I have been seeing this "perfect" guy for the past month or so. We are incredibly compatible, it's unreal. Recently though we had sex, prior to doing so we had some explicit conversations and I thought everything was, well...just talking about being with him was a real turn on. Naturally I was extremely comfortable talking about sex with him because he makes me feel extremely comfortable. Anyways, we had sex a few times and for some reason I don't feel at all compatible with him in the bedroom. Is this even possible?! It just seems as if it doesn't go over smoothly at all, something ALWAYS goes wrong! Should I give up or work at it--since he is so amazing in every other category! The issue has nothing to do with his size or performance, because he is great in those areas. It's just frustrating because there is always a bump in the road, and I've never been in a situation like this.
I have a question...so I was reading some of the questions that you answered and I noticed a strange feeling. The more I read of your site the more I am repelled by the idea of sex. I find that I start to lose trust in the people around me and question the things that they might do. I wonder just how normal they are, or if they are freaks who do sexual things with anyone or if they are gay or have some hidden agenda. The more I read about fourteen and fifteen year old girls having sex or doing sexual things the more I want to leave my house and hike out to the wilderness to live among the trees and rocks who live beyond the debilitation of civilization. I feel so alone, like I am the only one left who cares and that I am being pulled down with the rest of the world. Am I weird? Is there something unnatural or wrong with me for hating this all so much? Am I a bad person? Please be honest, I really want to know.
A friend of mine told me I was a racist because I'm not attracted to people who aren't of the same race as me. I don't really know why this is, I'm just not attracted to them. My friends are from many different backgrounds so I don't think that I am a racist. Is it weird to only be attracted to people that are the same race as me?
Lately I am afraid of any sexual contact.
I'm in a wonderful relationship and have been with this same person for the past 4 years. We have been having sex for 2 years, and thus far it is always both extremely safe and mutually satisfying. We have never had a sexual encounter that felt unsafe, and we talk about sex really openly.
I have no idea why I suddenly am uninterested in sex. Mentally, I want to be intimate with him. However, for the past two weeks I have physically flinched whenever we try to do something. I am not experiencing any physical pain, I just get scared. I have not experienced any sexual assault or abuse in the past (to my recollection anyway) and I completely trust my partner.
What's wrong with me? How can I learn to feel comfortable being physical again?
The only factor that I can identify as a possible explanation is that recently I tried watching porn a few times. I found it satisfying, then eventually got weirded out by how offensive it can be and the way it makes sex seem very public. I like sex to remain within my relationship, and to be very private. I felt guilty after the porn thing, and maybe that's why I'm still freaking out, but I don't know. I don't have any conscious guilt about that anymore and don't have it on my mind when we attempt to have sex. I therefore doubt that this is the real reason for my recent fears, but cannot come up with any other possibility.
Any ideas?
I am in my early 20s and recently had to stop taking the contraceptive pill because of a medical reason. Now that I am medically ok again, I planned to re-start the pill at some point this week. However, me and my BF of 2 yrs got drunk last night at a party and stupidly had unprotected sex. I am too embarrassed to go to a doctor and ask for a Plan B pill I have heard that if I take two contraceptive pills now (or asap) then it acts in the same way a morning after pill does...is this true?
I'm 21 years old I've been sexually active since I can remember, and never was interested in getting or giving a blowjob. But now, I want to but don't know how to give oral sex in a way I know he will ejaculate. So I just open my mouth and then what?
There's this guy at work who keep hitting on me. At first it seemed like innocent flirting but it's gotten downright vulgar and creepy. He's 15 years older than me. I'd like to remain friends with him, if possible but he seems to think that when I turn 18 it will be okay that he says completely inappropriate things in the workplace. I'd rather not file a complaint but I will if I try everything you tell me and it doesn't stop. A friend also suggested that I drop his girlfriend a line through email letting her know what's going on. I think that would be kind of mean and may even make him violent. He's really pushy so it scares me a bit. I'd like to know how to convey to him to knock it off without hurting his feelings or getting anyone else involved.
I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP
Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?
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