This is a guest post from Wendy Blackheart, at Heart Full of Black, for the Scarleteen blogathon. Want to take part? Toss us an email and we'll get you in touch with Laura, our blogathon organizer!

Ah, Scarleteen. I can actually remember a time before Scarleteen – they started up in 1998, when I was in 8th grade. See, I went to a school where 99.9% of our sexual health information was from an abstinence only program.

The school sex ed actually started out okay – in grades 3 and 5 we had health classes where we learned about the human body and how it works. In 5th grade, we separated out into groups of just boys and just girls, and got some of the details of puberty and what would happen to our bodies. We learned where babies came from and all that before the abstinence-only programs were started.

By high school, however, we were not getting much in the way of good information. We didn’t learn about birth control at all – it wasn’t even mentioned, not even in a negative way. We saw lots of photos of what STD’s can do to your body. But nothing I would consider really useful. Very little mention of alternative sexualites. Very little information on how to deal with interpersonal relationships. I can remember the anger from teachers, some of whom I had as teachers in my past sex-ed and health classes, at not being allowed to teach properly. I’m pretty sure that one of the teachers, who continued to push the envelope, was fired or quit, as she disappeared shortly after.

Hell, my younger sister went through the same program right behind me, and she didn’t even know that blue balls wasn’t a real thing that she needed to be concerned about. She gave many an unwanted and unnecessary blow job before one of her boyfriends set her straight.

People argue that schools shouldn’t be involved in sex education, and that it should rest on the parents of children to teach them instead, but this has problems too. When I, at a young age, found a copy of an age-appropriate book on where babies came from and started to read it. I read *everything* at that age. (I think I was about 6. I started to read quite early.) My mother found me reading it, took it away, and slapped me. My later maternal sex education included gems like “You don’t need to go to the gynecologist, you don’t need to go until you are married” (At the time, I was 2 weeks into my first period, which would last for another 2 weeks. I probably should have seen a doctor). At 22, she told me that I shouldn’t do something until I was married (she made weird hand gestures explaining this). Generally, all sexual health questions were answered vaguely, incorrectly, and with anger.

However, I, even as a youngin’, tended to be extremely pro-active about things I wanted to know about. I rode my bike to the library, and got whatever the current new edition of the Teenage Body Book, and other sexual health text books. I had been given an adult access library card since I had already read my way though most of the age appropriate fiction and had moved on to adult fiction by then. Thankfully, my mom was tired of having to go to the library to check stuff out for me on her card and got me my own.

So, I have always been a big fan of outside research for sex education. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t know half the shit I know today, nor have the skills to find them out.

Scarleteen was the only site I found on the internet at the time that I trusted. They gave honest, accurate information in a relatable, understandable non-judgmental way. By the time I was checking the site regularly, most of the information was already known to me, but it became, for me, the gold standard of websites.

When people came to me for information, I sent them to Scarleteen. When they had a question I didn’t know the answer to, I sent them to Scarleteen. When I needed to give someone information about something, I sent them a link from Scarleteen. All of my youngest sister’s friends used Scarleteen, because part of my drive-by sexual advice (I used to wander by and drop a tidbit off ‘Never use oil based lube with latex condoms!’ ‘Some antibiotics make birth control pills less effective!’) was a link to their website. Because no matter how cool of an older sister I was, there were still things they didn’t want to ask me yet.

To me, the idea that we had to go looking for this information was so sad. I sincerely wish that schools were all required to have honest, comprehensive sexual health information. This is information we all NEED, to be healthy, effective adults. That fact that we don’t have this is a sad thing – but thankfully, there are resources like Scarleteen available to kids and teens today to get them the information they need.

I’ve noticed, at least in my own little bubble, differences between the kids who have access to this information and those who didn’t – my sister and her friends are much more pro-active now about maintaining their sexual health, and dealing with issues with their partners. So far, none of them have had an unwanted pregnancy, which is not something I can say about my graduating class. They are willing to talk, and ask, and question in ways my generation wasn’t quite ready to to yet – and this is only an age difference of seven years.

What also is important to me is the fact that many of these children are LGBT, Queer, or questioning, and they have a fabulous resource available to them while they figure themselves out, again, something my generation was only just starting to have.

