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Advice

The Scarleteen Concierge: No Lines, No Waiting

Help us help you help yourself (now try saying that ten times fast).

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

Want a quick way to sort out what does and does not pose real risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections? We've taken the temperature for you here.

Pregnancy Scared?

Worried you might be pregnant? Evaluate your risk, find out what steps you may need to take next, check in with your feelings and by all means, breathe. We're here to walk you through it.

What's Sex?

It's obviously important if you're here for information that you know what we mean when we talk about sex, so we thought we'd make it clear.

Tired of Teasing

Anonymousssdude asks:

Hello there, i am 18 years old and my girlfriend is 16. She has been with around 17 other guys, given one blowjob and handjobs etc. but when it comes to me, she does not seem to care about what I want. I please her from fingering her, go down on her and we have sex as well. But when it comes to handjobs she does not seem to be willing to work in order to plessure me. The only thing she does is touch me down there in order to tease me which she finds funny but i hate it. What can i do to tell her in a nice way that i really would like her to do SOMETHING instead of just pissing me off? BTW we have been dating for around one and a half month and im getting sooo tired of it already. It would be okay if it was her first time, but thinking about the fact that she has done this to other guys makes me sick and tired of this relationship. It might be worth mentioning that this is the first real relationship of her's. Hope you can help me :/ have a good one

How can I protect my partner from HPV?

Lucilabolof asks:

I'm a 15-y/o girl who has recently fell in love with a 15-y/o girl that I met in December.
We've made it clear that we have romantic and sexual interests about each other, even though we think it's still too soon.
She knows that I've been sexually active with multiple partners for a couple years, and she's very enthusiastic about experiencing new feelings and desires (I'm the first female she's ever been interested in.)
We both agree that we're OK at the moment, but... I have HPV. She doesn't know because we haven't even had that much physical contact yet and we both agree that we want to wait for a while. I don't want her to be scared about it if we sometime decide we're going to have sex.
I have found no actual studies about how common is lesbian HPV transmission, so there is no way for me to talk her about the possibilities of getting the STI.
And even if there were reliable charts and stuff about this, I want her to be the safest she can be with me. Like, 100% safe of whatever could happen to her. I'm THAT in love.
I know and use the most common methods of safe lesbian sex, like using different condoms for toys, using gloves for intercourse, and female condoms for oral sex. But, STILL...
She's very excited about this whole I'm-gonna-lose-my-virginity-with-you thing, and I don't want to dissappoint her. There is no way to make sure that, if we scissor, she won't get infected. And she has told me that she'd like to scissor.
I mean, if she agreed to have sex with me even with the STI, I wouldn't want to. 'Cause I really want to take care of her. I'd feel extremely guilty if she got ill because of me. I'd like to protect her from all bad things even though that's impossible.
(I know I'm very cheesy and protective, she's OK with it too.)
What should I do? To have sex, or not to have sex?

Why doesn't my girlfriend enjoy sex?

tazzy asks:

Hi, me and my girlfriend are dating for almost 2 years now, we met when she was 19 and I was 21, we love each other and our relationship is going great, with only one exception - sex. We had our first sex few weeks after we have met and the problem was that she didn't feel almost anything during it, and we are dealing with this problem since then. We both had some sexual experiences before and she claims that she has never had experience like this, only that she hasn't reached orgasm every time but at least felt pleasure during it. So it looks that the problem is in me, but I don't know where. I don't think that my penis is so small (I've had around 20 sexual partners before her and never noticed such problem) plus when i finger her with just one finger, she likes it. It is similar when I touch her clit, she is able to reach orgasm very quickly this way, but when I touch it during sex, she says that it's a very little bit better but still nothing special and when I try to touch it after we try to have sex she doesn't feel anything at all. Long story short, she only liked having sex with me twice and only for a short time, so it is clear that we are very desperate about it but still cannot find solution. I have tried to google this many times and have never found a similar problem.

I Hate my Body, What Should I Do?

soclara asks:

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met on a dating site, and I am having a very difficult time with showing him my body in a way that is real as opposed to posed/cropped/filtered in a way that makes me look better. To give some background, exactly a year ago I developed disordered eating, then "graduated" to binging/purging. I've always been fat, since I was little, and I think that is part of the reason I look the way I do now. I've always hated my body for obvious reasons, but I never really did anything about it until last year, and in fact the disordered eating developed from me deciding to lose weight the healthy way until I discovered that fewer calories = more weight loss. I lost this weight with literally zero exercise and for some reason I can't get myself to do it.

So therein lies my issue.

Sixteen and Struggling

Badgyalania asks:

Hi I'm 16 years old and I'm a lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a female for a year and 4 months now, but it's hasn't been all happy and what not. We've had a lot of down falls mainly on her. She's lied to me about soooo much and has cheated on me more than 4 times I'm not sure the exact amount but its definitely more than 4. Our relationship isn't just a relationship we are best friends and it's really hard for us to walk away from eachother. So everytime I find something I give her another chance and she always says she's going to stop and fights for me to stay with her. I dont know what To do anymore I'm in love with her but it's not the same anymore everything we've gone through has changed our relationship and how we view eachother. So now I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay and see if it gets fixed or just give up and leave my best friend and first love. She also took my virginity by the way. She always try's to control me and I do the same but the difference is I listen and she doesn't she just lies and lies. I'm so stuck and I'm becoming depressed and she isn't being any help she think I need to just move on from what she did and continue the relationship but I don't think it's that simple. There's so much more but I'm gonna leave it at that.

How can I break up without hurting my boyfriend's feelings and ending our friendship?

hermitsunited asks:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We were good friends before we started dating. He's one of my closest friends, but I no longer feel attracted to him and don't think we should date anymore. I don't think he feels the same way - I think he really likes me a lot and I feel really bad about ending our relationship even though I think it's the right thing to do since I don't feel the same way about it him anymore. He's the first person I've ever dated and I'm nervous about breaking up with him. Do you have any advice for how to break up with someone as compassionately as possible and preserve the friendship?

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