birth control

Pregnancy Scared?

Worried you or a sexual partner might be pregnant? Evaluate your risk, find out what steps you may need to take next, check in with your feelings and by all means, breathe. We're here to walk you through it.

Birth Control Bingo

Click through a series of detailed questions to narrow down your own best methods, become a pro on what method your partner is using, or windowshop in-depth info pages on each contraceptive option. With 25 integrated pages of teen and twentysomething-specific information, plenty of links, questions and answers, we've done our very best to help you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy.

All About S.E.X.: The Scarleteen Book!

Get your hands on S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Heather Corinna! Check out reviews, the table of contents and a myriad of places you can get your very own copy of the sexuality primer for every body.

Condom Basics: A User's Manual

Using a condom is generally easier than it looks (especially if you can relax about it), but the first few times, it can be tricky, especially if you're nervous about knowing how to use one.

I think I might be pregnant, and might have to choose an abortion.

MadsHatter asks:

My boyfriend and I have had unprotected sex and my last period was 2 months ago (in 10 more days). I've had a two week delay on my period before, and I'm pretty volatile and feeling cramps every now and then but still....no blood. I'm scared to death I may be pregnant but I absolutely CAN NOT tell my mom. I'd be disowned, without a doubt. So....please help me!! I'm getting desperate enough as to seriously consider an abortion because my body can barely support myself, never mind a baby. I heard Vitamin C helps induce a self-inflicted abortion, too. I'm saving up for a test at Planned Parenthood, but I'm still nervous and scared as all heck. Words of advice??

Back Up Your Birth Control Backup Day

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Tue, 2012-03-27 18:34

from http://ecequalsbc.tumblr.com/from http://ecequalsbc.tumblr.com/Yeah, we meant to say that. Boy do we wish we didn't.

Here's the spiel: it's Back Up Your Birth Control Day today, but as you may have heard, or personally experienced, here in the states, we're still having a lot of trouble with pharmacists refusing over-the-counter Plan B (emergency contraception, the morning-after-pill, or whatever you like to call it), for a whole of reasons, including because of age, even though most of those asking for or about it are of legal age to get it over-the-counter, and without a prescription. We knew that was happening already, but that recent covert study linked there brought it more to light and gave this some more (very needed) attention.

We understand that dealing with being refused something when you're likely already feeling panicked, and also asking for something pretty private without much, if any privacy, can make dealing with refusals even more hard and maddening than they already are.

We also know that in that position, sometimes it can be hard to speak up for yourself, especially if you feel judged because of being a young person who had any kind of sex in the first place (or were assaulted and assumptions are being made about you and sex), and a pharmacist is speaking or acting authoritatively, even while they're talking out of their bottoms because they just don't know the legal age or they're knowingly deceiving you because they don't want to dispense it and are just in the mood for some super-fun lording-power-over-young-people that day.

But you've got rights, for crying out loud. If you're of legal age to get emergency contraception over the counter, ayou cannot be lawfully refused on the basis of age.

So, we thought we'd make this a bit easier for you to deal with if it happens, and to prepare yourself for, just in case.

Attached at the end of this entry is a PDF file you can print as a handy helper.  It gives you four fold-over copies to cut down the dotted line, then fold in half. One can fit neatly -- and, given the blank backside, privately -- in your wallet. Since one page prints four, pass the other three (or more!) out to friends who might need it, too.

On each little sheet, the left side shows the law right now around age and the right side says what you can and will do if refused EC. You can use it to read out loud, or even just slide it over to the pharmacist doing the refusing without saying a word, if you like. They may well change their mind about refusing you right there and then once you do that.

But if they still refuse to give it to you based, then you also have all the steps about your next steps right in the palm of your hand. You can find your state pharmacy board and contacts for the given pharmacy's higher-ups just by using a search engine.

The text of this printable "Pardon me, but hell no," reads:

Over the counter Plan B, Plan B One Step, and their generic versions are approved to allow OTC availability of these products for consumers 17 years and older. Plan B, Plan B One Step, and their generic versions remain available by prescription only for women 16 years and younger. - U.S. Food and Drug Administration, last updated 12/16/2011, with a number you or the pharmacist could call the FDA with, and that's 1-888-INFO-FDA.

