I have a question about anal sex. I hear from a lot of people that it's okay as long as your safe about it and consider health risks etc. But I've heard from many friends that it is shunned from society because it's just wrong to insert a penis there...that's where bowel movements are made! I've tried it once with my long time monogamous boyfriend of 2.5 years and it can be such a nice experience; just as nice as your first vaginal experience. I want to understand why it can be such a big deal...it would make me feel much better if I knew what was actually wrong with it.

I look at this way: if you've never tried sushi before, and you look at it and think that it's gross, you'll never try it. It's like that with anal sex. If you look at it and you've never tried it before, you might think it looks gross or isn't a nice experience...but you'll never know unless you've tried it. Is that in anyway close to how I think about it? I wanna know why it's such a bad thing! THANK YOU!

My girlfriend came home from a party. I wasn't with her. When she got home we went to bed. Neither of us have intercourse because of our beliefs. We do "fool around." She wanted me to stimulate her as usual which involves inserting my finger in her vagina. Normally, it's relatively for lack of a better term tight. This time her opening was wide open. Open to the point the I could have inserted 2 or 3 fingers. This was not a normal thing for her in the time we've been together. Is it possible that the opening was like that because of penetration of something else, say a penis? I never said anything to her about it but I'm concerned.

And Butterflyeye asks...
Can a guy tell how many sex partners that you've had judging by the tightness or lack thereof in your vagina?

First of all, I am really thankful for your services. I am 29 yrs old female and recently got married to a 30 yr old guy. We have tried to sex couple of times but unsuccessful because of pain I experience when my husband tried to penetrate. Although we gathered useful information from your site, the main problem is that since we both are virgins we don't have much idea about these things. Secondly we both are not aroused at same time. Can you please advise us as to what is the best position or possibly the best way to do it first time?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?