Scarleteen was an important stepping stone in my sexual education. Because of them, I was able to go into my early sexual experiences with knowledge and agency. I was able to make good decisions, and I was happy with the decisions I made. Actually, I waited quite a while before I finally had sex, and again, was able to go into this experience physically and emotionally prepared. These are Good Things. All kids should have that opportunity. (The Sex Readiness Checklist was a great resource for that, BTW. I think it should be given to anyone who ever may have sex, ever.)

We’ve made leaps and bounds in a remarkably short amount of time in non-standard, alternative sexual education and information, and the accessibility for those who need it to find that information, and that is a beautiful thing.

However, unsurprisingly, this takes money. Scarleteen does not have any federal, state, or local funding. The majority of their funding comes from private donors, and to continue to provide such outstanding service, they need donations! Scarleteen has always managed to provide outstanding information and outstanding services on a tight budget, and I can only imagine what they could do with more. They’ve done such good work for so many, and I for one want to see them continue to do this work!

So, if you can, I encourage you to donate to Scarleteen! They do so much good for so many kids and teens who need it. That’s all I can say – donate if you can. Hell, in a few more generations, we might even be able to get good sexual health information back into the schools, if we can educate enough of the kids today who will turn into the administrators of tomorrow!

This Spotlight on Scarleteen blog entry focuses on a very special section of Scarleteen's main site: In Your Own Words features real, honest-to-goodness first-person narratives written for you, by you, on a range of sex and sexuality-related topics from A(bortion) to Z(aftig celebration.) Even if you have already seen this section before, it's worth stopping by again as new articles and perspectives are added regularly!

Here's a sampling of our current offerings, grouped by topic for your convenience! However, at this point we have 28-and-counting unique accounts by individual users, volunteers, and people on the 'net much like yourself.

Sexuality and Sex-Related Issues

It's Between God and Me
So sure she'd "wait until marriage" for sex growing up, swgal found herself at odds with this aspect of her Christian upbringing once she had entered college. She shares how her spiritual and sexual journey intersect. At times they seems to clash or crash but ultimately she finds a way to take the Path Less Traveled and peace with both.

First-Time Intercourse: It Was...Good?
If there were a Scout badge for Being Prepared for Your First Sexual Experiences, halfwish would totally get it, hands-down. She shares her positive experiences with First Time Intercourse, before, during and after. She and her cool boyfriend J. occupy the starring roles, while her informative GP and accepting mum take on supporting ones. This piece, along with our Sex Readiness Checklist, make for two "must-read" articles for people actively anticipating new sexual experiences.

Me & HSV
For many people, the initial diagnosis of an STI like herpes or genital warts can feel like a cataclysmic event. However, these STIs need not be a rain cloud over your sex life; while these very common viruses cannot be cured, with education and understanding these viruses can be well-managed. And, as author Kat Giordano so awesomely points out, life with herpes truly can be as great as those cheesy Valtrex commercials lead us to believe!

Body Image and Acceptance

Frankenboobs
One day you wake up to find yourself with two very differently sized breasts... this may sound like like fodder for a science fiction flick but it was reality for author Audra Williams. Read about how she came to terms with them. Hint: It may be different than what you expect.

Hair, There and Everywhere
Scarleteen has a message board policy of not dispensing advice on shaving because we think body hair is just fine and what you do with it is a personal decision. However, we no longer live in an era like the 70s where a chest full of hair on men was considered desirable by many. Nicole is female and doesn't harbor any wishes for a 70s hair comeback, but she would like to accept that a beautiful head of hair doesn't usually just stop there.

My Body & Me"
Mortality shares her story about developing and dealing with an eating disorder. Because while disorders like anorexia and bulimia may appear to be about food intake, what's eating people is really so much more complicated. Find about her road to recovery and how she now happily can wear a miniskirt out clubbing.

Coming Soon

More In Your Own Words synopses coming soon on the topics of Rape, Abuse and Injury; Pregnancy, Parenting, and Abortion; and Activism and Empowerment.

Speak Up!

...and if reading about other people's experiences has inspired you to share an anecdote from your life, we invite you to do so here Scarleteen by clicking on the following: In Your Own Words: How to Speak Up! It can be something new that you write on the spot or an old piece you published on your blog or in your paper journal. We look forward to hearing from you!

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