Advice

I wasn't ready for sex, so he opted out of being with me, and now I feel like a loser.

Lisa asks:

There's this guy I've known for a long time. We were going to pursue a relationship. The problem is he has a high sex drive and I'm a virgin at 22. He's a lot older: he's 28.

The fact I'm a virgin - it's a issue to him. I want to take my time and wait until I'm ready. He can't understand why I'm not ready. Anyway we decided not to take it further. He decided to get back with his ex as she can give him everything he wants and needs. I can't help but feel insecure and inadequate. I keep comparing myself to her. Thanks for your help.

When is it safe to go unprotected?

Hilary asks:

When is safe for a woman to have intercourse without any protection?

I'm too ugly and fat for him and I can't take it anymore.

CMH asks:

I recently turned 24 and I have never been in a real relationship. I am in love with my best friend, with whom I have had a very interesting and painful 4 year friendship. He took my virginity at the age of 21, and he is one of 2.5 guys I have slept with; he is the only one I have hooked up with more than a couple times. He has cheated on two different girl friends with me, and he tells me he loves me but he has always been very clear that he will never be in a relationship with me. I have asked him a couple of times why. After a lot of beginning, he finally gave me list of everything that is physically and mentally wrong with me.

What are these bumps on my penis?

crimsonballer asks:

Hi I have had these small (2mm or less) bumps on my penis for a long time (at least 4 years) they are white or mainly the color of my skin, and go about half the way up my penis. They are much more visible when my penis is erect, and it seems like after a while hair sprouts out of these bumps. I have been doing some internet research and think they are Fordyce's spots. They don't hurt or itch or anything, it just embarrasses me. I would like to get rid of them, but talking about that with my parents would be hard. Before this year I had been masturbating with Vaseline, but this year I stopped using the Vaseline, and the appearance of these bumps seemed to be reduced, but they aren't gone totally. Please help!

He thinks it's unattractive when I touch my clitoris, but I don't enjoy sex otherwise!

Tayy asks:

When I have sex it doesn't really feel that good. For me to have an orgasm I HAVE to play with my clitoris and my boyfriend finds it very unattractive. I don't know how to stimulate my "area" right and I think the advice would be nice. I'm 18 years old and I think that it is a bad thing that this is happening to me so young! I just don't feel the "amazing pleasure" I hear other girls talk about. How do I stimulate myself to have a healthier sex drive and feel the pleasure I hear about? Thank you for the help and support!

He says he wants sex to be more about him, but what does that mean?

confused asks:

Last night my boyfriend had a few drinks and he got really honest with me...He said that he thinks when were in bed its always all about me and he thinks it should be more about him in return. I don't know what he wants me to do, mostly we have sex missionary but often with my legs in different positions. I do enjoy being on top and get on top often, but maybe that's not enough? I have given him oral and always believed I was good at it. What positions are more pleasurable for men where women do more of the work? I was also wondering if a man orgasms every time he comes?

Two Guys, Waiting and Wanting

Steve asks:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 months now and we have yet to have sexual intercourse. We're not like your average 2month couple. We stay together at each others house every night. I've slept with her every night this month, except these two nights. At times, just like these it is very frustrating. I've been sexually active for over 4 years now with around 7 different females. And she is a virgin. So, going from sex at least twice a month with no strings attached to a serious relationship with no sex at all, sometimes makes me want to have a mental breakdown.

He doesn't feel any desire for sex, but I want a sexual relationship

Elizabeth asks:

My boyfriend and I are 22 and 21, respectively, and have been dating for two years. We recently moved into an apartment and now live together. We're committed to not having sex before marriage, but we've been doing other sexual things since we started dating.

When we first got together, he was somewhat interested in oral sex (me to him, but NOT him to me) and touching and stuff. That lasted for only a few months, and since about a year and a half ago he has lost all interest in it. We'll do stuff maybe once every other month, if I'm lucky. It keeps getting worse. He's never been a very sexual person, and never even kissed anyone before me. He doesn't even enjoy kissing because he says it's wet and messy (even though we only ever kiss closed-mouth).