Besides that text is text that makes clear what you will do if refused, most of which comes from the National Women's Law Center very helpful page on this issue, and that is:

If I am refused Plan B, I will:
• File a compliant with my state's pharmacy board to seek sanctions against this pharmacist or pharmacy
• Communicate my story to the press.
• Alert this pharmacy's corporate headquarters
• Contact my ACLU affiliate (http://www.aclu.org/reproductive-freedom will allow you to find that affiliate)
• Contact the national Women's Law Center (which you can do regarding this issue by calling 1-866-PILL-4_US or emailing info@nwlc.org)

Don't forget that one thing you, friends or partners can always do to have BC backup when you need it is to get Plan B in advance when you have the chance to get it: that way you can avoid not just possible refusals, but avoid having to run around if and when the clock is ticking.  If you might ever need any -- read: you might ever be at risk of pregnancy -- and you don't have it, next time you're at a pharmacy and don't need it can be a very good time to pick a pack up. Also, don't forget that a lot of state health departments, Planned Parenthood branches and other sexual health clinics often dispense it themselves for cheaper than you can often get it at pharmacies, too.


I take birth control because it is my f*@&I#g right to take it.

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Submitted by Anna Lekas Miller on Sat, 2012-03-17 16:46

I am so fucking fed up.

The latest is from Arizona: now, if an employee uses the company’s health insurance to purchase contraceptive pills, they must prove to their employer that they are using them for “non sex” purposes. If they don’t, they could be fired.

How is this supposed to go?

“Oh, yeah here is my ultrasound from my ovarian cyst. See it over there? Yeah, its a big one.”

“Here is a testimony from my ex-boyfriend about just how terrible my PMS is that it lead to our eventual, inevitable catastrophic breakup. Then he became gay.”*

How are you supposed to prove that you have ovarian cysts popping a mile a minute and a slough of gay ex’s to prove how terrible your PMS is while simultaneously proving that there is no way in hell you are using it for "sex purposes?"

How are we supposed to prove that birth control–whose very name not so implicitly implies controlling a birth–is not our bang without a baby free card?

We can’t even refer to it by its official name, contraception: it is also an explicit word for just what the pill does, contra/conception. And calling it “the pill” just sounds ominous.

But none of this is even the point.

The point is, who the hell has the right to not only legislate my uterus and my private sexual practices, but make this a matter of national security?

I was on the pill long before I was an appropriate age to start having sex. I hate the cysts, the cramps, and the horrific PMS that turns straight men gay to boot. But I do not want to justify the fact that I take birth control with the idiosyncrasies of my ovaries.

I take birth control because it is my fucking right to take it.

It is my right to take it to take care of cysts, make me more comfortable, and keep my boyfriends around and heterosexual. It is my right to take it to have crazy, wild all day all night (did I mention wild enough to make Rush Limbaugh quiver?) pre-marital sex with said boyfriends (and non-boyfriends)–for as long as they stay heterosexual and it is still consensual. It is my right to keep all of this to myself, because what I do with my body is no one’s interest but my own–I would prefer it not to be a part of the national agenda.

But lets say, for a moment, that it is.

If I am having so-much-sex-that-i’m-going-broke-because-for-some-reason-i-use-the-pill-like-viagra-like-how-rush-limbaugh-taught-me (talk about hormonal), isn’t it in the country’s best interest that I protect myself? Isn’t it best for people not to have children when they can barely financially support themselves? Isn’t it best that I wait until I no longer have to rely on the terrible, socialist state for welfare for me and my child and can fend for two in the brave new privatized world?

(I’m a journalist, so that will be never. I should probably take birth control like Viagra, just to be safe.)

*For anyone wondering, I have never (to my knowledge) turned any former boyfriend gay through the sheer power of my PMS. It was just a sarcastic theme that stuck throughout the post. However, I now feel it is necessary to check in to make sure.

