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Sexuality

Changing Sexpectations

A Scarleteen user's final project for her Feminist Theory class, these two student-made sex ed videos linked through the accompanying blog are informative and a lot of fun.

Quick Hits: Twenty-One Kinds of No

Anonymous asks:

Does anal sex make your hips and bottom larger?

I've been faking, but I just don't want to tell him.

Anonymous asks:

I'm seventeen years old and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for the year that we have been together. I have faked orgasm almost every time we have had intercourse. I have read your site and read the dialogue you have provided on how to come clean about this form of dishonesty. However, I feel that at this point I am not sure the best thing to do is come clean. I would like your thoughts on what sort of dialogue I should be having with my boyfriend concerning different things we can do so that I can achieve orgasm, without hurting his feelings. Do you think it's healthy to not tell him at all and move on towards a healthier relationship?

Will hell freeze over before I reach orgasm?

Anonymous asks:

Hello, I have browsed your web page and didn't exactly find what I was looking for so I am wondering if you could answer my question. Yes, it is orgasm related. You see I have been sexually active for a long time. I am 17 and I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He was a virgin when he met me but I wasn't.

The problem with me is: I have never had an orgasm. I know what you are going to say. "Not all women have an orgasm during intercourse." I get that, but I never had an orgasm during masturbation, or foreplay. Nothing. And now I am kind of pressuring myself to go. Well, not exactly pressuring myself, but in my mind I go: "Yes, right there, omg I am gonna come." When in truth, I am nowhere close. My brain might have just been sexually turned on to the max at that point, but I just don't go.

Why does my boyfriend watch transsexual porn?

Anonymous asks:

I am so confused about why my boyfriend is looking at shemale porn. It has torn my heart out and has caused us to split. I cannot stomach the thought of touching him thinking that he may be gay or bi. I have gone over and over in my mind about what this infatuation is. I am wondering also if it could be a fetish because he was born with one testicle and feels like a freak himself? I am sick over this.

Depression has sapped my libido: will it ruin my relationship?

Emma asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. We used to have sex a lot (meaning a couple times a week and seeing as we could only see each other on the weekends, that wasn't too shabby). However, I've been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety problems that have been making it hard for me to feel like having sex. This has been going on for a couple months and in that time we've had sex twice. I miss being with him and I know he misses it too. I don't want this to tear us apart. He's been there for me through all of these mental health problems and is definitely there for me during this rough sexual patch but I want that old spark back. What should I do?

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

Older boyfriend wants to add a second male partner: what do I do?

Anonymous asks:

I am 14 years old and my boyfriend is 18. We have not had vaginal intercourse yet but we have anal sex regularly. Recently he has told me that he wants to add another partner into our anal sex. I said that I was fine with it (assuming that he wanted another woman to join) but then he told me he wanted a man. I'm sort of uncomfortable about it. Does this mean he is gay? What should I tell him?

Can my girlfriend really love me if she lost her virginity to someone else?

Ronnie asks:

I'm afraid my girlfriend may still be loving her ex-boyfriend who broke her virginity. She has always proved that she loves me but I'm not convinced, even though she says she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. Is it true that ladies always have permanent feelings for men they first had sex with?

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