The only thing he has ever been interested in is feet tickling, which I grew used to. But anymore, he doesn't even seem to get turned on by that. He claims to be turned off by not only kissing, but also breasts, porn, and even the mere thought of a vagina.

Am I ready for sex, or is it just my hormones talking?

Anonymous girl asks:

I have just become a teen and sometimes I feel like having sex but I don't want to because I'm not ready. I just started my menstrual cycle. I think it's just my hormones but I am not sure. I also think it's wrong to do it unless you love someone a lot or your married. Most people today in our modernized world don't have the same philosophy. Am I weird? I am really religious so if I do it, it's gonna be on my conscience. Also since protection is not always 100% I might get and STD or pregnant. I need some advice. I don't think I can handle a sex life right now.

How can we make sure he stays erect for intercourse?

Lily asks:

Both me and my boyfriend are virgins so I'm not really sure what is normal. The two times we have tried to have sex he has lost his erection. He is completely turned on before hand, but as soon as the clothes come off and it's time to actually have sex, he loses it. He's coming back into town next week since he's been on vacation so is there anything I can do so that this time so we actually have sex?

Does being attracted to teenagers make me a pedophile?

curty asks:

I find myself more attracted to teenagers than females my own age (23). Am I becoming a paedophile? It's just that I imagine a teenager having a sense of awe and wonder when it comes to sex that is lost with time (not necessarily with experience).

I'm amazed at my own temerity in asking and having used the "p" word above I'm sure you won't answer my question but I assure you it is genuine. Any chance you know of some resources that may help? Thanks for taking me seriously.

We're newly married, had sex with our best friends and it was awful.

Kasey G asks:

I'm 18 and I recently got married a few weeks ago. Thus far we've been pretty happy and are also expecting our first child. A few days ago we had some friends over: his best guy friend and my best girl friend. I guess curiosity got the best of us all and I ended up making out with the girl... and then one thing led to another, before I knew it my husband was having sex with her! I was giving oral to his guy friend, trying not to cry and kill my husband and best friend! Afterwards they left and we were left feeling so empty. I know I'm not innocent but I just feel like him having intercourse was just WAY too much. Now that's all I can think about, and I'm so upset. I just really need some advice. I really dunno what to do.

What the heck does "sexually active" mean?

April asks:

My boyfriend and I just started getting physical in our relationship. He has fingered me and when I went to the doctors the other day they asked me if I was sexually active. I am still a virgin but I wasn't sure what to say. So if I have been fingered, am I sexually active?

She's my first sexual partner: I love her, but should I only ever be with her?

Dan asks:

I'm 19 and have been with my girlfriend for almost three years, except a couple months break last year when I broke up with her for fear of commitment. She's a year younger than me, and prior to our relationship, she had done some oral sex and handjobs with two guys. I've never been sexually active with anyone other than her. We were both each other's first sexual intercourse partner. During our break apart last year, she had sex with another guy. Long story short, I love my girlfriend tons. I recently got a new job and we moved across the country together and now have an apartment. We're very happy together and have what I would consider a very healthy relationship.

In the back of my head, though, I am always jealous of her sexual history. She's been with 3 other guys, and I've never even seen another girl naked in person. I've seen figures that men typically have around 8 sexual partners in their lifetimes. I feel horrible for thinking this, but it really bothers me that if I stay with my girlfriend (which I want to -- I really feel that I could be with her forever), I'll never have sex with another girl, because I have my morals, and I could never cheat on anyone. I'm not even sure what I'm asking, but do you have any advice for guys (or girls) in my situation?

Is oral sex natural, and do only people do it?

Chaitan asks:

Is blow job (oral sex) a natural thing? Because normally except human beings, none of the animals on the planet have been captured doing that. Is it just erotic by this porn world?