Editor's Note: We know you all know already that the idea of "turning" people any orientation through any behaviour is either someone smart like Anna just making a funny, someone with a truly overinflated sense of their own sexual power, or people not knowing what on earth they're talking about, right? Thought so.

Originally published here.


Ready for arguments about increasing your access to Plan B? We can help.

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Tue, 2011-12-06 16:45

You may have heard that the FDA may finally remove age restrictions for the morning-after emergency contraception pill in the United States. If you've heard that, you may have started to hear some panic or fear-factoring, not just gratitude and relief.

Currently, in the United States, someone must be over the age of 17 in order to get Plan B at a pharmacy without a prescription. Until two years ago, the age limit was 18. It's still kept behind the pharmacy counter for people of all ages, but those over 17 do not need a prescription from a doctor or a clinic to purchase it.

For a long time now, organizations like ours and many, many other reproductive choice, justice and health organizations, have been lobbying to remove that age restriction, something other nations -- like Canada, Australia, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Israel and others -- do not apply; a restriction which has never been supported by sound health data. The restriction per age has long been about politics, not health.

In fact, a medical council formed expressly to inform the FDA about Plan B in 2003 recommended it be provided without prescription regardless of age then, a recommendation the FDA did not follow. More than one staff member at the FDA during the years this has been an issue, including the highly dedicated Susan Wood, resigned in protest of decisions about Plan B access and the political motives for those decisions, which stood counter to sound medical information, what the basis of FDA decisions are supposed to be about.

We feel, like so many other sexual health and adolescent health organizations feel, like you might yourself, that young people should have the same rights with their reproductive choices that those over the age of majority do, including the ability to access safe contraceptive methods the same way as those over the age of majority do. We feel that decisions for all citizens like this need to be centered on credible health information, not political or personal agendas or religious beliefs.

Given this possible sea change, you may find yourself, not unlike some former members of the FDA, having discussions or heated arguments about this with people who really do not get it for a while, and in those, you're probably going to face a serious lack of facts. In case you need them, here's a quick and dirty roundup of some typically uninformed statements with some factual information and context to counter them with.

But Plan B is so unsafe! It's like a GIANT dose of birth control pills!

A lot of over the counter medications, also without age restrictions are not only dangerous, but far more associated with serious health risks.

For instance, you can get all of the following over the counter here in the U.S., none of which have any age restrictions (links are to informational listings about them, including health risks): ibuprofen, acetaminophen, cough syrups or cold medications which contain dextromethorphan or pseudoephedrine, sleeping pills or energy drinks. Heck, you can get candy bars within reach even if you are still only crawling around in footie pajamas, but we don't hear people talking about putting them behind the counter for the safety of diabetic kids.

Plan B is a medication just as safe or safer than some of those things, especially when those things aren't used as directed, which happens a lot, no matter how young or old people are. No deaths have been linked to Plan B, and we can't say that about any of the other things I put on that list above.

It's also not quite right to say that it's a "giant dose of birth control pills."

Most people who use the pill use combined oral contraceptives: a combination of a synthetic estrogen and a synthetic progestin. And while both of those things carry potential health risks, especially for people who have health or lifestyle issues that heighten those risks, the larger risks tend to lie with the estrogens or the combination of estrogen and progestin. Plan B does not contain any estrogen, only levonorgestrel, a progestin. That matters and makes it tough to compare to the most common daily-use oral contraceptives. That's also some of why reputable medical organizations assert that emergency contraceptive pills are usually safe even for people for whom regular contraceptive pills are unsafe. The World Health Organization lists no medical condition for which the risks of emergency contraceptive pills outweigh the benefits.

Too, people who use either combined birth control pills or minipills tend to use them for longer than one or two days like with emergency contraceptive pills, but instead will take a pill every day for weeks, months, years or decades, depending on how long they use them for. Very few people will start using birth control pills and only take two out of a pack.

