encourage them to look at their vulva in private, after having taken a shower or bath. Once they feel comfortable in just looking at their external anatomy, they will probably feel more relaxed about touching their vaginal lips and exploring their bodies more.

Another way to help girls get over their squeamishness is to help them appreciate how amazing their female bodies really are. Once they learn all the incredible things their bodies do every cycle, they will take much more pride in them and undoubtedly want to get to know them better.

Do you see any trends in increases of reproductive health problems for young women, and if so, do you think they really are new, or are instead only just being diagnosed now (or, of course, misdiagnosed)?
Girls are tending to have sex earlier in the last few generations. And whenever someone has sex, their chances of contracting an STI increases. The younger a girl is when she starts to have sex, the more partners she will probably have, increasing her chances of developing a reproductive problem that could ultimately affect her fertility when she is older.

What makes this situation especially problematic is that the cervix in young girls is not fully developed, so that the most vulnerable part is most exposed to pathogens that can cause infections, reproductive problems, and even cancer.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a different situation. It is only relatively recently that physicians have started learning about the condition and its pervasiveness. Fortunately, girls are now being diagnosed and treated earlier, before it has a chance to impact them so negatively.

How do you feel about menstrual suppression, especially for younger women?
In a word (or two): Bad news! For starters, there hasn’t been any research yet on the long-term health effects of suppressing periods in women in general, and teens in particular. History has already shown us that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) had potentially disastrous effects on women, but its repercussions were discovered only after years and years of use.

What we do know is that periods are necessary to rid the body of excess iron which can help lower a woman’s risk for cardiovascular disease. In addition, periods wash away bacteria inside the reproductive tract. And probably most importantly for teens, suppression of menstruation is likely to interfere with bone and breast development, as well as long-term fertility.

And, of course, periods are nature’s way of alerting a woman to the fact that she is not pregnant. Without them, it would be next to impossible to know if or when a woman got pregnant.

Finally, girls should grow up understanding the amazing ways their bodies work. Menstruation is an indication of the health of their bodies, not something to be eliminated!

Yesterday, after working my second job at the clinic, I was effectively kidnapped by my co-worker Gigi and her ten-year-old daughter Sophia, whom I adore. She calls herself Big Sophia around me, my pug (scroll down this page for a visual) being Little Sofia. We wound up driving from their place to my neighborhood for dinner, which is a pretty long haul.

A bosom buddy is someone very near and dear, with who you can share your most intense feelings and difficult challenges. Also known as “bosom friends,” the term is a bit antiquated and the wording not embraced by all; however, just Shakespeare said “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” a true friendship is special and unique regardless of what you call it.