Most oral contraceptives have 100 to 150 micrograms of levonorgestrel per pill; emergency contraceptive pills contain either two two 750 microgram levonorgestrel pills to be taken 12 hours apart (or together: taking them apart is mostly about reducing the chance of feeling nauseated) or one 1500 microgram pill, to be taken 12 hours apart. Almost everyone who uses a birth control pill for more than a week or two is taking in as much of the hormone in Plan B or, and most typically, far more. And these medications aren't like a sleeping pill or even an advil when it comes to overdose, if that concerns someone about the amount of hormone in Plan B. Not only do we know this is a safe amount to be used as directed, "overdosing" with oral contraceptives does not present the kinds of dangers we see with other kinds of medications. It might also help to take a look at the facts about frequent use of emergency contraception: in a word, we have no evidence so far, after more than decade of research, that has found any more or different risks than ongoing, proper use of other hormonal contraceptives.

Let's not forget that pregnancy can be one of the riskiest things there is when it comes to people's health. Preventing pregnancy with a safe medication like Plan B poses far less risk to someone's health, especially a young teen's health, than a pregnancy does.

But, but... it is SO DANGEROUS for TEENS!

But, but... it isn't. Not that anyone has discovered so far with many years of scientific study, anyhow. There has NEVER been broad medical or scientific support for the decision to require a prescription for minors, but not older people. It's been the other way around: most healthcare professionals and medical organizations, like the World Health Organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association and the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists, as well as, again, many doctors at the FDA, have objected to these age restrictions. The people who tend to oppose it most are people like this. (Note: that link is to an anti-choice site, the American Life League, which is hopefully obvious from the first sentence, but may become more so by the total lack of contextualization with the information given there, such as a lack of mention that all the risks they list for the MAP exist with a pregnancy. And maybe when reading their website.)

So much of what people know and have heard about emergency contraception has been informed and greatly influenced by people and organizations who are anti-choice, and who oppose Plan B and often other kinds of contraception, not because of concerns for anyone's health, but because of their political agendas to limit the control people -- most commonly women -- have over their bodies and reproduction.

Again, know what's dangerous, sometimes truly, earnestly dangerous? Pregnancy. Now, that doesn't mean people need to be afraid of pregnancy or that we're saying people who want to become pregnant shouldn't make that choice if it's a wanted choice. But there's a reason why maternal mortality rates are so high in places where pregnant people can't get sound, consistent care during pregnancy, labor and deliver from healthcare providers, including educated midwives. That's because pregnancy is dangerous. Preventing pregnancy with safe, studied contraceptives is always statistically safer than becoming pregnant. So, if someone wants to flip their lid about how dangerous contraceptives like Plan B are, they better at least be pulling out all the same stops and more about how potentially dangerous being pregnant and giving birth can be, too.

And even though legal abortion is also very safe, and in the first trimester, safer than a full-term pregnancy, emergency contraception is safer than abortion, too.

Some people have concerns that teens will not be able to understand how to use EC properly without getting a prescription from a doctor. While it doesn't make much sense to have that concern about EC and not all the other medications a young person can currently get over the counter, some studies have found that concern also is not sound. "Two studies were published in 2009 regarding emergency contraceptive label comprehension for teens. Raymond et al. found that 79% or more of adolescents aged 12-17 correctly understood six key concepts found in labeling: 1) EC prevents pregnancy after unprotected sex 2) it should be taken as soon as possible 3) it should be taken within 72 hours 4) it should not replace regular contraception 5) it does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) 6) it should not be used by women who are already pregnant." (The Reproductive Health Technologies Project, Tough Questions and Answers about Adolescents and Over-the-Counter Emergency Contraception, 2009) By all means, patient and consumer literacy is always something to be concerned with, but we have no reason to believe this is a greater concern with teens regarding Plan B than it is with people of all ages.

It might also help to know that there are already some contraceptive methods as available to teens as to those over the age of majority which we know or suspect may pose different or greater risks for them, like Depo-Provera, which may present risks around bone density for younger teens. And young people should be informed by their doctors or pharmacists of any risks these or other medications or devices present to them based on age, when there are any, just like people should be informed when older age increases a risk, or when a given health condition or lifestyle issue may increase risks.

And if there were different or greater risks with Plan B for young people than those one, three or ten years older, those same standards should be applied and, you can be certain, would be applies. Thing is, based on all the study of these medications so far, we don't have any data to suggest the risks are different or greater for those under 17.

I am not okay with teenagers being able to give themselves an abortion by just walking all willy-nilly into a pharmacy.

Even as a strongly pro-choice person, I don't know if I'd feel comfortable with that, either. I am, however, a fan of walking willy-nilly. It's much more fun than just plain old walking, that's for sure.

But that's moot, since no one of any age can give themselves an abortion by just walking into a pharmacy and getting Plan B, including in places where people of every age can access emergency contraception without a prescription. That's because you can't use emergency contraception to terminate pregnancy.

A lot of people -- some out of ignorance, some who know better but know how easy it is to obscure the facts by just muttering the A-word -- have the odd idea that emergency contraceptive pills and a medical abortion, or "the abortion pill" are the same thing. They're not. Plan B and other emergency contraception not only is a very different medication, it does very different things. Even if someone wanted to terminate a pregnancy with Plan B, this medication can't do that: it lacks that capacity.

You can get information on the "abortion pill" -- a bit of a misnomer by itself, since medical abortion involves two medications, not just one -- here.

But more people will have sex without using birth control if they can just get EC easily.

Emergency contraception has the word contraception in it because that is what it is: it, like other methods, is contraception. Is it as effective as several other methods? Nope. It's also more expensive, too, especially if people are using it often.

I'm not sure why anyone is this concerned about people choosing this method of contraception rather than others by this token, but for those who are, so far, we also don't have any data that shows that when EC is made more available, including giving minors the same access those older have, that there's any basis for that concern. As reported by the Alan Guttmacher Institute years ago, providing adolescents with advance doses of emergency contraception neither increases their likelihood of having unprotected sex nor negatively affects their use of condoms or hormonal contraceptives.

Perhaps more to the point, if one is worried about people not using contraception, then it's tough to figure how it makes sense to limit their access to contraception.

Want more information about emergency contraception, including teen health concerns? Check out these links:

If and when you get tired or arguing with someone about this who just will not let go of the non-facts, do yourself a favor and just print them out, pass them on, and give yourself a breather. Bashing one's head into walls is something we know isn't healthy. :) If, on the other hand, like some of us (coughcough) you seem to have dedicated much of your life to arguments like this and you find what we gave you here isn't enough? Leave a comment with an aspect or issue you want more information about or help voicing. We're glad to help you out.


Condoms Breaking? Ur Probably Doin It Wrong.

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Submitted by Heather Corinna on Wed, 2011-11-23 09:51

As we've explained in the past, like here, with proper use, condoms actually break very rarely. The common mythology that condoms are flimsy and break all the time is just that: mythology, not reality. Different studies on latex condom breakage tend to reflect a breakage rate of around .4%, or only 4 breaks in every 1,000 uses. So, if you're having condoms break often, especially before you've even used them a few hundred times, it's not likely something is wrong with condoms, but that something is wrong with the way you're using them. That's not surprising, since a lot of people don't get good information about how to use condoms correctly, or ever see clear, slow demonstrations of proper use where they also get the chance to ask questions.

Since we've been having some users lately reporting patterns of breakage, we thought we'd take a few minutes to walk you through a review of some common issues that tend to make breakage more likely, so that those of you using condoms can avoid breaks and have them provide you the high level of effectiveness in preventing pregnancy and STIs you are using them for.

Have you checked the expiration date? Condoms past their expiry date are much more likely to break, because the latex can start to break down. If they're past the expiry date, they also may have been shuffled around for a long time. The expiry date put on a condom -- which you can always find right on the package of every individual condom -- is usually for around five years after it's been manufactured, so you've got a pretty good time window. Our advice? Make sure a condom is not only within its expiry date, but around six months ahead of it, the time when a lot of condom resellers dump a batch instead of continuing to sell them. Don't use condoms past their expiry dates: toss them out and get yourself new ones.

Are you or your partners storing them properly? Sometimes people carry around what we'll call the "wishful thinking" condom. That one condom they keep in their wallet from the dawn of time, thinking if they have that one condom, they'll be more likely to have an opportunity for sex. Or maybe you just think that will assure you'll never be without a condom when you need one, which would be great if the condom you had had been stored properly.

Condoms need to be stored somewhere that doesn't get too hot or cold, where they're not directly exposed to sun or fluorescent light, and where they don't get bumped around a lot. Back pockets, wallets, the bottom of a purse or inside a car dashboard compartment are not sound places to store condoms. If you want to carry a condom or two around with you, find something you can put them in that protects them, like a pencil case, or in the box they came in if you bought a whole box. There are also cases made expressly for storing condoms, and sometimes when you buy condoms, you might find some already specially packaged in a storage case.

Condom storage is also something to think about before you even have the condom yourself. Some places that sell or dispense condoms don't store them properly, potentially screwing them up before you even get them. That's why machines that dispense them aren't such a great place to get them, nor are places like gas stations, which often keep them near the front windows, where it can get hot or sunny. When purchasing condoms, look for them to be in a spot where temperatures are moderate and they're not in direct sunlight. You also want to avoid hand-me-down condoms, too, however well-intentioned the person who gave them to you may be. Who knows how that person stored them.

Leaving room in the tip? You don't put condoms on like you put on a sock or stocking, where you pull them all the way on so that they're snug at the tip. Instead, we need to leave a little bit of room -- around a half inch or so, or the width of two fingers, if that's easier -- at the tip for ejaculate and so the condom can move around a little bit. That makes them feel more comfortable, too.

Using enough lubricant? Plenty of condoms come pre-lubricated, but that's only a smidgen of lube. More times than not, especially for intercourse that goes on for a while -- and more so with anal intercourse than vaginal, since the anus doesn't produce its own lubricant -- you'll need some extra lube right from the start, or to add lube during sex. Even with vaginal intercourse, while the vagina often produces its own lubrication when the person with the vagina is aroused, lube is often still needed. It's pretty common for younger people to feel nervous or have issues with arousal, so not being as lubed up on your own as you might be otherwise is typical. Too, if you're using a hormonal birth control method like the pill, one common side effect is a drier vagina. While we don't endorse mixing sex with drugs or booze, being wasted also tends to impact lubrication, especially with alcohol. By all means, drinking impairs our judgment no matter what, making it a lot harder to use condoms at all, let alone properly, but it also often inhibits parts of the sexual response cycle. Whatever the reason, chances are awfully good that you need more lube than a condom itself offers. Plus, putting a drop or two of lube inside the condom, as well as more liberally on the outside, makes condoms feel a lot better, too.

Feeling funny about using lube? Don't, seriously. People have used lubricants for as far back as we know, and if you ask us, beautifully engineered, clean lube in a bottle or tube is a serious improvement over animal guts or blubber, something we know people way back in the day used as lube. The idea that a body creating enough lubricant on its own gives a person some kind of sexual status, and that not being lubed up enough on your own means something is terribly wrong, are both really problematic ideas. Lube makes things feel better most of the time, and it helps condoms be more effective. We can probably agree that there's no status in sex feeling less than as good as it can, or in a condom failure.

Remember, what you use as lube with latex condoms matters a lot. When buying lube, look for the tube bottle or packet to make clear a lube can be used with condoms. Oil-based lubes or oils, lotions or vaseline are NOT okay to use with latex condoms.

One condom per customer. If you have the idea that two condoms at a time are better than one, ditch it, and fast. That only increases friction, which increases the possibility of breakage. Only use one condom at a time.

Same goes for thinking thinner condoms will be more likely to break: that's not true. Thinner condoms often feel better and are just as effective as thicker ones.

Does the condom fit? Condoms really aren't one size fits all. Sure, most brands will fit a lot of people just fine. But some brands or styles don't work for plenty of folks. So, if a condom is really tough to get on or off, hard to roll down, won't roll down all the way, or feels uncomfortable, try out some different sizes or brands. If we have to struggle with condoms, we're more likely to put them on wrong or just ditch them altogether. And with so many options in condoms, there's no reason anyone should have to use a size or style that doesn't work for them. The right condom usually feels great and works just as well. Even if you're getting condoms for free from a clinic or school, you'll often have more than one option, so snag a few different ones when you can.

Carrying condoms when you're not the one wearing them? If so, see if you can't buy variety packs, so you have more than one style or size around in case another just doesn't work out. Most condom manufacturers sell combination boxes of a couple different styles or fits, sold right where you can get boxes of only one style or size. If you feel funny about having a variety and worry about judgment from a partner, remember that what you're doing is having an assortment so they're most likely to have a condom that feels good for them. Every partner is going to appreciate that.

Are you or your partner hanging around after ejaculation or starting intercourse again without changing condoms? Male condoms are manufactured and designed for a single use: in other words, for only one session of intercourse or one ejaculation. After ejaculation happens, it's really important the person wearing the condom withdraws pretty immediately. If you want to continue that sexual activity or start again, you need to put on a new condom.

Breaking during oral sex use? That's even more unusual than breaks during intercourse, but if it's happening, we've got one word for you: teeth. You've got'em, and they're sharper than you think (just ask your lunch). If condoms are breaking during oral sex, and they were put on properly, stored properly, and are within the expiry date, teeth are probably the issue here. Remember that during oral sex, you've got to watch those little sharpies, both for a partner's comfort, but also when using condoms.

While we're talking about teeth, don't forget that they're not what you want to use to open a condom. That can easily rip or tear the condom. You want to use your hands to open a condom, not your mouth.

Practice makes perfect. So does patience. If you're racing around in a big hurry to put a condom on, it's a lot easier to make mistakes. And when everyone is turned on, they can be a lot tougher to notice. So, if you aren't already an expert with putting condoms on -- whether you're the person who wears them or not -- practice. If you are the person wearing them, practice during masturbation, where you don't have the pressures we can all feel when there's a partner there. If you aren't the person wearing them, get some condoms and find something suitable to practice on: the age-old banana is always an option, and one of our users today said she practiced using a deodorant can.

Remember that it's ideal for everyone involved with condom use to know the right way to use them and how to put them on. Not only can putting them on for a partner make condoms feel like part of sexual activity, rather than an interruption, we all have different levels of experience and skill with condoms, as well as different levels of condom education. So, if both people know how, and one person is doing something wrong, rather than finding out the hard way, the other person can easily make a correction so condoms work as well as you want them to, every time.

Don't forget about the female condom! If no matter what you do, male condoms (and we know, this female/male language doesn't make a lot of sense, and certainly isn't very inclusive, but it's what they're called right now) don't seem to work out for you, try a female condom to see if that works better. Female condoms are non-latex, and far roomier at the base and through the shaft than male condoms are, and they can also be inserted well in advance of intercourse to help you avoid game-time fumbles. As well, if you or a partner prefer not to withdraw soon after intercourse, that's okay with female condoms in a way it isn't with male condoms, which are more likely to break or slip off when withdrawal doesn't happen soon, or if intercourse is something you continue after ejaculation. Female condoms can be a bit tougher to find, so if you want to try them and are having a hard time finding them, check in with your local sexual health or family planning clinic.

Have questions or want someone to walk you through all the steps of proper condom use so you can be sure you're doing it right? We've got your back: come on over to the message boards, or use our text service. We're happy to talk with you one-on-one.

P.S. We just got a helpful addition to this list from Scarleteen reader and peer sex educator Katarina Albrecht. She said, "Another important point: Do NOT poke your finger carelessly into the tip to correct the direction for rolling them off! We teach people to blow into the tip to change the direction or be reeeally careful with their nails. We've been seeing so. many. girls (and boys) do this with their long, sharp, nicely manicured fingernails." Thanks, Katarina!



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